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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

How to start over?

Mar 24th 2014 new
Hello all, I am new in this site, and this is my first post =).
I have been divorced for 12 years, and now that my daughter is 14, she moved in with her dad. I am in the middle of my feelings, and I never stop praying for her. But now I wonder, what is next? I feel kind of quilty just to think to start over, I havent date for a long time, and I dont know how to start, but I realy realy wish to find someone to start a new chapter of my life, but i dont know how.
When I got married the first time I didnt know God. Now is different, I have found him, and I have hope and I wish and pray to live the rest of my life in Gods will. Does anyone here have been in the same situation?
Mar 24th 2014 new
Welcome to the forums! Step number one: Pray, "Lord direct my feet."
Mar 30th 2014 new

Alejandra,

I'll share what worked for me, and I hope in just responding, I'll give you further encouragement.

RE: Children. Yes, they get a choice in where to live. And I respect that. I just pray that this apartment is a place of peace, where they can share their feelings without being challenged, where prayer at least once at night to tune into God is expected (whether they participate or not), and a place they can 'just be themselves' or hang out. We can't push as hard on faith and morals, and their other parent may not reinforce the values we want to instill. But we can still expect some chores to be done, and teach them life skills (cooking together, shopping together, ...) And we can ask them questions about why they choose what they do, and share what God's Word says about it, positive or negative. That way they won't think it is you, if the news is negative. I shifted from more 'telling' to more just waiting for the right moments in visits. Case in point: With Prom right around the corner, I was honored to be asked to look for Prom dresses with my 17 yr old. It gave me a time to share about modesty, and its importance, and share what it looks like from a man's perspective of a lady not well clothed, and would she want that. Asking them, would you like my advise or perspective? And really listening more too. In the end, They just want to be loved. I give them a hug and blessing each night.

The past: Whatever mistakes, or poor roads traveled, they are past. If need be, confession. Then look up. I like to ask God in the morning: Today is a white canvas, what are we going to paint on it today? And I ask what I might face and to be sensitive to others. And I find God sends people at random.

The future: my motto is 'the whole world changes in 24 hrs'. it's OK to plan, wish, dream. But life can change so-o-o fast: Gall bladder trouble and surgery, and a year to recover. Never thought I'd travel much, and last summer, since I let some daughters do all the planning and I just paid the bill, I had the most pleasant trip to Glacier National Park with all its majestic beauty. Suddenly one son gets a job with his brother, and is moving in 3 weeks, and he hasn't finished his trailer home, so I'm building with him every day I can now. One day the marriage is the best in the world, and now its finished, legally and spiritually. The bottom line: I expect change, and to be open to what God has in store, both the cross and the resurrections, each day.

The present: I give thanks and try to recall all the good things God has done for me many nights, even if it was just the energy to get through the day. Pretty sunsets; the stranger at work that smiled and actually noticed me and said Hi; the car not breaking down; employment. And I try to offer the challenges of the day up for those who have difficult crosses, like the divorced, widowed, or children without parents. Then things don't look so bad, and my suffering has helped someone.

Sorry for the long story. Hope it helps.

You just asking the question how to start over, implies you are ready to move forward. And that is a big step itself.

Michael



Apr 4th 2014 new
Michael,
thank you very much for sharing.
I realy trust that God is going to take me to the other side of the bridge. As a human is always difficult to stay strong and not let the world to pull us into sad thoughts and sad feelings. Your words helped me to realiced that there are a lot of "us" in the same trip. I liked very much your thoughts about offering your challenges in life, I feel the same, and I always offer my sufer for my daughter. And I know somehow, somewhere, God will do his "work" to her, and will lead her in his will.
Than you very much for your time and dedication of your note.
Apr 4th 2014 new
(quote) Alejandra-1064855 said: Hello all, I am new in this site, and this is my first post =).
I have been divorced for 12 years, and now that my daughter is 14, she moved in with her dad. I am in the middle of my feelings, and I never stop praying for her. But now I wonder, what is next? I feel kind of quilty just to think to start over, I havent date for a long time, and I dont know how to start, but I realy realy wish to find someone to start a new chapter of my life, but i dont know how.
When I got married the first time I didnt know God. Now is different, I have found him, and I have hope and I wish and pray to live the rest of my life in Gods will. Does anyone here have been in the same situation?
Hi Alejandra,I have been single for 17 years since my seperation,divorce,and finally the annulment.It's been a long road.On the other hand,in retrospect,it seems really fast! Like life is once you reach a certain age.Catholic Match is one of the best places to meet someone,besides your own local Parish maybe.You have to be patient,pray and trust God.Keep posting in the Forums.Don't expect it to happen overnight.Enjoy making friendships here and take your time. wave Welcome to Catholic Match!
Apr 5th 2014 new
(quote) Alejandra-1064855 said: Hello all, I am new in this site, and this is my first post =).
I have been divorced for 12 years, and now that my daughter is 14, she moved in with her dad. I am in the middle of my feelings, and I never stop praying for her. But now I wonder, what is next? I feel kind of quilty just to think to start over, I havent date for a long time, and I dont know how to start, but I realy realy wish to find someone to start a new chapter of my life, but i dont know how.
When I got married the first time I didnt know God. Now is different, I have found him, and I have hope and I wish and pray to live the rest of my life in Gods will. Does anyone here have been in the same situation?
Welcome to the Forums, Alejandra!

I have been divorced since the early 90's. I do not have children. I can only say let go and trust the Lord will lead you.
Apr 5th 2014 new
(quote) Alejandra-1064855 said: Hello all, I am new in this site, and this is my first post =).
I have been divorced for 12 years, and now that my daughter is 14, she moved in with her dad. I am in the middle of my feelings, and I never stop praying for her. But now I wonder, what is next? I feel kind of quilty just to think to start over, I havent date for a long time, and I dont know how to start, but I realy realy wish to find someone to start a new chapter of my life, but i dont know how.
When I got married the first time I didnt know God. Now is different, I have found him, and I have hope and I wish and pray to live the rest of my life in Gods will. Does anyone here have been in the same situation?
Welcome to the Forums, Alejandra!

I have been divorced since the early 90's. I do not have children. I can only say let go and trust the Lord will lead you.
Apr 5th 2014 new
Hi there Alex

I have been divorced scince 1990 and been here on and off for about 8 years. The forums are a great place to met new friends, even lady friends, I try and avoid anything controversial though. Best wishes in your search for new adventure.
May 25th new
Welcome and move on, life is good and is better when we give room to God to guide our decisions of our of live. I think when we don't know God, everything we had done was nonsense. And everything it was for a reason that the experience of being married is there, so that we come to realize that our choices are important, because it does transfer our lives in many ways.
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