Good morning Elise and welcome to CM.com, I've been on this website for three weeks and have learned more in those three weeks than I have in the past 10 years.(I've never been on any other match site so I can't compare), First of all, explore the website and go ahead and push all those buttons on your keypad and learn what to do and not to do...as I'm doing right now, I'm learning and so can you. Go ahead and post your thoughts in the forums and I guarantee you will receive all kinds of messages...from one extreme to the other, That's a good thing because it will cause you to think and learn and rethink and relearn ad infinitum. Second, and this is something that will evolve, know who you are as a person and what you want, then state it plainly in your profile...which you can change as often as you like as you gradually sharpen your focus on who you are and what you want. Thus, if you want a protocol, use your profile as a screening mechanism. If you state you are seeking male pen pals, they will find you, some could become lifelong friends and one might become a husband. Supposedly we're all Catholics, all have Catholic values and all want to help one another become better Catholics...which is my theory about the ultimate goal of CM.com. Hope this is helpful. If you have a question, click on my profile, click on messages, send your question to me and I will respond. Maybe there really is a Secret Protocol and we can secretly find it!?