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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people under 45. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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Being Pursued

Feb 23rd 2014 new
Hello ladies, just want to see if you like being pursued by us men? What type of pursue do you go for, and what aspects of it do you not like? For me I think, is about keeping the communication going, and asking the girl about herself, and how she became the person she is today. Also, keeping and seeing to her well-being, and interjecting advice for her, to lend itself for her to see that you really do care for me. Anyways, would love to hear your opinions on this ladies. Thanks for reading.
Feb 23rd 2014 new
(quote) William-888220 said: Hello ladies, just want to see if you like being pursued by us men? What type of pursue do you go for, and what aspects of it do you not like? For me I think, is about keeping the communication going, and asking the girl about herself, and how she became the person she is today. Also, keeping and seeing to her well-being, and interjecting advice for her, to lend itself for her to see that you really do care for me. Anyways, would love to hear your opinions on this ladies. Thanks for reading.
Hi William,

Too bad you are just 33. You listed to a tee almost what I see as important. I don't like aggression that will turn me off in a heart beat. Also, don't start asking me for my phone number, address, email address, etc for a while.

Yes communication to me is important. Number one to see how he handles himself in the written form. That may or may not be important to some and not others. It is to me. Show some interest in me. Don't make it all about you. When you potentially like some one and want to show an interest ask questions, but of course, not too revealing. I think some of those more personal questions can come if you do end up having a relationship with the chap.

Above all be nice, courteous, and use your best manners. People want to make it complicated but it really is as easy as 1, 2, 3. Just don't get too emotionally about the whole thing.

William, good question. Thanks for asking.
Feb 24th 2014 new
How do we like it? boggled Has it started yet?
Every friendship I've had on CM was initiated by ME. I can't wait for some nice guy to step up to the plate and take a swing for the back fence.
Feb 24th 2014 new
Well, you do live in ME, and aren't Yankees, even transplanted caliYankees, the paradigm that is New England thrift and self-propelled get-go?
Feb 24th 2014 new
Hi, William:

I appreciate initiation and leadership by a gentleman in a relationship, but I have also had experiences where being pursued was uncomfortable and even annoying (mostly off-line but a few online). From that perspective, some comments:

--Clearly state your intentions occasionally throughout the process and whether you have a timeframe in mind. Do not leave her guessing where you stand in regards to her.
--Offer genuine compliments that value her as a unique daughter of God. In other words, don't lay it on too thick so as not to be believeable and focus mostly on attributes that are not physical.
--Within a reasonable amount of time, read her ENTIRE profile and view all her photos, including captions. Don't bring up all your comments at once, but it's flattering when someone has taken the interest to read, say, my favorite music selections that I took the time to type up rather than just asking, "What's your favorite music?"
--Do not invite a lady on a date or seek to escalate the relationship in front of others. This can cause undo pressure and embarrassment.
--Do not assume a lady is agreeable to a committed relationship until you have that private discussion. Do not leave her wondering whether she's your girlfriend or just start introducing her as, "My girlfriend."
--If a lady asks for space or is not interested, respect her request!
--If a lady declines a chat request or, after you've communicated some, a phone call, ask whether another time would be better. This allows her to indicate whether she is not interested or simply not available at that time.
--Be thoughtful: if she has a cold, remember to wish her to feel better. If she's being considered for a promotion at work, ask whether you may pray for her and later ask how the meeting with her supervisor went.
--Never, ever pressure a lady into a phone call, giving her outside e-mail, a date, or a relationship faster than she is comfortable.

I listed these as they came to mind, so they're in no particular order. Ultimately, the key is to respect a lady's dignity.

Also of note, I appreciate advice from gentlemen if I request it, but a common characteristic among men (my father included!) is seeking to fix a touch situation a woman encounters when she really only wants a listening ear. Presenting a solution immediately can make women feel like they have not been heard.
Feb 24th 2014 new
(quote) Nicole-911816 said: Hi, William:

I appreciate initiation and leadership by a gentleman in a relationship, but I have also had experiences where being pursued was uncomfortable and even annoying (mostly off-line but a few online). From that perspective, some comments:

--Clearly state your intentions occasionally throughout the process and whether you have a timeframe in mind. Do not leave her guessing where you stand in regards to her.
--Offer genuine compliments that value her as a unique daughter of God. In other words, don't lay it on too thick so as not to be believeable and focus mostly on attributes that are not physical.
--Within a reasonable amount of time, read her ENTIRE profile and view all her photos, including captions. Don't bring up all your comments at once, but it's flattering when someone has taken the interest to read, say, my favorite music selections that I took the time to type up rather than just asking, "What's your favorite music?"
--Do not invite a lady on a date or seek to escalate the relationship in front of others. This can cause undo pressure and embarrassment.
--Do not assume a lady is agreeable to a committed relationship until you have that private discussion. Do not leave her wondering whether she's your girlfriend or just start introducing her as, "My girlfriend."
--If a lady asks for space or is not interested, respect her request!
--If a lady declines a chat request or, after you've communicated some, a phone call, ask whether another time would be better. This allows her to indicate whether she is not interested or simply not available at that time.
--Be thoughtful: if she has a cold, remember to wish her to feel better. If she's being considered for a promotion at work, ask whether you may pray for her and later ask how the meeting with her supervisor went.
--Never, ever pressure a lady into a phone call, giving her outside e-mail, a date, or a relationship faster than she is comfortable.

I listed these as they came to mind, so they're in no particular order. Ultimately, the key is to respect a lady's dignity.

Also of note, I appreciate advice from gentlemen if I request it, but a common characteristic among men (my father included!) is seeking to fix a touch situation a woman encounters when she really only wants a listening ear. Presenting a solution immediately can make women feel like they have not been heard.
Why wasn't I this wise at 28? Or, arguably, now?
Feb 24th 2014 new
Haha, thank you, Paul. I don't know that wisdom was the source of my recommendations so much as a couple prolonged difficult experiences involving guys (not gentlemen!) who could not take a hint--or even more than a hint!
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Roystan-340472 said: Well, you do live in ME, and aren't Yankees, even transplanted caliYankees, the paradigm that is New England thrift and self-propelled get-go?
My dear man!
We do not mention "Yankees" and "New England" in the same breath here, lest someone conclude that we are not rooting for the Red Sox, which is the quickest route to social oblivion. rolling eyes
Feb 25th 2014 new
baseball I'm talkin' baseball, son. Baseball, that is.
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Nicole-911816 said: Haha, thank you, Paul. I don't know that wisdom was the source of my recommendations so much as a couple prolonged difficult experiences involving guys (not gentlemen!) who could not take a hint--or even more than a hint!
I wish I could call you my daughter. hug

Paul, we're never too old to learn and it's true "Out of the mouths of babes or Out of the mouths oft time come gems".
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