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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

I'm pretty sure I've wasted my money on this website. Because I thought this was a dating site, not a "let's make long distance friends and pray the rosary together" site. Nobody even looks at my profile, maybe 2 views or so a week. I get maybe 1 "message" a week (usually an interview response). I send out about 20 messages (or personalized emotes) a week and get a return rate of just about 0% Is there a problem here??? I thought we were all here TRYING to find someone to be with, open to a casual "hello" or a compliment; instead I get the feeling most people on here are content with passively bumping into each other like cavemen until they either get in a relationship or let their account die. I turn 29 in 5months, and I have been on this website for 9 YEARS with a grand whopping total of 2 dates coming from it! I am running out of men to message, I keep seeing the same ones over and over in my search and match results, and have messaged nearly all them with whom I felt we'd be compatible.

I have plenty of photos, each information section filled out, but not too chatty, an interview, temperament test, been active in forums, etc etc. I'm not even looking for tons of random guys to message me, but if I'm sending out 20 new messages a week (and one of the first things I look at IS if they have been online recently) and only get 2 or 3 views a week, I'm just left like-- what what what??

It is beginning to feel like a small and unfocused community, not interested in dating whatsoever, to me...

Mar 24th 2014 new
(quote) Mary-583970 said:

...I thought this was a dating site, not a "let's make long distance friends and pray the rosary together" site. ...

Might it possibly be both ?
Mar 24th 2014 new

It could be both. I don't mind making friends, and I have made a couple here, but it's not the objective of a dating site. Plus: since I don't pray the rosary, it's not exactly something I am looking to bond over, explicitly, and that seems to be a major player in a lot of things: group get togethers, interview questions, polls, "what's your favorite station?" etc. (I don't pray the rosary because I am Eastern Catholic- it's not part of our tradition/we are not encouraged to adopt this form of worship). It just seems to me that most people want to pretend we are -not- here looking for the spouse for whom we have (assumingly) been praying. I renewed my subscription in February for a year, and by the time it ends I will have been here 10 years boggled

Mar 24th 2014 new
I haven't had a date yet from this site--but in all fairness I haven't been here long. My messaging has lead to a few nice conversations with men (all have faded out by now). I get maybe one view a week... no messages though or replies to my messages. I spent a lot of time my first week here reading all the profiles of men and messaging. I may have been too selective with who I messaged (for example, if I read a man's profile and read something like he wanted to start a family--I skipped him because, while it's still biologically possible for me, I just assumed he wanted someone younger). But I still messaged a LOT of men and it didn't lead to anything more than a short conversation with a few of them. I have no one left to message other than new members. So I focus there now and try to have hope.

We live in the same area of the country--Metro DC. This place is notoriously hard for dating and I think I, by looking specifically for Catholic men, might be limiting my prospective dating pool too much. As much as I would like to meet a good, Catholic man. I might just expand my search to include others. I'll still stay here, but maybe also look elsewhere. Maybe it's not the same for you (you are younger than me and the demographics of your age group might be different than mine). But it could be a good strategy to consider.

In any case, I wish you the best in your search!


Mar 24th 2014 new
I've been here since CM started.It may be that the one God has in mind for you just hasn't joined yet! wink
Mar 24th 2014 new
(quote) Bernard-2709 said: I've been here since CM started.It may be that the one God has in mind for you just hasn't joined yet!
Very good point!
Mar 24th 2014 new

I'm not opposed to marrying a non-Catholic- My mother is Episcopalian afterall. Outside of another Eastern Catholic, I would probably relate most to an Eastern Orthodox, but I respect their views too much to make them agree to my terms. Someone who is very strong in their faith is appealing to me, and I would have to find someone who is not a firm believer to make it work (ie, if I married a practicing Orthodox, we would both be commanded to raise our children in our differing religions..) so...I'm not sure.

Sounds like you and I are mostly in the same boat. I am younger maybe, but not "too young" - all my mom's friends stopped telling me "you're still young and have the whole world ahead of you!" about 3 years ago...I've been on here so long, and looking in the real world everywhere, every moment, for so many years, that I am starting to burn out..maybe we both just need a cruise, that would help for a little while! Thanks for your reply, hope things pick up for you!

Mar 24th 2014 new
(quote) Mary-583970 said:

I'm pretty sure I've wasted my money on this website. Because I thought this was a dating site, not a "let's make long distance friends and pray the rosary together" site. Nobody even looks at my profile, maybe 2 views or so a week. I get maybe 1 "message" a week (usually an interview response). I send out about 20 messages (or personalized emotes) a week and get a return rate of just about 0% Is there a problem here??? I thought we were all here TRYING to find someone to be with, open to a casual "hello" or a compliment; instead I get the feeling most people on here are content with passively bumping into each other like cavemen until they either get in a relationship or let their account die. I turn 29 in 5months, and I have been on this website for 9 YEARS with a grand whopping total of 2 dates coming from it! I am running out of men to message, I keep seeing the same ones over and over in my search and match results, and have messaged nearly all them with whom I felt we'd be compatible.

I have plenty of photos, each information section filled out, but not too chatty, an interview, temperament test, been active in forums, etc etc. I'm not even looking for tons of random guys to message me, but if I'm sending out 20 new messages a week (and one of the first things I look at IS if they have been online recently) and only get 2 or 3 views a week, I'm just left like-- what what what??

It is beginning to feel like a small and unfocused community, not interested in dating whatsoever, to me...

HI Mary,

I hear ya and I feel ya :-). One of the first people I was matched with, I contacted and we exchanged some emails, chatted for a bit, then nothing at all. Not a yep I'm okay, all is well, nothing. But, he said something in response to my comment of not being exactly sure why I was here (I had only been widowed for about nine months when I signed up and wasn't really sure I was ready). And, he said, well, you are probably here for the same reason most of us are, it makes us feel like we are doing something about our singleness.

I think perhaps that is part of it. But, then nothing occurs here lol. . . and the return rate I think is pretty slim compared with the number of members on the site. It was bugging me some, but I finally decided to just participate in the forums and engage a few people as they come along. And, see what happens -- which is generally some nice friendships both male and female.

I'm trying to decide now whether to renew or not at the end of this month.
Mar 24th 2014 new
Hi Mary.

Potentially yes but in practice no from my experience so far. Well I am greatly impressed by your profile and wouldn't hesitate for a second to go out with you if you liked me but unfortunately I'm old enough to be your dad! There is nothing wrong with you at all and I can assure you after being on here a few weeks I am in the same boat with respect to my age group. That goes for match dot com and Christian Mingle as well. Most people do not reply even after they send a wink or a like photo if you write back and I have had a few rejections, even 1 block after politely telling them I was interested in the sense that we initially had things in common. I'm not concerned really since I have non intimate lady friends in the macro world from 20 - 75 who I go for coffees, a few beer, theatre et al off and on.

After seeing your post though I think a lot of us will not feel that bad. I feel thus far though that some people are just too demanding and have unrealistic expectations. The attitudes are enough to scare the ravens off the trees and I must say that I never experienced this in live social settings. I would add it could be they jumped into this but do not have the backbone to take a risk and talk. Now I just wanted to let you know, so as not to be a hypocrite that there have been some likes to which I did not respond but its because I would rather see a in initial note even if it just says how are you? Finally I do suggest you carry on here and you may well meet the right person. Lol, I'm well over 500 people on these sites but my next date will be with one of my late wife's friends at theatre dinner next week!

All the best,

Michael



Mar 24th 2014 new

Well why hasn't he?!? Fool better get with the program before Feb 2015! irked

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