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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

A friend just led me to this article, and I'd like to hear what others here think about it.

www.philosophersmail.com

Mar 20th 2014 new
Is there a difference between microcompatibility and macrocompatibility, between a symmetry of characteristics and a symmetry of purpose?
Mar 20th 2014 new
Barbara

That is an interesting article. I think there is some truth to it. Some of the problems they brought up could happen if you are totally focused on compatibility but I think of it as just food for thought, something to keep in mind while searching. There are so many other factors.

Are we really looking for someone totally compatible or someone who has some things in common with us?

Sandra
Mar 21st 2014 new

The last line about compatibility NOT being a precursor to a love relationship but an achievement really makes a lot of sense. There is a sentence about compatibility and the ability to adapt to the other's tastes is, to me, what compatibility entails. That is what a good marriage is about. No one is ever going to agree one hundred per cent about the other's views, tastes, etc but one needs to have the ability to adapt to the other sense of life. If there is too much agreement, then where lies the interest?

However, to me, if a person's answers on the faith questions (for a long term relationship) indicate values that are non-negotiable.

Mar 21st 2014 new
(quote) Karen-814518 said:

The last line about compatibility NOT being a precursor to a love relationship but an achievement really makes a lot of sense. There is a sentence about compatibility and the ability to adapt to the other's tastes is, to me, what compatibility entails. That is what a good marriage is about. No one is ever going to agree one hundred per cent about the other's views, tastes, etc but one needs to have the ability to adapt to the other sense of life. If there is too much agreement, then where lies the interest?

However, to me, if a person's answers on the faith questions (for a long term relationship) indicate values that are non-negotiable.

I think the article does have good points. Again, I say, how did this get so complicated? Previous generations didn't analyze like this. They married and stuck to it. Perhaps we analyze now due to fear we will 'get burned' again? So, perhaps then the solution is not so much compatibility but rather two people who regularly utilize Confession and Holy Communion and work to be the holiest they can be. I should think that would make for a compatible couple...
Mar 21st 2014 new
Loved this article. It probably should be required reading.

I wonder if perhaps having been in a successful marriage previously gives one a better perspective on this? I don't look to share the exact same tastes as my husband and I'm prepared to respect his interests and at the same time pursue my own.
Mar 21st 2014 new
I would think having someone exactly like me, with only my interests, would be stagnating. It's shared experiences, getting out of our comfort zone, being open to new idea and new challenges that add excitement and growth to a relationship. It's maturity that helps you work through the differences of opinion and a willingness to let the other person have their way at times that keeps people together long term. The article makes sense. Compatibility is good for getting to know a person initially, but it isn't what dreams are made of!
Mar 21st 2014 new
Maybe what we need is the person we can stand being bored with. Life is not all excitement and adventure. There is a lot of mundane thrown in there, too.
Mar 21st 2014 new
(quote) Susan-1048377 said: Loved this article. It probably should be required reading.

I wonder if perhaps having been in a successful marriage previously gives one a better perspective on this? I don't look to share the exact same tastes as my husband and I'm prepared to respect his interests and at the same time pursue my own.
I also think that with this online option, which is great, it can be tempting to 'go down the list'. "Hmmm, let's see....I would like this and this and this and this and might as well ask for this too."

If we were doing this the old way, we first meet at a town dance or a church social.."He is good looking, she is pretty...gosh, interesting conversation...there is something about him/her that intrigues me." However, here we are with our spreadsheets ready to think this thing through. It is really unusual and, never before in history, unless perhaps the mail order brides, has finding a partner been handled in this way...Ugh! (Yes, I can, cook, clean and garden...any other questions?? wide eyed ) Well, we aren't items in a Sears catalog and, yes, to not approach first dates that way might be a good idea; after all the man/lady at the ice cream social would not have received a questionaire/interrogation duck before we went out on a date.

Now to shoot down what I just stated, we have to be careful these days. Polite society does not have a standard code of behavior as it perhaps did in the past. A lot of us have had significant trauma to our lives. I guess that is a nice way to put it. We trusted and it fell apart and some of us still wonder how it can be. So, NOW, we bring out our forms and questions and our homebrewed psychological evaluations so we can triumph over this disaster and get life back on course. I get it but, it is very disconcerting so, I am back to 'square one'. Profile, fora, and lots and lots of prayers biggrin We live in unique times is all I can finally say...



Mar 21st 2014 new
(quote) Meg-920823 said: I also think that with this online option, which is great, it can be tempting to 'go down the list'.



Meg, I agree so much with your post!

How is it that when we were in our teens we could have a relatively small pool of males, in a classroom or at church or whatever...and still we could all manage to pick out one to be a potential sweetie?

And now here we are in a "gigantic online husband store" so to speak...and we just can't choose! After all, maybe tomorrow a better one will go on sale! I'm joking, of course, but I think this mentality is common among people of both sexes.

laughing
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