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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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Mar 4th 2014 new
Hi everyone!

I was wondering, how much of a chance do you think a relationship between two people who due to different circumstances ( army, school or a sick relative that needs to be taken care of and so on..) cannot live in the same place for some time?
What basic elements would this relationship need in order to bloom into something wonderful when they can be together?

I've read several articles that completely dismiss a long distance relationship stemming from dating sites. But still..this is a Catholic dating site as opposed to a site like eharmony. People come here (CM), I assume, to meet someone based on their religion/believe/faith in God. I could be wrong, but Christians do frequently say that "with God anything is possible", so why can't this type of relationship exist/ be possible?

I look forward to your thoughts on this matter wink
Mar 4th 2014 new
A friend of mine raised what I thought was an insightful objection to long-distance relationships (LDRs): Even well-intentioned people begin by presenting their 'social faces' to each other. Unless you spend serious time together, you're not going to get past that stage very easily -- you're doling out bite-size pieces of yourself to someone else, who is doing the same with you. it's not a question of conscious dishonesty. And perhaps you will only get that serious time together once one person has pulled up his or her roots and moved to be near the other.
Mar 4th 2014 new
(quote) Paul-1049651 said: A friend of mine raised what I thought was an insightful objection to long-distance relationships (LDRs): Even well-intentioned people begin by presenting their 'social faces' to each other. Unless you spend serious time together, you're not going to get past that stage very easily -- you're doling out bite-size pieces of yourself to someone else, who is doing the same with you. it's not a question of conscious dishonesty. And perhaps you will only get that serious time together once one person has pulled up his or her roots and moved to be near the other.
Paul I suppose that has some credibility...but there are MANY cases right here on CM where LDR's did work out....and eventually into marriage. Our moderator Donna (Is she still?) is living proof of a successful LDR and marriage. She used to keep a list...and I'm sure it is still here somewhere with TONS of LDR marriages. In fact, I think perhaps there were more than local ones. Guess it involves some sacrifice....and has to be for the right people...but it can and does work. Just my 2 cents~
Mar 4th 2014 new
(quote) Jerry-730726 said: Paul I suppose that has some credibility...but there are MANY cases right here on CM where LDR's did work out....and eventually into marriage. Our moderator Donna (Is she still?) is living proof of a successful LDR and marriage. She used to keep a list...and I'm sure it is still here somewhere with TONS of LDR marriages. In fact, I think perhaps there were more than local ones. Guess it involves some sacrifice....and has to be for the right people...but it can and does work. Just my 2 cents~
Yes, I should have been clearer, I was simply noting a risk, not suggesting that the risk is never worth taking or that it never works out happily.
Mar 4th 2014 new
Paul so basically if you don't have a huge batch of possible matches / candidates living near you, you've wasted money by subscribing to CM??
Mar 4th 2014 new
(quote) Trudy-1031544 said: Paul so basically if you don't have a huge batch of possible matches / candidates living near you, you've wasted money by subscribing to CM??
Yikes! please see my last post above. I didn' t mean to be anywhere as negative as that...
Mar 4th 2014 new
(quote) Trudy-1031544 said: Hi everyone!

I was wondering, how much of a chance do you think a relationship between two people who due to different circumstances ( army, school or a sick relative that needs to be taken care of and so on..) cannot live in the same place for some time?
What basic elements would this relationship need in order to bloom into something wonderful when they can be together?

I've read several articles that completely dismiss a long distance relationship stemming from dating sites. But still..this is a Catholic dating site as opposed to a site like eharmony. People come here (CM), I assume, to meet someone based on their religion/believe/faith in God. I could be wrong, but Christians do frequently say that "with God anything is possible", so why can't this type of relationship exist/ be possible?

I look forward to your thoughts on this matter
Long distance relationships can work, but they are extremely difficult. About 10 years ago, i tried dating someone who lived about a 1000 miles away and we had a good connection.We ended up meeting once, but the realities of the distance I think inevitably made it too difficult. But of there is will, there is a way. I live in fairly densely populated area is I tend to search within 150 to 200 miles, but for others, long distance may be the best option.
Mar 4th 2014 new
Ok understood Paul.
Mar 4th 2014 new
Do you think that maybe we have a prejudice against LDR's or that subconsciously
we consider it somewhat daunting?
Mar 4th 2014 new
(quote) Trudy-1031544 said: Do you think that maybe we have a prejudice against LDR's or that subconsciously
we consider it somewhat daunting?
I would say absolutely. Relationships are hard enough to make work without the added expense of long trips and the heartache of being too far away from someone you care about to see them face to face on a regular basis. BUT.... God knows who He's chosen for us. What if that person is hundreds of miles away at the moment? If God wants it to happen, then it's possible. My brother and his wife were about 1000 miles apart, not Catholic either, but they've been together for 13 years and have 3 kids together now. If the guy/girl is worth it, don't give up just because it's difficult or painful. Just my 2 cents... God bless!
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