Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match!

A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
Learn More: Saint Rita

Mar 6th 2014 new
It is hard to give advice without knowing the particulars of the situation.

What was the basis for the court granting you primary custody/residency?
What was the basis (rationale) for his requested custody/residency change?
Does the dad think something inappropriate is happening with his daughter?
Does he live out of state?
Did either of you move? (If so, who moved away?)
Does the dad have joint custody? What is the split?
Does the dad think you are a bad mother? (On what basis?)
Is he paying child support?
What does his wife think of all this?
Are the siblings her half siblings?
How is the father "trying to poison her mind" against you?
How does your support network compare to his?

The fact that the phone call involved a speaker phone with him in the room suggests that he is both manipulative and lacks confidence in his position. Or it may be just a really weird coincidence.

It may be important to understand what is influencing your daughter's thinking. (Is her dad trying to buy her affections? Is her dad bad-mouthing you? Is he located closer to her friends/school/etc.?)


A good lawyer

Offer a safe place for your daughter
-> try and protect her from any tension that occurs between you and her dad
-> DO NOT bad mouth her dad in front of her
-> DO NOT force her to choose between the two of you
-> family counseling will help her voice her thinking

Can you find out what is motivating your daughter here, without forcing the issue?

You don't want a situation wherein you win this battle but lose her heart. If she feels she is being unjustly dealt with, she'll split at 13 (TX rules?) and not look back.

In the meantime, prayers for everyone involved. Praying
Mar 8th 2014 new

I agree with Jack's advice. It seems he's given you solid lawyerly advice.

I am not an attorney just a devoted father. Even though you have suffered through what seems like a painful divorce keep in mind so has her dad. I went through it myself. I don't know how old your daughter was when you divorced but maybe you need to consider if you believe that he has been a loving father or not. Have you ever felt that he does not care about her like you do? Or is he doing this just to tick you off.

As a devoted father, I try to give every dad the benefit of the doubt unless I learn otherwise, Good, Christian and loving dads should not have to pay for the crappy ones. It makes us look bad and the courts generally label that as Stereotyping. And I really resent that. Believe it or not there are fathers who are crazy about their kids (watch Robin Williams in Mrs Doubtfire). Nevertheless of course there are very loving mother out there as well just are there are not so good mothers. There was a recent news story where a mom tried to drown her kids by driving her car into the ocean. No one is perfect and anyone can make mistakes. In God's eyes no one has the right to stereotype or judge (not even a judge). But unfortunately the Big Guy himself doesn't really interfere with the secular legal system. Although I was pleasantly surprised when the court ruled in my favor in a hearing last year, I still felt it should not have come to that; I was nervous as heck. However more often than not the court (law of the land) rules against daddy.

We all make mistakes so maybe you just have to be patient and see how it all plays out. Insulting that dad is bad form (although I so understand how easy it can happen). There have been times where I have gotten into heated discussion with my ex. I think I have gotten better. And maybe I think I am better because some aspects of my life are getting better as well like with my career and I am starting to date again. Maybe you may need to focus on other things in your life that you feel needs attention. So even though it comes naturally to lose it with him and sometimes you can't help yourself but you need to try hard for your child. She is the most important part of the equation. Finding some new adventure or purpose in life can ease the tension.

I hope that sharing some perspective from a single dad's side helps. I can't live without my little girl and maybe your ex feels the same way and this may not be about you.

Good luck and God bless.

Posts 21 - 22 of 22