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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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I made a decision back in my early teenage years that I would never have anything to do with the consumption of alcohol. Many things contributed to this decision, and to this day, I have held true to it.

I would say I have had quite the enjoyable life without it, although, it makes some things more difficult. I find it most difficult to find others that want to do anything that doesn't involve drinking. I hang out on occasion with work friends at the bars, but I find it only fun until everyone around me stops being themselves due to the effects of consumption, at which point I usually say goodnight and head for home.

To this day, I have found absolutely nobody that has made such a decision as I have. While I do have some friends that drink very casually, most of them are pretty bent on getting drunk at almost all social functions if possible.

So, this brings me to my question and reason for posting this topic. Is there anyone else on here that has made the decision to go against the societal norm of consuming alcohol? How do you deal with it friends wise and even dating wise?

Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said: I made a decision back in my early teenage years that I would never have anything to do with the consumption of alcohol. Many things contributed to this decision, and to this day, I have held true to it.

I would say I have had quite the enjoyable life without it, although, it makes some things more difficult. I find it most difficult to find others that want to do anything that doesn't involve drinking. I hang out on occasion with work friends at the bars, but I find it only fun until everyone around me stops being themselves due to the effects of consumption, at which point I usually say goodnight and head for home.

To this day, I have found absolutely nobody that has made such a decision as I have. While I do have some friends that drink very casually, most of them are pretty bent on getting drunk at almost all social functions if possible.

So, this brings me to my question and reason for posting this topic. Is there anyone else on here that has made the decision to go against the societal norm of consuming alcohol? How do you deal with it friends wise and even dating wise?

Chris,

Keep in mind that most people who drink to excess cannot stand to be in the presence of people who don't drink at all.

I drink rarely enough to be a practical teetotaler if not an official one, but I would hesitate about using this as a measurement by which to assess a member of the opposite sex. Drinking in and of itself is not sinful, and I think we should be more focused on the religious beliefs of potential spouses than on their social habits.

I hope this helps.

Feb 25th 2014 new
I didn't think Chris was asking whether it was important to date another teetotaller, but whether being one himself might affect how dates or potential dates perceived him. Chris?
My two cents' worth; a woman who is made seriously uncomfortable by a man who doesn't drink has some growing up to do.
Feb 25th 2014 new
Yes you are correct. While I do find it important to find someone that is responsible with their consumption of alcohol, I am not against being with someone that enjoys a drink from time to time. I desire a certain level of maturity for sure. So again yes, really this has to do with myself being judged and having a difficult time accepting this aspect of me. It makes it very difficult to find someone.
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said: I made a decision back in my early teenage years that I would never have anything to do with the consumption of alcohol. Many things contributed to this decision, and to this day, I have held true to it.

I would say I have had quite the enjoyable life without it, although, it makes some things more difficult. I find it most difficult to find others that want to do anything that doesn't involve drinking. I hang out on occasion with work friends at the bars, but I find it only fun until everyone around me stops being themselves due to the effects of consumption, at which point I usually say goodnight and head for home.

To this day, I have found absolutely nobody that has made such a decision as I have. While I do have some friends that drink very casually, most of them are pretty bent on getting drunk at almost all social functions if possible.

So, this brings me to my question and reason for posting this topic. Is there anyone else on here that has made the decision to go against the societal norm of consuming alcohol? How do you deal with it friends wise and even dating wise?

Chris,

I also made a decision a long time ago not to get involved with alcohol. I do have an occasional drink and once a month I attend a girls only Bunko night where there is a lot of drinking. I always bring a bottle of water or a soda with me. There is no drinking and driving as everyone makes arrangements before hand and on occasion I drive people home. No one gives me much of a hard time about it. They've tried ribbing me about it sometimes and I just shrug and grin and take a drink of water. When it starts to get to the point where I am getting uncomfortable I excuse myself and go home.

When I spent a month up in Canada for some trianing, I was housing with a large number of college age kiddos and we went out. I have never been more impressed with a bunch of young people in my life. Before we even left the house the designated driver was selected and that person was treated all night to sodas and food and had a great time. And, even though they drank fairly liberally none of them ended up falling down drunk or hung over the net day. Those were some of the most pleasant drinking events I have ever been a part of :-).

Kids here deliberately go out to get smashed. And, they state it -- they aren't going out to have a drink with friends, they are going out to get wasted, drunk or smashed. I think people can drink responsibly and I've learned over the years to relax a little about drinking. My dad was an alcoholic and I've known more than a few in my lifetime -- they make life very difficult for people. But, not everyone who drinks is a drunk.

I have never had too much trouble with people trying to force me to drink or giving me a hard time about it. And, if they have I tell them, that my dad had an issue, I know it can run in families and I have no desire to be an embarrassment to my friends or family or to myself -- finding out later that I did something really stupid or threw up all over somebody's apartment or wake up one morning and find I can't even start my day without a drink. Can't do it. Even Pete had been drinking more than I was comfortable with the last few years of his life.

Just know Chris there is absolutely nothing wrong with you for choosing not to drink. those around you have the right to choose to drink or not and you have the right to excuse yourself when their drinking has passed your comfort zone.
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said: I made a decision back in my early teenage years that I would never have anything to do with the consumption of alcohol. Many things contributed to this decision, and to this day, I have held true to it.

I would say I have had quite the enjoyable life without it, although, it makes some things more difficult. I find it most difficult to find others that want to do anything that doesn't involve drinking. I hang out on occasion with work friends at the bars, but I find it only fun until everyone around me stops being themselves due to the effects of consumption, at which point I usually say goodnight and head for home.

To this day, I have found absolutely nobody that has made such a decision as I have. While I do have some friends that drink very casually, most of them are pretty bent on getting drunk at almost all social functions if possible.

So, this brings me to my question and reason for posting this topic. Is there anyone else on here that has made the decision to go against the societal norm of consuming alcohol? How do you deal with it friends wise and even dating wise?

Chris, first of all that was a very mature intelligent decision on your part to do so (quit drinking) I commend you for doing it especially during your teen years (when because of peer pressure... or whatever it can be so difficult) I really commend you for your efforts. And let me say this: Those who are REAL friends will learn to respect/admire you for this choice... and others will move on. Sometimes it is necessary to find NEW friends who choose not to drink...or quit after one or two. For me, I drank from teen years through about age 34. I quit for 5 years. Then started again. At age 46 I quit again. This time I was DETERMINED to stop. I just woke up in late December of that year....and never looked back. Can't say it was easy....and I know I "fire-bombed" a few brain cells along the way (lol!) But I am at 16 years and counting. I don't know about you...but I pray and thank God everyday. Anyway, if I had it to do all over again....I would have probably done it just as you have. You are a fine man for doing so. A guy I know (who also woke up one day and quit) said, "It takes more of a man to STOP than it does to SHOW others you can drink" Keep up the good work. Tell you what, I'll pray for you....you pray for me! P.S. Gave you a "thumbs-up"
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said: I made a decision back in my early teenage years that I would never have anything to do with the consumption of alcohol. Many things contributed to this decision, and to this day, I have held true to it.

I would say I have had quite the enjoyable life without it, although, it makes some things more difficult. I find it most difficult to find others that want to do anything that doesn't involve drinking. I hang out on occasion with work friends at the bars, but I find it only fun until everyone around me stops being themselves due to the effects of consumption, at which point I usually say goodnight and head for home.

To this day, I have found absolutely nobody that has made such a decision as I have. While I do have some friends that drink very casually, most of them are pretty bent on getting drunk at almost all social functions if possible.

So, this brings me to my question and reason for posting this topic. Is there anyone else on here that has made the decision to go against the societal norm of consuming alcohol? How do you deal with it friends wise and even dating wise?

Hi Chris,

My total lifetime alcohol consumption, excluding medications, has been about 3 sips of champagne and maybe 1/4 glass of wine, so I guess I qualify.

In my case, there are many alcoholics in my family: having seen the damage it causes and given the potential for a genetic predisposition to the disease, I decided it wasn't worth it.

As for dating, my preference is women who do not consume alcohol at all; I doubt I would consider anyone who drinks more than a very limited amount on an infrequent basis. As William noted, alcohol consumption itself is not an inherent moral concern (although it can easily become one); however, there are a variety of practical considerations I'd rather avoid entirely.

Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Jerry-730726 said: Chris, first of all that was a very mature intelligent decision on your part to do so (quit drinking) I commend you for doing it especially during your teen years (when because of peer pressure... or whatever it can be so difficult) I really commend you for your efforts. And let me say this: Those who are REAL friends will learn to respect/admire you for this choice... and others will move on. Sometimes it is necessary to find NEW friends who choose not to drink...or quit after one or two. For me, I drank from teen years through about age 34. I quit for 5 years. Then started again. At age 46 I quit again. This time I was DETERMINED to stop. I just woke up in late December of that year....and never looked back. Can't say it was easy....and I know I "fire-bombed" a few brain cells along the way (lol!) But I am at 16 years and counting. I don't know about you...but I pray and thank God everyday. Anyway, if I had it to do all over again....I would have probably done it just as you have. You are a fine man for doing so. A guy I know (who also woke up one day and quit) said, "It takes more of a man to STOP than it does to SHOW others you can drink" Keep up the good work. Tell you what, I'll pray for you....you pray for me! P.S. Gave you a "thumbs-up"
Thank you for the kind words and I commend you as well for quitting and staying that way! I can only imagine how difficult that was. One of my reasons for never starting was seeing so many that couldn't quit! Best way to never have that problem is to never start I figured. Same philosophy I had to smoking, drugs and the like. Never start, never have to stop, never potentially hurt anyone because of it. Also, prayer for a prayer sounds like a deal to me!
Feb 25th 2014 new

I haven't had an alcoholic beverage for about fifteen years because I am strong meds and you can't mix it with alcohol. Never missed it. I don't hang around bars, pubs etc where folks are drinking though it is just too boring.

People don't think I am weird as far as I know unless they sneaking and pointing the finger behind my back. lol

Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said: Thank you for the kind words and I commend you as well for quitting and staying that way! I can only imagine how difficult that was. One of my reasons for never starting was seeing so many that couldn't quit! Best way to never have that problem is to never start I figured. Same philosophy I had to smoking, drugs and the like. Never start, never have to stop, never potentially hurt anyone because of it. Also, prayer for a prayer sounds like a deal to me!
An excellent philosophy!

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