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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

What was your part?

Jan 1st 2014 new
I was doing a little introspection, reflecting on my shortcomings in a relationship that I thought I would be in until death. All too often we speak about what our significant other did or did not do. But, what about our part? I firmly believe it takes two people for a relationship to be successful. It also takes two people for a relationship to fail. I think we do ourselves a great service when we examine our contribution to the demise of a relationship. We are creatures of habit and often make the same missteps again and again. Reflection is good for the soul and good for future relationships. What have you done to derail a relationship that you really wanted to work out?

my former situation-- I went behind the scenes to resolve a situation that was causing my SO anxiety issues, depression, and creating tremendous stress in our relationship. I was trying to protect and comfort him, but there was quite a backlash because that approach is not authentic. The lack of authenticity can play havoc with a relationship. Although my intentions were honorable, the methods sabotaged my relationship. School of hard knocks type of lesson learned! We must be accountable and responsible and when we are, things will usually go better for us.

Jan 1st 2014 new
It's not good to be introspective at 3 am... you'll beat yourself up too much! boggled
but seriously, good thoughts as it does take two for a relationship to fail...and often it seems from the way people write that often the blame is placed on the other person and seldom on themselves as well.

As for me.. yup..made plenty of mistakes...none of which i care to divulge.. laughing laughing but enough to say most of my relationships have made me a better person, and hopefully some of my former gfs can say the same. biggrin Praying

btw.. HAPPY NEW YEAR. beer
Jan 1st 2014 new
me too, about not fessing up laughing [it ain't pretty] but I have grown up some shhh
Jan 1st 2014 new
(quote) Joan-679620 said: I was doing a little introspection, reflecting on my shortcomings in a relationship that I thought I would be in until death. All too often we speak about what our significant other did or did not do. But, what about our part? I firmly believe it takes two people for a relationship to be successful. It also takes two people for a relationship to fail. I think we do ourselves a great service when we examine our contribution to the demise of a relationship. We are creatures of habit and often make the same missteps again and again. Reflection is good for the soul and good for future relationships. What have you done to derail a relationship that you really wanted to work out?

my former situation-- I went behind the scenes to resolve a situation that was causing my SO anxiety issues, depression, and creating tremendous stress in our relationship. I was trying to protect and comfort him, but there was quite a backlash because that approach is not authentic. The lack of authenticity can play havoc with a relationship. Although my intentions were honorable, the methods sabotaged my relationship. School of hard knocks type of lesson learned! We must be accountable and responsible and when we are, things will usually go better for us.

Thank you for your honesty, it's refreshing. We are all flawed because of sin. I make new mistakes each day. My life has been an incredible journey. I do believe that people come and go in our lives for a reason. I've learned valuable lessons from my relationships. I am striving to become a woman in Christ and lead others to Him. I want to be a humble servant and extend the forgiveness and charity I hope to receive as well.

Many blessings Joan for a Happy New Year and a toast to new beginnings!
Jan 1st 2014 new
Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere, i've looked at cloud that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things i would have done but clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions i recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; i've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show. you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions i recall.
I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "i love you" right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, i've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say
I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's life's illusions i recall.
I really don't know life at all.
Jan 1st 2014 new
Just saying
Jan 1st 2014 new
Happy New Year everyone! God has blessed us to see another year, to grow more, draw closer to Him, & understand the plans He has for us.

Be assured I didn't create this topic as a confessional or for people to expose very private and perhaps embarrassing matters. My intent was to encourage an honest introspection on our past actions and/or words that undermined our relationship with someone we really cared about. When we look deeply, we generally discover patterns. I view the discovery as a blessing, an opportunity for the truth to set us free from ourselves. You will notice my admission was short on detail, but disclosed culprits--lack of authenticity AND "fixing" or more appropriately known as control. The good news is I am a recovering fixer You get a Gold Star! I am on a path of true self transparency. I believe this is helping me ready myself for my future mate. God and I are working on me while I wait Praying

Dave, I got a very late start on my hair and nothing to do while sitting under the dryer but reflect, read, & post on CM--LOL. I noticed the same thing about people highlighting the shortcomings of the "other." I think this is our human nature that we must fight against. While listening to Mother Angelica Classics last night, something she said inspired this post.

Larry, thank you for posting those lyrics. They are beautiful and really speak to our developmental movement through life.
Jan 1st 2014 new
(quote) Nicole-1018166 said: Thank you for your honesty, it's refreshing. We are all flawed because of sin. I make new mistakes each day. My life has been an incredible journey. I do believe that people come and go in our lives for a reason. I've learned valuable lessons from my relationships. I am striving to become a woman in Christ and lead others to Him. I want to be a humble servant and extend the forgiveness and charity I hope to receive as well.

Many blessings Joan for a Happy New Year and a toast to new beginnings!
Wishing you a blessed New Year also, Nicole. I believe as long as we are learning, as you mentioned, we are on the right road.

Larry, Glad you were just saying. Those lyrics are pretty amazing!
Jan 1st 2014 new
(quote) Larry-994477 said: Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere, i've looked at cloud that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things i would have done but clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions i recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; i've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show. you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions i recall.
I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "i love you" right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, i've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say
I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's life's illusions i recall.
I really don't know life at all.
Hi Larry,

Wow !! I remember being almost frozen in place and time when I first heard Judy singing this....
Jan 3rd 2014 new
I really disagree that it takes two people to make a relationship fail. It only takes one not willing to put in the work & passion a relationship requires. It stings to hear those words, knowing how much I was willing to sacrifice & how much mental, emotional & physical sweat I was willing to give to move forward with the relationship because of the vows I made. Was I perfect? Of course not! But my imperfections, nor his, did not cause the relationship to end...after all, a real relationship is knowing our imperfections & downfalls & together working on them, compromising, & learning to walk together as we grow & change, all with God's guidance. This relationship ended because of a choice made by ONE person.

Love is a choice.

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