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Now that I have your attention, how can one find out if the member you are communicating with is an active member and can see what you are sending? Here is my understanding of church teaching. If you are purposely misleading someone for personal gain then that action is illicit by design. I have a right to know, say within a weeks time, that the person I'm communicating with is not an active member. This way I know they can't respond and I can move on to communicate with others. If they are an active member, I know there is a live pulse on the other end. That way I know the reason for rejection of the communication. So if I send out 20 communications and 15 are rejected because they are not active, I would feel better and move on. By hiding this fact, I'm being mislead on purpose for personal gain of CM. If 90 percent of the profiles I'm tracking are non active then that's also being misleading.
Apr 9th 2014 new
I suppose a Help Ticket would be the answer?
Apr 9th 2014 new
I think these people are being encouraged to pay their way. They can now see you message after 10 days and so if they wanted to communicate with you enough they will pay up if not they may send you an untexted emot so you know again that they are not financial. It is normal business practice to operate dating sites in this manner.
Apr 9th 2014 new
(quote) John-1068804 said: how can one find out if the member you are communicating with is an active member and can see what you are sending? ...I have a right to know, say within a weeks time, that the person I'm communicating with is not an active member. ...So if I send out 20 communications and 15 are rejected because they are not active, I would feel better and move on. By hiding this fact, I'm being mislead on purpose for personal gain of CM.
Hello John and welcome to the forums,
"how can one find out if the member you are communicating with is an active member and can see what you are sending?"
There is a very easy way for you to determine that a member is an active member and can see what you are saying, and that is for you to receive a response from that person in regards to your attempts to converse with them.
"I have a right to know, say within a weeks time, that the person I'm communicating with is not an active member:"
Not sure where this "right" comes from, but communication can be thought of as is the meaningful exchange of information between two or more living creatures. Does not the fact that you use the word communication indicate that you have successfully communicated with the other person(s)?
"So if I send out 20 communications and 15 are rejected because they are not active, I would feel better and move on"
If, as you call it, an "active member" has not logged in and seen your attempted communication with them, it seems you have already labeled such attempt a rejection. If I am not mistaken (as I often am) rejection of you by them would require some action on their part - and as such you are admitting that they have communicated with you in some manner - albeit not necessarily to your liking.
Catholic Match offers the following guarantee many may think of considering:
www.catholicmatch.com .

Although being new to the site may lead one to have many questions about the site, keeping them as questions as opposed to accusations may result in better communications between all parties.

And on a personal note, I will add that my ability to remain private as to who I respond to and who I do not, while here on CM, is something that I appreciate as an aspect of the site here on CM. And I find nothing misleading or illicit in any of my actions or inaction as a member of Catholic Match, both now and prior to becoming a paying member.



Apr 9th 2014 new
(quote) John-1068804 said: Now that I have your attention, how can one find out if the member you are communicating with is an active member and can see what you are sending? Here is my understanding of church teaching. If you are purposely misleading someone for personal gain then that action is illicit by design. I have a right to know, say within a weeks time, that the person I'm communicating with is not an active member. This way I know they can't respond and I can move on to communicate with others. If they are an active member, I know there is a live pulse on the other end. That way I know the reason for rejection of the communication. So if I send out 20 communications and 15 are rejected because they are not active, I would feel better and move on. By hiding this fact, I'm being mislead on purpose for personal gain of CM. If 90 percent of the profiles I'm tracking are non active then that's also being misleading.
Hi John,

"Communicating" means a two way interaction. If you send out 20 contacts and you are not getting a response, either the person is not an active member or is not interested. This issue has come up many times in the forums and everyone has a different take. IF however, they are not an active member and they see you've made contact and they are interested, your contact may be just the incentive they need to become a paying member.

I was a non-paying member for long time, before I took the plunge. I had my reasons.

You have a very nice profile. Pray, hope and don't worry, God has it figured out. CM is just one more method by which you are open to the spouse God has for you.

Blessings on your search
Apr 9th 2014 new
(quote) Dave-976637 said: Hello John and welcome to the forums,
"how can one find out if the member you are communicating with is an active member and can see what you are sending?"
There is a very easy way for you to determine that a member is an active member and can see what you are saying, and that is for you to receive a response from that person in regards to your attempts to converse with them.
"I have a right to know, say within a weeks time, that the person I'm communicating with is not an active member:"
Not sure where this "right" comes from, but communication can be thought of as is the meaningful exchange of information between two or more living creatures. Does not the fact that you use the word communication indicate that you have successfully communicated with the other person(s)?
"So if I send out 20 communications and 15 are rejected because they are not active, I would feel better and move on"
If, as you call it, an "active member" has not logged in and seen your attempted communication with them, it seems you have already labeled such attempt a rejection. If I am not mistaken (as I often am) rejection of you by them would require some action on their part - and as such you are admitting that they have communicated with you in some manner - albeit not necessarily to your liking.
Catholic Match offers the following guarantee many may think of considering:
http://www.catholicmatch.com/about/cm-guarantee/ .

Although being new to the site may lead one to have many questions about the site, keeping them as questions as opposed to accusations may result in better communications between all parties.

And on a personal note, I will add that my ability to remain private as to who I respond to and who I do not, while here on CM, is something that I appreciate as an aspect of the site here on CM. And I find nothing misleading or illicit in any of my actions or inaction as a member of Catholic Match, both now and prior to becoming a paying member.



Navigating through the online dating world can be confusing, but I agree with Dave.

Welcome John and God bless you!


Apr 9th 2014 new
(quote) Claire-247015 said: I think these people are being encouraged to pay their way. They can now see you message after 10 days and so if they wanted to communicate with you enough they will pay up if not they may send you an untexted emot so you know again that they are not financial. It is normal business practice to operate dating sites in this manner.

I underlined the following information regarding Membership Status from the Help link.

What Information Is Not Permitted In Profiles

For the benefit of our members, our customer service team reviews each profile to ensure that CatholicMatch remains a wholesome environment. The following information is not permitted in public parts of the site:

  • Contact Information, including email addresses, phone numbers, last names, addresses, URLs to other networking sites, usernames, and requests for others' contact information, are not permitted in public profiles for safety reasons. Please reserve this information for the private messaging system, once you have developed a level of trust with someone.
  • Membership Status- We do not permit reference to membership status because free members would then be excluded from contact. In reality, the majority of non-subscribing members are simply waiting for someone to show interest before choosing to respond.
  • Content that is contrary to the Catholic teachings-In order to facilitate a wholesome Catholic environment, profanity (whether censored or not), racist, vulgar, violent, sexually explicit, content is not permitted. This also extends to advocacy of extra-marital relationships and references to horoscopes.
  • Miscellaneous Restricted Content-HTML and other scripting languages, solicitations or advertisements, narratives written with all uppercase letters, solicitations, unauthorized use of copyrighted or trademarked materials, irrelevant information (writing about something other than yourself in your "About Me" space).




Apr 25th 2014 new

To me this was an interesting discussion and I just wanted to post my two cents . I agree with how the site works but at the same time I definitely understand John's frustration. When you find someone that you would really like to get to know only to seemingly be rejected out of hand that can be a tough pill to swallow. I've been there and it can lead down a dangerous path where you wonder what you're doing wrong or (even worse) what's wrong with you. It sounds a bit cheesy but you've just got to dust yourself off, keep trying, and have faith that everything will work out no matter how hopeless it may seem.

Apr 25th 2014 new

Think of CM as a cocktail party.

Everyone's here. Everyone's visible. But some people choose just to eat canaps and not actually interact with others. The guy giving the party (CM) can't make them talk. It's up to us to invite them to participate and up to them to choose to do so, or not.

Apr 26th 2014 new
If you are looking for an active member, you can see that through the search tool; it will tell you how recently a person has been on-line (although I think it stops counting after 90 days).

If by the word "active" you actually mean a "paying" member, then that's something that isn't so clear.

When you do a search and find profiles, CM doesn't imply that they are either paying or non-paying, so it's not clear how you are being mislead. The fact is that we can all respond if we choose to, although some of us have paid before hand and some of us will pay in order to respond to someone who sends us a message.



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