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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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What a man truly wants?

Mar 8th 2014 new

Hey everyone,

Check it out and see what you think. I agree a lot with Dr. Helen Smith

www.youtube.com

I pretty much know and expect to take flack for this, but I have to put this out there. My only intention is to put forth a sobering message.

Mar 9th 2014 new
I don't believe she is talking about a genuine Christian/Catholic marriage.
Mar 9th 2014 new
(quote) Zoe-337980 said: I don't believe she is talking about a genuine Christian/Catholic marriage.
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Of cours enot. Did you LISTEN to her? She's talking about how the laws and cultural institutions of this country are designed to be hostile to men and to penalize men. She's spot on. This isn't a comment on the goodness of marriage, she's talking about the strong disincentives against marriage which our society has place for men. They are fundamentally unfair and men are right to think twice about marriage because of them.
Mar 9th 2014 new
(quote) David-820720 said:

Hey everyone,

Check it out and see what you think. I agree a lot with Dr. Helen Smith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D33L4zxjpH0

I pretty much know and expect to take flack for this, but I have to put this out there. My only intention is to put forth a sobering message.

Hmmmmm,

Dr. Helen, I always laughing when they show the statistics and percentages on research. What did they get every man and woman on the face of the planet to prove these statistics? You wouldn't have a lifetime to debate research among men and women and the divorces, why they occurred, etc.

This woman (Dr. Helen) is stating that society or our culture is treating men like trash, telling men they are no good, etc. Woooo, let's back up. When playboy first came out, what did that magazine take away from women? Her virtue, her spirituality. I'm not debating men over women or visa versa, but come on, this woman is trying to sell her book and profit from something that is very negative. Though I understand to a certain degree where she's coming from, let's also include "both glass slippers" and not point the fingers and men and women.

blessings,
sharon
Mar 9th 2014 new
(quote) David-364112 said: .
Of cours enot. Did you LISTEN to her? She's talking about how the laws and cultural institutions of this country are designed to be hostile to men and to penalize men. She's spot on. This isn't a comment on the goodness of marriage, she's talking about the strong disincentives against marriage which our society has place for men. They are fundamentally unfair and men are right to think twice about marriage because of them.

Precisely David. She is right on the mark.

So, who is out there trying to fix the legislation?

Mar 9th 2014 new

Hi Sharon,

I didn't intend for this to be a discussion about men over women and vise versa either. I saw this video and wanted to post it. Many men are scared of marriage not because they are commitment-phobes, but because they view marriage in this society as a raw deal. As it is men have more of the task of initiating a relationship and, if all goes well, the marriage proposal. Thus they bear more risk of being rejected. Women on the other hand don't have that burden and the cost of divorce is very much in the woman's favor in this society.

Moreover, if the man make it that far--if he successfully puts himself out there as THE partner to marry, he has to prove over and over again that he is worth it while in the marriage. As it is the view of men and of masculinity in his culture has been, well, emasculated. What men have to look forward to is being looked at as a potential Peter Griffin and/or Homer Simpson--just a dumb oaf who shares the shelter. The only most recent example in culture that depicts fatherhood in a good light is Brad Pitt's character on World War Z, where he is decisive, intelligent, and tries to balance his mission in the movie with trying to save his family as well. I do understand that there are many men out there who are not good fathers, but I see many more men who are objectified (including yours truly) both on this web site and off as not much more than an appliance. Furthermore I'm a therapist who works with many men who feel the same way.

And to respond to your comment regarding Playboy; many women volunteer themselves and get paid to get pornographic photos and films every year. Not to mention going to strip clubs where they are in a unique position an object to be looked at and at the same time be in control of the men who come to see her (of their own free will)--lest the bouncer (himself a burly male) throw them out. Indeed I have clients who are strippers and prostitutes who believe that this is the only control they have over a man...but this is a different discussion I'd be willing to have in another thread.

I hope I didn't offend in any of this reply.

David

Mar 9th 2014 new
No one. And that's the problem.
Mar 9th 2014 new
I agree with what the article is saying. I have a father, brother, uncles, cousins and nephews (as I'm sure most of us do). With the way legislation and our society is right now, if I wasn't Catholic I wouldn't want them to marry because it seems the decks are stacked against them. I have seen women in my family loose out because of the way things are, too, but for the most part men do seem to be prejudiced against, kinda like the Church is. So, what are we Catholic women to do about this situation? Can we help change legislation? ...I don't know... any ideas?
Mar 9th 2014 new
I won't get into detail here, but all the women (no exaggeration) that I know, have had to pay alimony to the men. Or the men have hidden money and the judge never ordered proof that the men were lying. And there were children involved in each case. Therefore the women have gone on assistance or worked two jobs, just to get barely by. Course we are in Illinois after all. Okay let m have it. hug
Mar 9th 2014 new
Awww... that's terrible :(. I know both men and women who are dealing with that. Sorry that's what you're dealing with :(. Sensitive subject.
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