I see no protocol actually. Here is why:
E - I've been a full member of this site since mid November, and while I haven't found "the one" yet, I have had numerous good conversations, one date, and (most important) a better understanding of dating/courtship in the Catholic Church. I plan to renew my membership when the six months expire.
M - Me too, I'm having the time of my life and really enjoy my stay here as well!
E - There is a situation that many people here have faced, and I was hoping to hear some ideas--both from a male and female perspective--of what the protocol, and your personal opinion, of what should be done. You have received an emotigram/message from someone who has expressed interest in you, but upon reading their profile, you know that there is no way you would be compatible. Perhaps it's the fact that they live across the world and you specifically stated that you do not want a long distance relationship. Or, they are divorced and do not accept half of the teachings of the Church. Or even something smaller, like a much larger age difference than you feel comfortable with, and no physical attraction. Whatever the reason/reasons, it's a definite red flag.
M - How the heck can we really know a person's real heart just from a few photos and a personality summary? It takes at least 6 months to a year to really know a person and see their true colors as any psychologist or marriage counselor would tell us. Basing our initial judgment on these forums is totally foolhardy in my books. Even if they are your perfect match according to their profiles, you will never know until you write to them, get a feeling for their true hearts then of course meet them in person. Distance is dicey and I understand this but I would sure as hell fly from Cape to Cairo if I had the opportunity to know that special one for me. If they are divorced I would see to it that they were getting their annulment as I did with my late wife. When you start to love someone they may well listen to you and change their attitudes about the teachings of the Catholic church. If they were totally that inflexible and disgusted with many aspects of our faith in the first place they would not be here at all would they? My name is Michael, yours is Emily, not Jesus Christ. Don't worry about big age differences. I do have lady "friends" in the macro world from 20 -80. Most guys including myself though would much rather go for Latin American or Asian girls half our age if we so chose to go that route forgetting grey hair and acne don't mix. As for physical attractiveness, I see nobody on here, starting with me on the cover of Gentleman's Quarterly, Vogue or Cosmopolitan magazines. I think we all need to look in the mirror before getting too critical of others on here.
E Are you supposed to contact that person with a polite message saying you're not interested, or just not respond and hope that they get the message? Is not responding within a certain time period the expected way to state your lack of interest without hurting their feelings? In the past, I've always opted for the polite message. Sometimes, I either receive no response, or a polite response. Other times, the person will respond saying that they had never intended to pursue a relationship, only friendship. Recently, after receiving numerous emotigrams from the same
M No, never write off a person off and keep an open mind. With the signals you get here you just don't know. For example I had one lady I've been writing to for about 6 weeks say caio, but LDR and parts of your attitude are not for me! Then I suddenly get a letter to come and visit her in her state and go on a a trip for a week or so in a month from now. We can't read minds all the time!
Just remember what come around goes around and each of us ought to treat the other as how they would like to be treated. If all of us here on CMC were that good and the dream boats of the world we'd never have to be on here in the first place would we now?