(quote) Carl-98335 said: The things that really bother me: The person who wronged me did it intentionally; others who knew about it didn't speak up; the senior person involved told me point blank that he knew all about what was going on, but he was personal friends with the perpetrator; the senior person took no action against the perpetrator, but instead took me away from a position I'd worked very hard to achieve, and only promised that I would get the same position somewhere else, but it may take a year or longer. I was reassigned to a position far below my skills and capabilities, and the perpetrator himself tried to ingratiate himself to me. I decided to find a position somewhere else on my own.
I'm angry that although I secretly recorded my conversation with the senior person, I didn't take it to higher authorities, based on implied threats of retaliation. And the perpetrator and his buddies made me a laughingstock. I ask you, how do I forgive these people, and why should I?
In an employment situation, you should also seek 'justice'. If you have evidence that would incriminate the perpetrator and prevent him from intentionally committing another wrong against someone else in the future, can you still take it to the senior person? You may not receive 'justice' for yourself, but you'll be protecting someone else from an injustice.
"True forgiveness" (catholic teaching) has to be 'offered' and 'accepted'.
If the injured individual, is the 'offeree', and offers forgiveness, but it is not accepted (for whatever reason: such as the other party refuses to repent of injuring another willfully), there hasn't been a 'complete act of forgiveness', but the injured party has done their catholic duty in offering the other, forgiveness. ((However, the injured individual can also seek 'justice', before or after the offer of forgiveness.))
If the perpetrator of the injury, asks for forgiveness from the individual they injured, but the injured individual won't grant them forgiveness (for whatever reason: that they are 'so deeply injured, they could never forgive'), there is not 'true forgiveness' either. The perpetrator is also responsible for repairing the damage they committed. Which is often times, almost impossible.
The term 'a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye
', is really a teaching that when you take a tooth, you owe
a tooth. And when you take an eye, you owe
an eye. (((It's not a teaching that when someone injures you, you can seek retaliation and injure them equally brutally))). It's meant to teach that it's almost impossible to replace a tooth, if you've unjustly taken a tooth. And equally impossible to replace another eye, if you've taken their eyesight.
Praying for your enemies, is a catholic teaching. It's easy to pray for those we love. It's a much more difficult measure of love, to actually pray for those who harm us. But it works to your advantage, because praying for your enemies, allows you to a least remove the 'hatred' and 'anger' from your heart for your enemies, over time. Because it's impossible to hate, those we pray for, even if we have to 'force' ourselves to pray for them. But being who I am (a strong choleric), I still encourage people to seek justice, rather than remain mute, when an injustice has occurred. You may never see justice prevail. But at least do what you can to correct an injustice and to prevent it from happening to someone else.
(((A hug from the frozen tundra, to you Carl. You'll find justice, in the end--God is 'all just'. And you'll be free of this 'trespass', because you'll be able to forgive him....and you will be forgiven (according to the 'Our Father'), for any of your trespasses you've committed against others.)))