Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

I was a caregiver for tw0 years -and married for 48 years- some of the grieving was already taking place during that time. The reactions -- physically, spiritually and emotionally, still hit hard after she was called home. I'm not sure what can help .They say It's something that people have to work through. We need to go through the process -- I'm trying go to mass twice a week and say a rosary every night for her.everybody says that things will get better in time.I'ts been 10 mos. I feel just as lonel as day 1..I think now I'm hooked on the drugs they have give me to help to cope...


Feb 28th 2014 new
(quote) Edward-1003564 said: I was a caregiver for tw0 years -and married for 48 years- some of the grieving was already taking place during that time. The reactions -- physically, spiritually and emotionally, still hit hard after she was called home. I'm not sure what can help .They say It's something that people have to work through. We need to go through the process -- I'm trying go to mass twice a week and say a rosary every night for her.everybody says that things will get better in time.I'ts been 10 mos. I feel just as lonel as day 1..I think now I'm hooked on the drugs they have give me to help to cope...


Sorry for your loss, Edward. It's true. Time will heal. It has been nine years for me and I no longer suffer the heartache I did the first several years of his passing. It is different for everyone. Do what you think is necessary for you to ease the pain. Since I had an 8 year old at that time, I had to be careful not to alter things around the house too much. Eventually I gave him a few mementos and started putting away reminders of my late husband. I went back to work as soon as possible as this helped me stay active and mentally at ease. Continue to pray for her and for yourself to gain strength and peace of mind. Try to ween yourself off the drugs and if need be, seek counsel. I'll say a prayer for both of you.theheart
Mar 1st 2014 new
Sorry about your loss Edward. hug I don't think you could put a time factor on this.You might even find yourself years after feeling a little loss but with less pain.I would suggest you let yourself grieve.It's better to Some suggestions would be to venture into something you really enjoy,take time to get out.pray hard ,exercise ,meet new people,get more involved while you are on CM, and stay connected to old friends are just some ways the dear Lord provides to help us through it all..
Mar 3rd 2014 new

hug
Ten months is a very fresh wound, especially when one has been married such a long time.

Several ears ago a CM man in your position posted a beautiful poem he wrote entitled "Without Her There Is No Me".

That's not quite right. Without her/him, there is no "we" -- but there IS a me, and you must uncover who he is. He's not the unmarried 21-year-old you. He's not the 35-year-old you. He's not even the 70-year-old you. He is someone new whom you have to get to know, because all these years your focus has been on "us" and "her".

Start working on figuring out who you are now. In my experience, that's what makes it get better -- and once you know who you are now, you are ready for a new relationship, if you want one.

Wishing you all the best. :rose

May 24th new
Edward,
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Ten months is a very fresh wound although I do understand you were grieving before she died.
I remember saying that when my husband died I lost 50% of myself. We were very close.
I continue to think of him frequently and know we will have eternity together.
It has been 7 years and I have my strength and balance back. I am a whole person again with wisdom, energy and enjoying life. It takes whatever time it takes. There are no short cuts. You will find little things that help you. Push yourself to go out to dinner with friends, family when the opportunity comes up. Reading the bible every night before I went to bed helped me a lot and I read the New Testament beginning to end more than once. It is full of love and compassion. Daily mass did not help me although I thought it would.
When you feel whole again and have found the "new" you is the time to consider dating again if you want to.
I truly wish you the very best.
Bernie
May 27th new
(quote) Edward-1003564 said: I was a caregiver for tw0 years -and married for 48 years- some of the grieving was already taking place during that time. The reactions -- physically, spiritually and emotionally, still hit hard after she was called home. I'm not sure what can help .They say It's something that people have to work through. We need to go through the process -- I'm trying go to mass twice a week and say a rosary every night for her.everybody says that things will get better in time.I'ts been 10 mos. I feel just as lonel as day 1..I think now I'm hooked on the drugs they have give me to help to cope...


Hi Edward,
I am so sorry for your loss. I am nine months out over the sudden loss of my husband. One of my CM friends offered a book that I have been reading "Second Firsts" by Christina Rasmussen. The book, along with prayer, talking to people and staying active have helped me to cope. Know that you are richly blessed and abundantly loved by a God with a plan for you. His plan is perfect even if you can't see that right now. Don't ever stop thinking about her, just allow your heart the time it needs to heal and grow and make room for whatever God has planned for you.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Blessings,
Brenda-Lea



May 28th new
(quote) Edward-1003564 said:  I feel just as lonel as day 1..I think now I'm hooked on the drugs they have give me to help to cope...


How about Beginning Experience weekend? The weekend helps you move through the grief process and I found it very healing! http://www.beginningexperience.org and you are surrounded by folks who have had their marriages end. Tacoma has an active group.
Also the recommended book- Second Firsts is GREAT!!

Posts 1 - 7 of 7