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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

can make or break the friendship. why do you think this is, after all, if God forgave you, then why is it so important for you to find that perfect person? Do you agree with the statement of, "we are all sinners". Are you a forgiving person?

boy, oh boy, a well known preacher here in south FL has resigned from his church due to moral sins against his church. He had a saying of Until the whole world hears we will spread the message of the gospel. He has left FL. gone. left his followers stunned. I don't know anyone who hasn't sinned. Are there expectations of perfect people out there? really? there are many fish in the sea and perhaps there will be one without sin in your eyes.

All of my close male and female friends have disclosed their heartbreaks and sins to me during our confidential talks. I did not judge them nor did they judge me. In my opinion, this is true friendship, life time friendship as well. what is your opinion on this subject? It isn't necessary to tell anyone what your sins were especially if you have confessed them to God. This is optional to do but one that shows how honest you are when you are getting involved in a relationship so that there won't be any shock factors later on that may ruin what you have built together. what are your feelings on this subject?


Apr 8th 2014 new
Connie,
We are all sinners. Pope Francis has said that he too is a sinner.
Honesty is the best policy. I was brought up with high standards of morality and living. We were told that if you tell the truth it's over. Whereas if you lie one lie perpetuates into additional lies and, it doesn't end.
What is the gain in lying?
Apr 8th 2014 new
35 views and no one else is talking! laughing Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp
Apr 8th 2014 new
Oh. . . wow, my sense of humor is so dying to kick in here. . . but it might not be a good thing so I shall refrain, and be serious instead.

There is pretty much nothing someone could tell me that would shock me. . .unless maybe they are the real life Dexter or something. My only concern with someone's past is how it haunts them in the present, because being with them in the present I am then pulled into their nightmares and it is sometimes difficult to battle ghosts from the past, no matter how much you love another. But, I would still battle for them. Knowing what i am battling however would be helpful.

Other than that not much would deter me, or make me think less of another, at least nothing I can think of at this point in time. I would of course want to protect my children and loved ones from someone who had preyed upon children, but that can be done without fear or ugliness. I have heard, seen and experience a lot of things in my life, some light and beautiful and some dark and ugly. Those encounters can shape a person into many different things. What a blessing to be able to come out of the dark and ugly and be able to leave it behind one and move in the present with the strength and wisdom acquired during that battle, but not the demons.
Apr 8th 2014 new
(quote) Bernard-2709 said: 35 views and no one else is talking!
gangster duck duck duck duck duck duck muted
Apr 8th 2014 new
I think being able to honestly share your past not only shows how much you trust the other person, but it frees you and releases whatever power those sins have over you. Yes, even with forgiveness it can take a while to come to an acceptance of the sins of our past, but I believe that time can give us more tolerance and understanding, also. I don't know that I would want to spend my life with someone who I wouldn't be comfortable with sharing where I've come from. I think it makes the now so much more remarkable.
Apr 9th 2014 new
We're all sinners. None of us are perfect. We all say things we say and do that we regret. We all bleed red. youtu.be
Forgive one another as The Lord has forgiven you. Just as love one another as The Lord has loved us.

Romans 3:10 There is no one righteous no not one.

Think of it this way, if you find someone perfect then that person will expect you to be perfect. two cents


We can't do anything about our past but we can only look forward to our future. Live everyday as this would be your last because for one thing you don't know when your last day on earth will be.

Apr 9th 2014 new

Recently I was assisting a young female friend improve her Condo unit ; this woman is a CM member .She "requested permission" to ask a "personal" question, and I informed her she was most welcome to inquire about any and all aspects of my life. past or present. I was wiling to reveal all and not conceal anything , even if was something that she would view as extremely immoral. She also admitted . vis-a-vis the Church , that she was a "sinner"

"Permission granted", she proceeded to ask her question which was about my " future plans" for a certain circumstance., and a possible problem in that regard that was of concern to her., so by posing this particular question she was expressing concern for my future , and that was thoughtful of her.

Apr 9th 2014 new
I believe whole-heartedly in what you and others have posted: frankness and honesty about errors and sins of the past are ESSENTIAL to relationship building.

However, I have a concern about being "stuck" in the past. As Catholics, we have the sacrament of Reconciliation and the practice of it is called "making confession". IF you have divulged everything to a priest, have made the penance, have made restitution to parties involved, believe in God's mercy and accept forgiveness..proffered forgiveness...a once or twice sharing with a prospective marriage partner should suffice.

However, IF you are "haunted" and feeling "unforgiven"...IF you are really living IN that past...and bathing the new relationship with constant stories and references ...perhaps more time is needed for personal scrutiny and healing work... BEFORE taking on the NEW emotional work of connecting with a spouse in addition to all that "unfinished spiritual/emotional" work?

Our Holy Mother Church HAS the annulment process, which, though painful and laborious, is purgative.
Our Holy Mother Church HAS the Sacrament of the Sick for laying on of hands and anointing for pain of body mind and heart.
Our Holy Mother Church HAS the Sacrament of Reconciliation for pain in the soul for the contrite.

As a prospective spouse, I would seek out these avenues and secular resources if needed, to be sure that my "sharing" is a healthy one-time kind of in depth soul baring in the interests of openness and investment in the future relationship---and on to marriage.

I have learned the hard way, though, that IF this is a constant focal point of "conversation"in a courtship, over months and months of friendship....and his perspective remains the same, that is, no change despite how you, as a couple have prayed about, discussed, and resolved...and the record starts over again, and yet again...same viewpoint ...same admissions...same stories...same conclusions drawn...no improvement...no growth in perspective...it can indicate a major red flag in the relationship. So, it seems, as with most things in life...even healthy "sharing" can be done in excess.

I personally learned to pay better attention if excess in this arena is clearly demonstrated. scratchchin There must be a limit to keep a healthy balance. God helps in that discernment! Good News! biggrin

Thanks for the topic, Connie!
Barbara




Apr 9th 2014 new
Exactly Barbara -- being stuck in the past is how it can be haunting. I absolutely agree with leaving it behind, embracing all the healing opportunities provided to us by not only the Church and God, but through those He has gifted with the passion, education and wisdom to heal our minds and hearts as well.

I have found over the years that some issues from a person's past don't actually appear until a specific time in the present arrives --- for example: realizing that your parents were not the kindest of disciplinarians and how frightened it could make you -- when you are the parent of a toddler (or a teen) who is misbehaving -- all of a sudden all of those things from the past take on a new meaning and a new life.

Here's a more pertinent example lol. I was six when my youngest brother/sibling was born. I was so happy, I was old enough to hold him, had my own little rocking chair and being big enough to hold him I was allowed to rock him sometimes until he fell asleep. I loved rocking him, but sometimes he fell asleep too fast, so one day I pinched him to wake him up, of course he cried and I soothed and rocked and got to rock for a little longer. At the time I hadn't thought about what i did being mean or bad, I was six.

When I had my first child and I was rocking him one night and he fell asleep in my arms, that memory of pinching my little brother came back and just tore me apart, lol. I can remember sitting there crying and Pete couldn't figure out why.

Stuff comes up lol. And, don't worry my brother laughed and said "no worries" when I confessed to him lol. That may be a mild example, but it's true.


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