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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Greetings people. I'm relatively new here, and this is my first post on the forums. This is also my first experience with online dating, and I'm having a somewhat hard time "approaching" women. And yeah, I've read the "Easy Guide to Online Dating", but honestly, I think I'm rather bad at this. Allow me to elaborate a bit:

Let's say I find a girl that I consider interesting. So, how do I should let her know that I want to know her? How do I make that first approach? Do I send a emotigram saying "Hi, I want to know you"? Do I send her a lengthy message? What should I say? What should I do if she doesn't reply? Shall I try again or shall I leave her alone? What if she gives me a generic, short reply, i.e.: "Thanks"? Should I assume she's not interested or that she replied only as a courtesy? I've read in said online dating guide that women reply 16% of the time. That averages to one reply for six messages. If that's the case, shall I "quick fire" messages to a large group of girls in hoping that some of them reply?

Also, if she does reply, what then? What's the "next step"? Asking her out would be most likely out of the question, since I live in Per, far away from the majority of women in this site. So, a "virtual" date (is such a thing possible)? A Skype call or something like that?

I realize those are a lot of questions, but I'd really like to know your opinions. Thanks in advance!
Jan 15 new
Hi Jose,

I can't speak for all women, but personally, I find it easiest to talk to someone new when we have a concrete topic to talk about. So if you read in her profile that she likes dolphins, and you like dolphins too, you could ask her what her favorite place is to see dolphins and tell her about yours, for example.

If you hit it off and start talking a lot, you will eventually want to meet her in person. My philosophy about meeting people long-distance is to research some nearby tourist attractions and make a vacation out of it. That way, whether things work out or not, you won't regret having made the trip.

Hope that helps!

Monica
Jan 15 new
Subject: First Contact Protocols
My first thought: Play some music. youtu.be

Seriously, though, Jose, good questions. I have no answers. Best I can suggest is to try something, find out it doesn't work, modify it, try the modification, lather, rinse, repeat. Different approaches work for different people, and odds are it'll take some time and failed attempts before you hit a successful combo. Sometimes you might get an emotigram response from an emotigram you sent, other times you won't. If you send a message, you might not get a reply, you might get a short response, or you might get something that starts a conversation. To butcher Joshua's line, the only losing move is not to play.

Monica: Nice hat. :D
Jan 15 new
(quote) Hunter-996560 said: Monica: Nice hat. :D
Thank you, Hunter! smile
Jan 16 new
Interesting replies. Thanks for your insight! It's easy for me to be discouraged because of the difficulties that I can find when trying to contact someone, and sometimes that makes me to give up before trying anything. I hope I can change that.
Jan 16 new
It is all about trial and error something that we all learned in Algebra with Factoring. Even if somebody really grabs your attention right away and speaks to your heart, wait till the excitement simmers down on your part and carefully read and review their profile and then compose a well thought out introductory message.

Make sure you feel you are compatible with them from a physical standpoint, make sure your political beliefs are compatible with the other person. Keep things to a reasonable age difference, try those that live a reasonable distance from you. Look for clues on her profile like how willing is she willing to relocate if you live further apart from her

Sometimes you need to review a profile 2 or 3 times before you try and pull the trigger with a message.

Also understand that the ladies on here are going to be very cautious and therefore it can make them very judgemental and can disregard you for the slighest things. It is not their intention to hurt you or anybody, but in this way of meeting somebody we tend to be quicker to judge instead of just having a little bit of mystery and letting things trickle out the natural way like they would in a relationship where you do not meet on here

Mark
Jan 17 new
Hi Jose! I have felt the same way you do hehe

For me its difficult to know when somebody is really interested in know me. Sometimes, I have received an emotigram with a short message and I dont know if the guy is interested in start a friendship or if he is just being kind...so...I reply and wait...mmm...Sometimes, the communication continues and some others not... sad irked

Id tell you to be direct. I mean, you could send a short message telling the lady that you are interested in knowing her better. The worst thing that might happen is that she answer NO, THANKS...and it would be OK. At least you took the risk... wink

But, what if she says YES, I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND TOO...

Who knows? All could happen!

That is what I think. Have a nice day!

wave
Jan 17 new

1. There are no rules.

2. Give her a reason to respond. A question, a real compliment, a thought-provoking comment.

3. Response rate of 16%? Dang! My personal stat is more like 2%.

4. Relax, be yourself, and participate in the forums -- that way, people get to know you, you better learn whom you want to contact, and you have lots to talk about.


Jan 17 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said:

1. There are no rules

Marge says this a lot, because it is always the best answer to questions such as these! Different people respond to different communication styles. I don't like long introductory messages that address everything on my profile; others may find them extremely charming and like the challenge of responding to them. Two different men could send me the exact same message but my receptiveness and responses could be wildly different depending upon who the sender is.

Just be yourself. Do what you feel comfortable with. The right type of lady for you will not only respond but will continue communication. Forget about those who don't answer back or who quickly lose interest.
Jan 18 new
Jose- it's definitely a process and one worth trying.
Que dios te guarde.
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