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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

When would you say it's healthier to just concede and accept that you will never find your match, or even that a match does not exist for you? What would cause you to come to that conclusion and throw in the towel? It just seems to be too painful to keep holding on to some thread of hope as more and more time passes ... I have thought about this a lot lately and wondered if it's just better to abandon the whole idea and accept being alone ...

Jan 31 new
(quote) Richard-15378 said:

When would you say it's healthier to just concede and accept that you will never find your match, or even that a match does not exist for you? What would cause you to come to that conclusion and throw in the towel? It just seems to be too painful to keep holding on to some thread of hope as more and more time passes ... I have thought about this a lot lately and wondered if it's just better to abandon the whole idea and accept being alone ...

Never. God's plan, Gods time.
Jan 31 new
(quote) Bernie-645443 said: Never. God's plan, Gods time.
But ...what if God has other plans? Are we fighting against God if we pursue something that can't be?
Jan 31 new
I understand where you are coming from. I have been giving lots of thought to this and praying for guidance about it for a while. While I wouldn't exactly say that I am ready to give up, I have decided that I am ready to move on and focus less on finding my match. I will always be open to marriage if that is in God's plan for me. However, my subscription here is due to end soon and with that I will be moving on and will turn my focus elsewhere.
Jan 31 new
(quote) Richard-15378 said: But ...what if God has other plans? Are we fighting against God if we pursue something that can't be?
Hi Richard,

" Can't be " ? Sez hoo ?

He gives us the dreams, and the ability and free will to follow a parallel path of self growth while waiting.

If we choose " can't be ", it won't be. One step at a time.

While I don't fully subscribe to the " Journey is the goal " idea, at every moment in time we choose our outlook,

Our dreams are maybe in one sense an induction of a part of God's overall wish for our happiness. Abandoning dreams kinda abandons God. The act of choosing to be open to God's plan and willing ourselves to be ready to act in fulfillment of it, IMHO, is an essential step on the path to paradise. That aligns us on a " parallels-meeting-at-God's-infinity " approach. Perhaps Grace enacts, enables, or " kick starts " a will to choose subservience to God's will, and the ability to freely accept our status at any particular moment.
As the apostle expressed in his first letter to the people of the canal, we don't know if it " can't be ", so should act as it " can be ".

" Can't be " , expressed as end entropy, no more possibilities, is IMHO, opposite to Church teaching of why God made us. We can choose to " be happy with Him " at each moment, whether He has given us a spouse at that moment or not.
Jan 31 new
thumbsup Nicely put, Bernie!

Richard, in giving up and saying "eh, no spouse for me", you are closing the door on the possibility.
Saying and believing "God, this is what I want, but ultimately, I want what You want for me because I love you most" is a possibility for anything to happen--which also includes being very happy even when we don't get what we thought we wanted--and often, His Grace also covers that desire of ours so that we don't care that we didn't get it, because we are fulfilled in Him. Sometimes that lacking is left uncovered as part of our cross to bear in this world; sometimes it's our humanness that holds on to the pain instead of letting it go and giving it to God.

Which way do you think, Richard, that you will feel more happiness: closing the door, or leaving it open?
Jan 31 new
hug Richard, I am not in your shoes or in most of those that share it with you ...

I will share this story and might be redundant and not applicable:

after I joined the Ladies Sodality, i was always curious (which gets me in trouble all the time), wouldn't it be nice to have a Christmas party ... then, parish always had a parish Christmas party and the timing was always off, years came and gone ... so, my wish came true last year and we planned accordingly... everything was all set ready and the time was getting close, only few came ... of course, i was concerned/worried, due to the weather that many may not come ... i had to let go ... it is when i let go and then seeing their faces was stupendous and so angelic ... they were also so wonderful to recite Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary (Litany of Loretto) in thanksgiving for all the gifts we received last year ... the big surprise was life entertainment ... closing the door on the frustration/i want, etc, and then leaving the door open for the good things, you will receive many surprises like a Christmas present ... lovestruck!

I had to let go and allow Blessed Mother Mary and God to work on their time in everything i do ... same as i do in here (CM and in life) ... in the end they will know if there is one for any of us ... but I have decided to take each day as a very special Christmas gift - which is the life and love of Christ given in me to share with those around me here in Heaven - Holy Mass... lovestruck!






Jan 31 new
I don't know. My stepmother was 49 and never married when she married my dad and they been married 10 years you just never know. I'm sure she felt like just giving up many times.
Jan 31 new

Richard

My eldest son is one year older than you. What I would tell him is what I'll tell you

First: God does NOT have a plan for you as that is predestination. He has given you the best gift that anyone has ever received. That gift is your God given FREE WILL . You can use it wisely or you can ignore it and whine while waiting for someone to hand any solution you wish to you.

I suggest that you dust off your resume' reconstruct the mission and charge forward with a renewed effort to succeede. With determination and the pride of doing anything yourself offeres so many rewards. Now, just contemplate what effort you have put forward and search your own heart to see if you really did try. Now just go out there and join in battle.

Love

Dad

OK, Richard that is what I would tell my son. I hope it helps and may God love and protect you on your journey

Philip

Jan 31 new
(quote) Philip-600116 said:

Richard

My eldest son is one year older than you. What I would tell him is what I'll tell you

First: God does NOT have a plan for you as that is predestination. He has given you the best gift that anyone has ever received. That gift is your God given FREE WILL . You can use it wisely or you can ignore it and whine while waiting for someone to hand any solution you wish to you.

I suggest that you dust off your resume' reconstruct the mission and charge forward with a renewed effort to succeede. With determination and the pride of doing anything yourself offeres so many rewards. Now, just contemplate what effort you have put forward and search your own heart to see if you really did try. Now just go out there and join in battle.

Love

Dad

OK, Richard that is what I would tell my son. I hope it helps and may God love and protect you on your journey

Philip

Your such a good Dad, Philip! rose
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