(quote) Leo-1097313 said: So many of our peers (not in this forum) I have talked to have all said the same thing about caring for their parents in their final years - that it was a blessing for both parent and adult child. I have struggled with my attempt. My father passed away in '84. I sometimes feel like there is unfinished business he intended for me somehow. His dying wish (I was not present for his passing) was that we would all love each other. My mother and I have polar opposite temperaments. My confessor says all my attempts to help her, to understand her and to love her will be rewarded in my life and when I pass.
I was available when my mother stumbled outside and fell. I discovered her splayed out on the front porch in shock with a horrible compound fracture, bleeding from her wrist. The look on her face and her helplessness began for me a long period of hyper-vigilance while she recovered. I have a high regard for care givers as a result. My older sister takes care of the medications and her finances, I help with the chores and the errands and, more frequently now, other "little things" like opening, closing, lifting, reaching, et cetera.
My mother hopes for me to carry on and find a good spouse since my annulment has been in process now for 3 years and we expect good news in the near future. I want to carry on for all the right reasons including the right relationship with her and the assurance of the next level of her palliative care - I think that would satisfy my father's dying wish in letter and spirit. I would like to think a good woman would appreciate how a man loves his own mother and would see that love as a hopeful sign for a new relationship.
What are the experiences out there among the peers in this forum in regard to caring for elderly parents?
Cor ad cor loquitur,
God bless you and your sister for the help you give your mom! God knows how many lonely elderly finish their final years in nursing homes.
Currently, my mom takes care of my dad. She is in great health and he is in bad health. He has problems with his memory and will worry or become agitated if he doesn't know (or remember) where my mom may be at any given moment. While he remembers the names of all 5 of my brothers, he has trouble remembering his 8 daughters.
Many times have we kids taken him to doctors appointments or to the emergency room, etc. As he is a horribly stubborn Irishman, he is only comfortable with my mom helping him. We are all happy to help both of them with anything they may need; my mom is content with being his caretaker...