Even in my limited time on here, I've encountered many young women who seem to have the best intentions. They want a man who is faithful, caring, basically all the best traits most of us hope for in a partner. And yet when you delve deeper by talking to them, going on a few dates, etc, you realize that while they want all those things they don't seem to find those qualities attractive enough to view someone romantically. What I mean by that is that they all seem to want perfection. They want the good man I describe, but they also want someone funny and charming and handsome. They want the Prince Charming from the movies even if they claim that's not realistic. They have this desire for a perfect 10 and even if he's a 9.5 they assume that they are risking missing out on the 10 that is right around the corner in their mind if they settle.
Now I realize that having these generic positive traits doesn't mean that it automatically creates attraction. What I mean is I understand that being kind and faithful and so on doesn't automatically make someone fall for you exactly like being amazingly attractive doesn't get you a spouse if you don't have good qualities inside you. But it's very interesting to me how people can walk away from that type good of person so quickly and easily, especially when most profiles I see are describing that exact kind of person. To me, love is a choice. I want to find someone that has the important qualities I'm looking for and I believe that over time by building comfort with this person and sharing experiences the love will develop. To do the opposite is backwards to me, but many girls seem to do that. Rather than identify these positive traits and let something develop, they seem to assume that if they don't have butterflies right away that's a sign that it's not "meant to be" even if they have met the greatest man ever in terms of having all the traits they desire. Like the article basically says, perfection isn't there. No matter who we end up with we will be making concessions and sacrifices for the sake of who they are as a person. We can overlook a lot of thing that are pointless and shallow for the sake of having a good person in our lives who makes us better and brings us closer to God.
So I'm curious to see what everyone believes on this topic. Are you going along believing everything will line up perfectly at some point with both a good partner and someone you have a spark with and anything less is a sign to you that you should move on? Or are you looking for the best person you can find and willing to put in some time to see where it goes? Personally I try and give someone all the time I can as I don't believe I'm going to run into someone and instantly fall for them. In fact if I did I would believe those would the shallow kind of feelings that burn out quickly anyway. If you are kind, holy, friendly, etc, I want to give you every chance to connect with me and see what kind of relationship we can build. And I would only ask you do the same for me. But so far, I haven't encountered anyone who seems to understand that concept. So when you meet that person that has all the things you want in a person, will you pursue it even if you aren't head over heels for them right away? On the same note, how long would you give someone for those feelings to develop before you decide it isn't going to happen?