Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Let's say that you meet someone on CM and very quickly you both feel that, in the other, it seems you've found someone very special. How quickly would you expect things to move forward? Let's also assume that you are both being open in your communication and that you are communicating on a daily basis. I know, I know... this may seem ridiculous to those of us who aren't getting responses to our initial contact, but please keep in mind that all things are possible under God and that we don't know when it's His time.

Would your expectations be higher? Is there a more of a danger of filling in the missing pieces with your fantasy man or woman? What are the other things you have to be conscious about so as not to get too far ahead of yourself?

Please do not assume that I'm in this situation, sometimes I just wonder about certain things after being here for six years. I've been told I "over think" things scratchchin

I have posted this in the 45+ room as I feel that those of us who are a bit older absolutely know what we want and will know it when we see it, and won't waste time moving forward. Are these assumptions right?


Apr 10th 2014 new
If the person lives in the same town as you, make plans to meet. I went on two dinner dates with the same guy shortly after he contacted me. We weren't a match but it was nice to go out and find out. If they are out of town, proceed to phone calls and, then if things are still going strong, make plans to meet somehow.
Apr 10th 2014 new
Hi Rob,

I really believe these things take on a life of their own. I ended up going out with my husband because my sister canceled on him at the last minute and I felt sorry for him. Within a few hours we were very comfortable and excited to know each other. He asked me to marry him four weeks later -- but we didn't marry for another nine months.

I do know my brothers, one of whom is also a private investigator would insist on a complete background check of anyone I met online lol. . .and I am not saying that is necessarily a bad thing. Mostly to verify that they are who they say they are and that they have not left behind a string of missing or deceased or bilked wives behind :-) I watch too many murder shows:- ).

I believe, however, that no matter how wonderful things go via phone or computer, until the couple meet in person and get to interact and explore things about each other, it isn't a done deal. I have often wondered about this when pondering the mail order brides of the past, who may or may not have met, but who corresponded or answered an ad and found themselves heading into the pioneer lands to marry. . . what was it like for them, those first meetings.

Anyway, I think the relationship will follow its own timeline and path.
Apr 10th 2014 new
(quote) Diane-1049865 said: If the person lives in the same town as you, make plans to meet. I went on two dinner dates with the same guy shortly after he contacted me. We weren't a match but it was nice to go out and find out. If they are out of town, proceed to phone calls and, then if things are still going strong, make plans to meet somehow.
I totally agree with you Diane. If it's local, then take it offline quickly. Singles websites should only be a way to meet if you are local. If its a LDR, then phone calls would be quickly needed and after just a couple calls, they should without a doubt make plans to meet. If these all work, then you may just have met "the one" as they say heart
Apr 10th 2014 new
(quote) Lauren-927923 said: Hi Rob,

I really believe these things take on a life of their own. I ended up going out with my husband because my sister canceled on him at the last minute and I felt sorry for him. Within a few hours we were very comfortable and excited to know each other. He asked me to marry him four weeks later -- but we didn't marry for another nine months.

I do know my brothers, one of whom is also a private investigator would insist on a complete background check of anyone I met online lol. . .and I am not saying that is necessarily a bad thing. Mostly to verify that they are who they say they are and that they have not left behind a string of missing or deceased or bilked wives behind :-) I watch too many murder shows:- ).

I believe, however, that no matter how wonderful things go via phone or computer, until the couple meet in person and get to interact and explore things about each other, it isn't a done deal. I have often wondered about this when pondering the mail order brides of the past, who may or may not have met, but who corresponded or answered an ad and found themselves heading into the pioneer lands to marry. . . what was it like for them, those first meetings.

Anyway, I think the relationship will follow its own timeline and path.
Yes, each relationship is unique and has its own timeline and path. I just think that older people who understand what they're looking for, things would be more likely to move more quickly. Though every age has people who are exceedingly careful and those who are more spontaneous. May we all be blessed with a relationship with God at the center.
Apr 10th 2014 new
(quote) Rob-362135 said: Yes, each relationship is unique and has its own timeline and path. I just think that older people who understand what they're looking for, things would be more likely to move more quickly. Though every age has people who are exceedingly careful and those who are more spontaneous. May we all be blessed with a relationship with God at the center.
Something my mom always told me, was that an engagement should not last more than a year. I think this is a good thing. I think within a month or two, we know whether or not the person is someone we would want to be with. And, once the decision to marry happens I don't see any reason for waiting any longer than necessary - for pre-Cana etc. So three to six months from that time.
Apr 10th 2014 new
I think if it is meant to be it will be. Sooo if you were communicating with someone every day then you would process to the phone and then to meeting. If you lived in the same area you might meet sooner. If you lived farther away it might take more planning to meet. If you met and you both felt you would like to meet again then meet again. I think if you found the one it will take its own course and when the time is right everything will work out as it should. :)
Apr 10th 2014 new
(quote) Kathy-730470 said: I think if it is meant to be it will be. Sooo if you were communicating with someone every day then you would process to the phone and then to meeting. If you lived in the same area you might meet sooner. If you lived farther away it might take more planning to meet. If you met and you both felt you would like to meet again then meet again. I think if you found the one it will take its own course and when the time is right everything will work out as it should. :)
Kathy is correct in her summary...above.

I'd also add in an *LDR the first meeting would be a true joint planning/sharing/coordinating project...Both suggest, jump in, grab the calendars, and get to work on the nuts and bolts...You cannot leave that up to one party to plan..and or bear all costs...monetary....time....gasoline...food...and angst!

The second F2F might not even be possible for a month or several months away...But the prompting for that second F@F over 300 miles should then be considered "pursuit" territory...at least for an expensive LDR...If the man is NOT leading in planning a second LDR ...even if it's for 6 months out...not bringing up the topic not outlining possibilities for it...imho...the woman should "resist" taking that lead....unless he of course REQUESTS her to please arrange it....for his own reasons...An LDR is more than just the details and plans of travelling...otherwise it becomes a tourist road trip. So...just note if the effort to overcome the distance is waning...

An LDR is really like a dance...She and He both were drawn to each other across the miles...they join and do a dance...they return to their respective sides of the dance hall...he knows where she is...and they are still looking at each other...so he can then be the "lead" and if she wants to meet him halfway after he nods to her...they both have another dance and chance!!

JUST in case there are any LDR possible persons reading in here?

Hope this Helps
Barbara

BTW I chose 300+ miles as LDR...because that would be one major city's distance away for my area.



Apr 10th 2014 new
Dating on CM has gone easily for me for the most part. The guys I've dated and I seem to move at a similar pace. It gets difficult when other CM members purposely attempt to sabotage the relationship. Those people aren't Catholic in my opinion. (:
Apr 10th 2014 new
(quote) Tammy-991351 said: It gets difficult when other CM members purposely attempt to sabotage the relationship. Those people aren't Catholic in my opinion. (:
Wow!!! eyepopping

Only took 3 years for one of the ladies on this site to admit that I was right when I made this same exact statement! thumbsup

Just hope you don't come under the same firestorm that I did. sad




theheart
Posts 1 - 10 of 56