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This room is for general discussion that doesn't specifically fit into one of the other CatholicMatch rooms. Topics should not be overly serious as this is to be more of a "cafe setting."

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When a member of Catholic Match views the photos of another member, doubts can arise about whether the photos match the real person. These suspicions can be strong enough to preclude all attempts at communication even of the most light and gentle kind. There's a "Catch-22". The only way the viewer can procure the needed "data" is to meet the "viewee" directly, an action that he, the viewer, is not willing to take in his state of uncertainty.

I have no effective answer to this dilemma that is palatable to most people, but I have an idea for those whose psychological make-up includes a dash of "throwing caution to the wind".

If you describe a "Justice of the Peace" as someone who verifies signatures, then a newly invented professional called a "Justice of the Photo" would be someone who makes direct contact with a particular individual in order to verify for others, the degree to which the real person matches the photos posted in Catholic Match. In summary the job of Justice of the Photo can be divided into two steps: (1) a meeting with the "viewee" to determine to how the real person compares to pictures in Catholic Match and (2) subsequently being available to answer other members who inquire whether a given man or woman looks anything like the photos in age and other traits.

Here is how it would work. A member of Catholic Match who'd like to have his photos evaluated for how honestly they represent the real him would write something like this and post it further down the page of this topic.

"I can't blame people who have serious reservations about member photos. I think that doubts about my pictures may be stopping some woman from considering even a slight bit of light communication. I can claim that I look like my pictures, but my opinion will be seen as prejudiced. I need a third-party to check the degree to which I do or do not match my photos and then to be willing to reply to inquiries from other members who want to know how I compare to my photos. If you would be willing to meet somewhere at your convenience for as little time as a single minute, let me know. I can't pay much, but a coffee or the like will be on me. Since this meeting will be for a practical matter and not social one, I'll meet with any woman willing to be a Justice of the Photo for me no matter her age, seven-questions status or other trait. Just send me a message to that effect either on this page or by email."

If this seems like a sneaky way to meet someone, I'd say that could be true only if I knew who'd be replying, but since I have no idea which, if any, of the hundreds of women members in greater NYC might respond, my approach does not have a high-percentage chance of meeting any particular woman.

I welcome other men who could use the services of a Justice of the Photo, also to post their requests here.

Also I invite women in any part of the country to offer to be a Justice of the Photo in your neck of the woods because some of us men feel too awkward to ask.

In closing, I repeat my request to be contacted by any woman in greater NYC willing to act as my Justice of the Photo.

Drinking only from containers that are pitcher perfect, wave wink

John


Jun 30th 2014 new

balloon balloon You always come up with the most inventive and original ideas!

We all wish we were slimmer and better-looking, so we choose the most flattering snaps. Why not? And no harm done if the reality isn't quite as good.

Personally, I put very little faith in photos and keep my expectations low when going to meet someone.

Jun 30th 2014 new
John, your too funny. laughing laughing laughing

Having met you last year in Philly, I will gladly be your Justice of the Photo John.

I can attest that John matches his photos.
Jun 30th 2014 new
That's actually a good idea John. There are people here who have met each other and can vouch for each other's photo match accuracy. Maybe there can be a special section for that. smile
Jun 30th 2014 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said:

You always come up with the most inventive and original ideas!

We all wish we were slimmer and better-looking, so we choose the most flattering snaps. Why not? And no harm done if the reality isn't quite as good.

Personally, I put very little faith in photos and keep my expectations low when going to meet someone.

Thanks for the positive feedback. BTW do you also have a positive feed bag? That would be even better unless it's bitter. mischievous

I thought that having some assurance that a member's photo were representative of the real person might be enough to make a difference in a borderline case such as when a woman is considering a man who is a year or two older than her preference. scratchchin

Even for people who, like you, "put very little faith in photos", third-party confirmation may make the difference between total silence and a bit of communication.

Jun 30th 2014 new
(quote) Josephine-586127 said: John, your too funny.

Having met you last year in Philly, I will gladly be your Justice of the Photo John.

I can attest that John matches his photos.
Hi Josephine,

Thanks for volunteering to be my Justice of the Photo. I don't even have to tell women members who want photo confirmation to send an email to you. I can just send them a link to your post about seeing me in Philly in 2013.

John
Jun 30th 2014 new
(quote) Josephine-586127 said: That's actually a good idea John. There are people here who have met each other and can vouch for each other's photo match accuracy. Maybe there can be a special section for that.
Yes, Josephine, you add a different version of what I had in mind, but it is easier than mine for those people who have already seen each other. If, say "Bill" knows that "Jane" has seen him at a Catholic Match event he can ask her permission to mention, in his communication with women, that they can contact her regarding the how close his pictures come to reality ("Bill" as he looks now).

One thing that I suppose has to be kept in mind is that anyone who tries to find a Justice of the Photo has to live with whatever the Justice of the Photo tells the party seeking photo comfirmation. No one should expect a Justice of the Photo to act as a spin doctor or PR man. scratchchin eyebrow


Jul 1st 2014 new
An interesting and related question is, "Do you sometimes decide against either, on the one hand, making initial contact with or, on the other hand, responding to another member because of doubts about whether the photos match the current appearance of the real person?

Note that this question is not the same as asking whether the pictures affect your decision. My question is rather about whether doubts about the "honesty" of the photos influence your course of action.

An example of where doubts about the "real-time, truthfulness" are the deciding factor is when a member says to himself, "I'd contact her if I had some kind of solid evidence that she really looks like her photos, but I think these pictures are are least ten years old and I need evidence from a third party before I enter into any kind of communication." scratchchin
Jul 2nd 2014 new
I suppose that some of the hints and tools at the following link might help test aspects of validity in certain photos: ijnet.org

Phighting phoney photo phoisters, cool shhh

John


Jul 2nd new
If you have the right connections, perhaps you could borrow from Homeland Security a small pellet of highly polished metal allegedly unearthed from a very old archaeological digging in Iraq. You place it on the coffee shop table on your first F2F to catch her reflection. It works when you concentrate this thought at it, "Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, showeth unto me her Doria Gray double", or some thing like it.
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