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This room is for general discussion that doesn't specifically fit into one of the other CatholicMatch rooms. Topics should not be overly serious as this is to be more of a "cafe setting."

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I've been thinking about this subject and I have come to the conclusion there are two main secrets to a happy marriage, and I mean these in addition to the foundation of sacramental grace and putting God first in your marriage.

1. Firm commitment never to divorce, no matter what. If both husband and wife, out of respect for marriage, would rather be miserable than get a divorce, then they have a motive for making life less miserable and working on problems.

2. Commitment to making the home life pleasant by not giving reign to bad tempers, anger, indifference, etc. This would manifest itself by things like:

"Good morning."
"I missed you."
"Drive carefully."
"Thank you for bringing the car around so I don't have to go out in the rain."
"This was a delicious meal. You are a good cook."
"You look handsome."
"You look beautiful."
"Can I get you a beer?"
"Would you like some more coffee?"
"My wife does an amazing job of managing the finances."
"My husband is great about maintaining the cars so I always feel safe."

So am I on to something? Wouldn't these two attitudes with God's grace make a happy marriage? smile

Jun 19th 2014 new

I loved what you wrote and agree with you.

Thanks for your words

Jun 19th 2014 new
(quote) Susan-1048377 said: I've been thinking about this subject and I have come to the conclusion there are two main secrets to a happy marriage, and I mean these in addition to the foundation of sacramental grace and putting God first in your marriage.

1. Firm commitment never to divorce, no matter what. If both husband and wife, out of respect for marriage, would rather be miserable than get a divorce, then they have a motive for making life less miserable and working on problems.

2. Commitment to making the home life pleasant by not giving reign to bad tempers, anger, indifference, etc. This would manifest itself by things like:

"Good morning."
"I missed you."
"Drive carefully."
"Thank you for bringing the car around so I don't have to go out in the rain."
"This was a delicious meal. You are a good cook."
"You look handsome."
"You look beautiful."
"Can I get you a beer?"
"Would you like some more coffee?"
"My wife does an amazing job of managing the finances."
"My husband is great about maintaining the cars so I always feel safe."

So am I on to something? Wouldn't these two attitudes with God's grace make a happy marriage?

Susan, I think you are on to something. I know, it is important for me as a man, knowing I am respected, and for the woman, knowing that she is valued, loved, cherished even. I think the Good Book says as much. I like your practical approach though!
Jun 20th 2014 new
This reminds me of Dr. Gottman's book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and the balance theory of the optimal ratio of 5:1 positive to negative behaviors-- when happy couples communicate, there are five times as many positive interactions as there are negative.
For ex: if you have the impulse to criticize, follow it up with a generous amount of affirmation, appreciation, affection etc..
Jun 20th 2014 new
(quote) Sara-979131 said: This reminds me of Dr. Gottman's book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and the balance theory of the optimal ratio of 5:1 positive to negative behaviors-- when happy couples communicate, there are five times as many positive interactions as there are negative.
For ex: if you have the impulse to criticize, follow it up with a generous amount of affirmation, appreciation, affection etc..
Right, Sara! It's all about making an effort to create a peaceful home life. For some reason, some people seem bent on destroying the happiness of those around them.
Jun 20th 2014 new
Is our communication with a spouse sending a come here message or a go away message!!!
Jun 21st 2014 new

I think you've boiled hundreds of volumes into their simplest form: COMMITMENT TO PERMANCY and KINDNESS.

Well done! thumbsup

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