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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

This thread is for support. Please take any need to argue elsewhere. This is not the place. If you aren't a part of the solution, your a part of the problem. Thank you.
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Apr 22nd 2014 new
Do you not agree that there must be chastity of thought as well as chastity of actions? Are you saying that those who have a fuller or different understanding of chastity than you are wrong and arguing? We are to control our lustful thoughts as much as our actions.
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Apr 22nd 2014 new
Rock on Katie! I concur! You go girl! I support once again. Praying wave thumbsup

It's very hard to be with someone with mutual admiration and the romance starts and then you have to be strong and stay pure, but it can be done! Nothing comes off except the shoes!
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Apr 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Jane-933948 said: Rock on Katie! I concur! You go girl! I support once again.

It's very hard to be with someone with mutual admiration and the romance starts and then you have to be strong and stay pure, but it can be done! Nothing comes off except the shoes!
Or when it's one sided....you both talk about staying chaste and at least one of you is but the other is not doing a great job of controlling themselves (and it AIN'T YOU!! LOL) in other words, some talk the talk, but that's where it stops!
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Apr 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Jane-933948 said: Rock on Katie! I concur! You go girl! I support once again.

It's very hard to be with someone with mutual admiration and the romance starts and then you have to be strong and stay pure, but it can be done! Nothing comes off except the shoes!
I agree with you ladies. Jesus said if you have looked at a woman with lust in your heart you have committed adultery. So we must be chaste in word, thought and deed.

That's what we are committed to and praying for!

I like what Jane said, "Nothing comes off except the shoes!!"
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Apr 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: Do you not agree that there must be chastity of thought as well as chastity of actions? Are you saying that those who have a fuller or different understanding of chastity than you are wrong and arguing? We are to control our lustful thoughts as much as our actions.
Rachel, I don't need to agree or disagree with you. Please keep your posts supportive. Thank you.
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Apr 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Jacqueline-198 said: Or when it's one sided....you both talk about staying chaste and at least one of you is but the other is not doing a great job of controlling themselves (and it AIN'T YOU!! LOL) in other words, some talk the talk, but that's where it stops!
Then you state that at the outset. You say: We are going to have a chaste relationship or I will find someone who wants to. Then if he, or she, isn't making the effort keep on walking.

We're going to be tested for sure. We always are. But we are all about pleasing Our Lord and Savior. We will not fight this alone! We have each other and we will have God.
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Apr 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Jim-13836 said: Then you state that at the outset. You say: We are going to have a chaste relationship or I will find someone who wants to. Then if he, or she, isn't making the effort keep on walking.

We're going to be tested for sure. We always are. But we are all about pleasing Our Lord and Savior. We will not fight this alone! We have each other and we will have God.
Right on! Push for sin becomes a deal-breaker.
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Apr 22nd 2014 new
You're so right on this Jane...

It is very hard. The way it was explained to me is that anything which arouses the passions is to be avoided, and treated very delicately. We can go to town on showing all kinds of physical affection like hugs, holding hands, sitting close, mild cuddling, light kisses, etc. In fact this is really necessary to start the bonding process, and it would be a very sad and dreary courtship without physical warmth. As Fr. Thomas Morrow put it... We as Catholics need to revive and claim the delicate and creative art of affection.

But once passion takes hold, even if with great will power is not consummated... judgement flees and people begin speaking lies with their bodies. To even prepare for the act is to say I love you above all others, and I give my life to cherish, protect and defend you till death do us part. Without a ring on the finger, no one can speak that body language in truth. Playing with fire makes people vulnerable and not able to think clearly... especially the woman as she is more relational, and thus more susceptible to bonding hormones...

I didn't quite buy all this when I first heard it... but sad experience has proven this warning both wise and true... *sigh*... Thank you all for this thread.... rose
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Apr 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Debbie-514749 said: You're so right on this Jane...

It is very hard. The way it was explained to me is that anything which arouses the passions is to be avoided, and treated very delicately. We can go to town on showing all kinds of physical affection like hugs, holding hands, sitting close, mild cuddling, light kisses, etc. In fact this is really necessary to start the bonding process, and it would be a very sad and dreary courtship without physical warmth. As Fr. Thomas Morrow put it... We as Catholics need to revive and claim the delicate and creative art of affection.

But once passion takes hold, even if with great will power is not consummated... judgement flees and people begin speaking lies with their bodies. To even prepare for the act is to say I love you above all others, and I give my life to cherish, protect and defend you till death do us part. Without a ring on the finger, no one can speak that body language in truth. Playing with fire makes people vulnerable and not able to think clearly... especially the woman as she is more relational, and thus more susceptible to bonding hormones...

I didn't quite buy all this when I first heard it... but sad experience has proven this warning both wise and true... *sigh*... Thank you all for this thread....
*sigh* .... For me, it's a similar acceptance to accepting that I'm alone. But when I think of the union with Christ, I feel something calming and relieving. I feel like I don't need to have it all figured out, but only to trust. I have a sense of loss, but still, I believe that I don't have to do this. The Lord will do it for me. When I do meet 'the one', I can't imagine what that will be like.(avoiding temptation) . But I choose to not project into the future. (I'm giving this my best shot, with taking daily action toward greater spiritual growth.) Jesus I trust in you.
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