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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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Whenever I meet a gentleman, especially for the first time, I take great care to dress both as appropriately and as attractively as I can for the particular activity we plan to do. All other things being equal, my overall wardrobe/appearance covers a pretty wide spectrum, from somewhat theatrical, to very business-like, to casual, to jeans and sneakers.

So... I pretty much expect SOME sort of comment on how I look when we first set eyes on each other, and each time afterward. I always find at least something to compliment about his attire.

And I'd have to say that about 75% of the time, the gentleman says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about how I look. To be perfectly honest, I'm pretty insecure about the fact that I'm middle-aged, beyond motherhood range, and looking older every day; it probably should not, but it makes a GREAT difference to me when the man steps back to take it all in, and then says something positive, complimentary, maybe even enthusiastic.

What is a woman to make of a date who doesn't even appear to have noticed what I'm wearing? Is he oblivious, or is he trying to be kind and truthful about the fact that he doesn't like anything about it?

PLEASE, Gentlemen, can you shed some light on the "code" men use to acknowledge what they think of a woman's appearance?
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Mar 30th 2014 new
Don't read too much into it. There were times I thought my date dressed nice but I just flat out forgot to say anything about it :/ It is a BIG mistake. I definitely feel I messed up the times I said nothing. We should compliment our date if they look nice. Sometimes we just plain forget though...
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Mar 30th 2014 new
Good subject, Maura. I am curious too.
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Mar 30th 2014 new
Andrew is correct.
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Mar 30th 2014 new
(quote) Andrew-851028 said: Don't read too much into it. There were times I thought my date dressed nice but I just flat out forgot to say anything about it :/ It is a BIG mistake. I definitely feel I messed up the times I said nothing. We should compliment our date if they look nice. Sometimes we just plain forget though...
But, don't you see that THAT'S THE PROBLEM? If you can forget to say anything at all, then obviously we've failed to make any significant impression on you. How can a man "forget" to say something if he's wowed?
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Mar 30th 2014 new
Ok for starters, I'm not a guy embarassed laughing

I am reasonably insecure myself so I get what you are saying...but for me personally I do not put a whole lot into that area when meeting someone for the first time, they may THINK if but feel awkward saying it, they may be thinking (does she find me attractive???)

Proof usually presents itself at the end of the date, is there a hug, kiss...or a handshake - I have had that happen a couple of times, ouch!

Final proof is if the phone rings and you go out again
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Mar 30th 2014 new
You are making a classic mistake that women make with men all the time.
an absence is an absence and especially in the case of why a man says nothing there are too many possibilites especially on a first date. Being a phlegmatic personality I've noticed this with women that some of the biggest mistakes have come from reading things into my silence when there are no clear indicators.

When you dress this way or that you are being who you are. If a man likes who you for whatever reason he likes you then that will be something that eventually comes out. It may not be for the reason you think. It may have nothing to do with your looks he may find you attractive enough in appearance that he can see himself with you but the thing that strikes him could be something else , something even more important.

A man may dislike you for any number of reasons too, and IF it is something stupid and petty you'll be glad he kept that to himself.

The thing is that there are so many reasons why a guy may be silent, sometimes it can just be cause they are treating you with kid gloves but there are sooo many reasons for a guy to be silent. Don't read into it especially on a first date.
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Mar 30th 2014 new
I see insecure women looking for a boost to their self-esteem. We all feel a bit insecure in how we look at this age, don't we? You need to believe you are beautiful and that you look good in what you are wearing. Don't expect that to come form me or any other man. Most guys will not tell you if you look bad, it is rude and shows bad manners. I personally look into a woman's eyes when we meet, they tell alot about a person. I will tell you first that your eyes are beautiful, engaging, mysterious etc. I will then tell you that you look lovely. I have to say I have never had a first date or first meeting where the woman did not look her best to begin with. The most important thing is to be yourself, wear what makes you comfortable, most men do not care what you are wearing anyway!
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Mar 30th 2014 new
Maura-

Good for you for asking the question.

smile

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Mar 30th 2014 new
Newsflash: I'm not a guy. Battling eyelashes

However, I am the observant sister to 5 brothers. If a girl really wowed them, sometimes they couldn't talk AT ALL- as in completely tongue tied. Three of them are married to the people who rendered them speechless. Back to basics: call=interest, no call=no interest.


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