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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Just as with many in getting a personal life off the ground ,I have the same problem in my area but between small parishes and very few singles in my area there is no way for any groups to exist. However during the early 90s I joined one at a big parish in Austin what was absolutely great and it really turned my life around ! It was about a 280 mile round trip and I went as often as I could but as time passed things started to change drastically but not living there, how little I realized what was happening when a new person took over running it who was a man of charm that won him favor with a sort of big brother image among many of the younger women who became the new officers and didnt know me but also trusting his judgment were satisfied to let him have the final say what created a sort of social monopoly and depending how he liked you, he could be a good asset or just as detrimental to your personal life.

At the end he told me that he never approved of me being in the group and felt I should stick to my own parish but also was very much against long distance relationships and numb with shock the pieces started to come together why he started sending me my calendar mid month and was making things as hard as possible, I started to get some rather unpleasant ones from the women officers telling me that he had been getting so many complaints about me making unwanted phone calls and they really felt bad for him to have to be the one to call and tell me not to come any more because he had given me so many warnings what none of any of this was true and showing me who was boss, he much to my horror shamelessly reveled everything!

I believe my days were numbered in the group and prior to all that, a friend who must have foreseen this suggested me giving on line dating a try what I thought was odd at the time but things really started to go down hill when I called him to make reservations to a dinner that one of the women and I planned to attend together and he told me that he would also need to have her call to confirm them, I wound up eating alone way over on the far side of town with the engaged couples what I thought to be another of his screwball jokes.

The damage was beyond repair and their was nothing my friends or people that knew me could do also the well meaning parish social coordinator sent me over to a Baptist group hoping I could get a new start but being still Catholic, and feeling lost, I started driving farther then ever. So after a couple of years of treading air and remembering my friends advice, I wound up on CM!

I did write a letter to the pastor telling him what happened and how I felt if things had to go to this extreme that all warnings should be submitted writing for the offender to sign and also suggested that proceedings may always be carried out under the direction of a priest and the person in question be given a chance to speak.

A friend told me that they had a lot of trouble and it got to the point where many men left or were put out and their were twice as many women as men so the church had to step in and do something .

All the officers now must go through an ethics and integrity class but sadly those dismissed will never be allowed back in the group probably because they feel the guilty deserved it and those who didnt are thought to be too big of a security risk.

It was really nice at first because the group was really based on trust and good will and was like a shelter away from the outside world of doubt and distrust also it was truly a fellowship for brothers and sisters in Christ but sadly all this was overshadowed and turned into nothing short of a frenzied race up to the top of the social ladder!

Pity.

Mar 26th 2014 new
(quote) Paul-99681 said:

Just as with many in getting a personal life off the ground ,I have the same problem in my area but between small parishes and very few singles in my area there is no way for any groups to exist. However during the early 90s I joined one at a big parish in Austin what was absolutely great and it really turned my life around ! It was about a 280 mile round trip and I went as often as I could but as time passed things started to change drastically but not living there, how little I realized what was happening when a new person took over running it who was a man of charm that won him favor with a sort of big brother image among many of the younger women who became the new officers and didnt know me but also trusting his judgment were satisfied to let him have the final say what created a sort of social monopoly and depending how he liked you, he could be a good asset or just as detrimental to your personal life.

At the end he told me that he never approved of me being in the group and felt I should stick to my own parish but also was very much against long distance relationships and numb with shock the pieces started to come together why he started sending me my calendar mid month and was making things as hard as possible, I started to get some rather unpleasant ones from the women officers telling me that he had been getting so many complaints about me making unwanted phone calls and they really felt bad for him to have to be the one to call and tell me not to come any more because he had given me so many warnings what none of any of this was true and showing me who was boss, he much to my horror shamelessly reveled everything!

I believe my days were numbered in the group and prior to all that, a friend who must have foreseen this suggested me giving on line dating a try what I thought was odd at the time but things really started to go down hill when I called him to make reservations to a dinner that one of the women and I planned to attend together and he told me that he would also need to have her call to confirm them, I wound up eating alone way over on the far side of town with the engaged couples what I thought to be another of his screwball jokes.

The damage was beyond repair and their was nothing my friends or people that knew me could do also the well meaning parish social coordinator sent me over to a Baptist group hoping I could get a new start but being still Catholic, and feeling lost, I started driving farther then ever. So after a couple of years of treading air and remembering my friends advice, I wound up on CM!

I did write a letter to the pastor telling him what happened and how I felt if things had to go to this extreme that all warnings should be submitted writing for the offender to sign and also suggested that proceedings may always be carried out under the direction of a priest and the person in question be given a chance to speak.

A friend told me that they had a lot of trouble and it got to the point where many men left or were put out and their were twice as many women as men so the church had to step in and do something .

All the officers now must go through an ethics and integrity class but sadly those dismissed will never be allowed back in the group probably because they feel the guilty deserved it and those who didnt are thought to be too big of a security risk.

It was really nice at first because the group was really based on trust and good will and was like a shelter away from the outside world of doubt and distrust also it was truly a fellowship for brothers and sisters in Christ but sadly all this was overshadowed and turned into nothing short of a frenzied race up to the top of the social ladder!

Pity.

Hello, Paul.

After several years of being widowed, some would ask me if I was open to marriage and I responded "Only if God wills it". The first priority is that he be a practicing Catholic, and since there aren't too many people in my age bracket and in my local area that fits the bill, I decided to join CM. But, my original response is still the same "Only if God wills it". biggrin
Mar 26th 2014 new
OiGwi. Is that the new WWJ... want?
Mar 26th 2014 new
Hello,

Just by a comedy of errors I suppose but I like it here. LOL, I'm pretty thick skinned!

Cheers,

Michael
Mar 26th 2014 new
When people ask me I just tell them that I was drunk the night I came across this site. It's better than the truth. Sometimes I wish it was the truth! angel





theheart
Mar 26th 2014 new
The truth is out there. But you're here to find an X file, well, actually 2, XX, to complement your XY. Now, you have to find a way to get the truth from out there to in here.
Mar 26th 2014 new
(quote) Roystan-340472 said: The truth is out there. But you're here to find an X file, well, actually 2, XX, to complement your XY. Now, you have to find a way to get the truth from out there to in here.
Mar 26th 2014 new
what happens if the file is dormant, what suggestion/recommendation?
Mar 26th 2014 new
Lol. I used to be Tricia 3935, then I married a Baptist boy. Divorced, Annulled. Now I'm Tricia with like seven CM digits after my name.
Mar 26th 2014 new
(quote) Tricia-877261 said: Lol. I used to be Tricia 3935, then I married a Baptist boy. Divorced, Annulled. Now I'm Tricia with like seven CM digits after my name.
You didn't meet him here, did you? eyebrow





theheart
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