Who make up the far majority of the success stories on this site? The proactive and those whose pursuit didn't include 650 non-negotiable standards.
You want to make yourself noticed, because it is very possible that the guy simply doesn''t know you exist. Put yourself on his radar, and let it be.
I would also add that if he is not interested and he is over 25 years old, I think it is safe to say that it is not because he is shy and might need some prodding.
It''s been a contentious subject in the forums in the past, but I do think it is for the benefit of the woman that the man should do the pursuing. I think there are more stories where the women extended themselves to men who really weren''t interested to begin with, than of men who vigorously pursued women only to shrug their shoulders at the end and simply walk away.
There are members here who will tell you the opposite and they will give you their contrary opinions (in mild blasts) in due time.
There are always exceptions. For example, an outgoing, assertive woman who is attracted to quiet guys might be quite successful with taking the lead.
If the gender roles are going to flip, however, women will have to get used to rejection. They'll experience a lot of it, just like men do.
I agree with Victor too when he touched on the issue of our long lists of requirements (a/k/a deal breakers). We truly need to give people a chance. Would it really hurt to get to know someone who didn't tick off every item on our wish list? I've crossed off quite a few items on my list... and I'm still working on it. I hope everyone joins me in this endeavor.