In reading the various forms, one topic I stumble across or one potential problem that I see that bursts red flags are those people who have been divorced and immediately jump back into the dating scene. They talk about two or three or more divorces and are looking for another spouse......this bothers me and while I am not a professional psychologist or anything of the sort I question a lot about their capabilities to maintain a relationship and if they are really seeking relationships with a clear mind and heart.
I grew up as a Catholic who does not believe in divorce. When we make our vows, we make them with God and unless death do us part, marriage is forever. Now, I understand there are certain situations where marriages do not work out or an outlier factor can be discovered about a spouse that is potentially harmful ( bad habits, dark pasts, etc), but at what point will these people realize that the cycle of perpetual dating and marriage are not answers to happiness?
People with failed marriages seeking pity really bother me, specifically because I wonder if they have taken the appropriate time to sit back and understand why their marriages in the past have failed? Have they considered that repetitious behavior and possibly a new relationship can effect the other person that they are looking to marry? If you ask me, it is not acceptable to be a perpetual divorcee. Not only that, but how many divorces are acceptable before you realize the problem is not with the spouses, but with you? If you have been divorced 3 or 4 times, there is one common denominator. It boggles my mind and honestly, makes me wary when a guy says, I have been divorced 2 times, but it wasn't my fault.
Co dependency is a very real issue. If you rely on someone else to make you happy with who you are, you are not ready for dating, much less marriage. Co dependency is a form of addiction and shows not only a low sense of self, but also low self esteem and that there are underlying issues you should be working on. One cannot expect to love someone else fully if they do not love themselves in the same way that God loves us as his children.
So I guess, we should all be wary of what we can bring to a potential spouse and we should all take a personal inventory to really know if we are really prepare to enter a life of matrimony. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, not a test and go or sampling at Baskin Robbins.
Felt like venting so now I have.