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A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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AGE

AGE

Feb 26th 2014 new
It would appear that quite a few people on this site are preoccupied with age in choosing a wife or a husband.
I think we all need to step back and remember that people mature at different rates-
Some are quite wise and mature and responsible at 28 because of the life events that they experienced.
Perhaps we should make listing your age as optional on this web site.


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Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Celine-1048968 said: It would appear that quite a few people on this site are preoccupied with age in choosing a wife or a husband.
I think we all need to step back and remember that people mature at different rates-
Some are quite wise and mature and responsible at 28 because of the life events that they experienced.
Perhaps we should make listing your age as optional on this web site.


I would not want to correspond with a 28-year-old on any kind of romantic basis! Age is important information. At my own discretion I can expand my search range a little bit if I'm not getting the results I want, but I want to know ages.
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Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Celine-1048968 said: Perhaps we should make listing your age as optional on this web site.


I can hear the older cohort shouting "Yes!" in response and the younger set gasping in horror.
I'm afraid there's no getting around the fact that the superficial things do count enormously in determining our attraction to others and others' to us. I'm not even convinced that the two sexes differ much on this.
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Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Paul-1049651 said: I can hear the older cohort shouting "Yes!" in response and the younger set gasping in horror.
I'm afraid there's no getting around the fact that the superficial things do count enormously in determining our attraction to others and others' to us. I'm not even convinced that the two sexes differ much on this.
This member of the older cohort is shouting "No!" I can only imagine the embarrassment of accidentally flirting with a 28-year-old. Oh, the horror!
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Feb 26th 2014 new
I hardly think that age doesn't matter (though some of the men in their 50's that have contacted me certainly don't seem to think so).

It matters a lot!

I want children and I want a husband that will not only be able to take care of them, but will also be around for them. But I also don't want a younger guy that's still in college -- I'm past that. I'm also not here just to take care of an older man. Things that we have in common are probably going to be vastly different. Levels of physical activity might also change (though not necessarily, of course).

There's nothing superficial about those concerns.
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Feb 26th 2014 new
I really don't understand how making it optional would help the situation. You can kinda tell anyways by someone's photo and nevertheless, it is something that eventually i you would find out about. I have posted topics on this situation before. Older men seem interested in younger women due to the whole biological clock thing, but in turn, many younger women seem totally freaked out about the idea of dating a man more than 5 years or so older. It is what it is. Complain all you want.... not gonna change.
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Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Patrick-341178 said: I really don't understand how making it optional would help the situation. You can kinda tell anyways by someone's photo and nevertheless, it is something that eventually i you would find out about. I have posted topics on this situation before. Older men seem interested in younger women due to the whole biological clock thing, but in turn, many younger women seem totally freaked out about the idea of dating a man more than 5 years or so older. It is what it is. Complain all you want.... not gonna change.
But Patrick, not everyone even has a picture, so you would have to comb through their profile looking for clues. My search age range is 10 years older than me and 5 years younger, so I think that's pretty broad. I might even consider men a little outside this range. But I don't want any mystery ages.
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Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Amanda-930827 said: There's nothing superficial about those concerns.
Quite right, there isn't. Perhaps I should have said something like 'factors which people are accustomed to regard as superficial' -- looks, weight, height, even voice quality, and age (considered not from the point of view of the practical considerations you raise but just from the aesthetic point of view). Since all of these probably have an evolutionary basis it's not quite right to call them 'superficial', but compared to things like compatibility of values or even compatibility of senses of humour, they seem so. Superficially, they're superficial :)
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Feb 26th 2014 new
An age range of about five years is comfortable for most people. Some want older or younger. I guess it's not a matter of sin, just preference. I don't see why any kind of deception, such as not revealing age, would be a good idea on a site like this where honesty is so important.
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Feb 26th 2014 new
Age is important for the reasons already named. No woman wants to raise children alone because their "elderly" spouse passed away. No woman wants to be a "nurse" to an elderly spouse. Men are not nearly the efficient "planners" that women are; men live for the "here and now" (immediate gratification), thus they tend to be short sighted when considering their future demise.

All we can ask for is RESPECT from the other gender. Older men (and you know who you are), please respect younger women and do not contact them. They have asked for this courtesy, yet time and again their request is ignored (as Patrick pointed out). THAT is not respect.
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