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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Here's a tip...

Jul 8th 2014 new
If you're not interested in someone or their profile, let them know. Leaving them hanging or ignoring their messages/emotigrams only increases the odds that they'll continue to send you more messages/emotigrams. It only takes two seconds to tell someone "Not interested". What's so hard about that?
Jul 8th 2014 new
Amen!

Jul 8th 2014 new
I agree. This is a Catholic website. Everyone should be respectful and honest when they are not interested in another member.
Jul 8th 2014 new
I've gotten to the point, were I really don't expect a response to messages/emotigrams, either because the women I messaged don't have a paid subscription, or they're just not interested. Anytime, there is a response, it's pretty much a surprise. This also includes where second & third replies. Now, if I feel that there might be some form of connection, and there isn't a response for a while, I will causally ask, how are they doing, and if there's no response then, I just assume they're not interested anymore.
Jul 8th 2014 new
Well, if they are not a paying member, is it realistic to expect them to pay for a subscription just to tell someone they aren't interested? And as far as increasing the odds that someone will continue sending them messages - plural - by not responding with a "not interested", I'd think that it would more likely have the opposite effect, that by the second unresponded-to message most people will get the point that the other party just isn't interested.

Yes, it is disappointing when somebody who appears to be a person we'd like to get to know completely ignores our messages. But then we have to remind ourselves to not get too invested too soon, before they've responded (or not). It's all part of the online search process. As hard as it is sometimes, we just have to move on when somebody doesn't respond the way we'd like them to. Personally I find it counterproductive to over analyze the reasons why they chose not to respond, or make the judgment that they are being rude, as we really don't know them, or what may be going on in their life at this very moment.
Jul 8th 2014 new
(quote) Michael-76823 said: Well, if they are not a paying member, is it realistic to expect them to pay for a subscription just to tell someone they aren't interested? And as far as increasing the odds that someone will continue sending them messages - plural - by not responding with a "not interested", I'd think that it would more likely have the opposite effect, that by the second unresponded-to message most people will get the point that the other party just isn't interested.

Yes, it is disappointing when somebody who appears to be a person we'd like to get to know completely ignores our messages. But then we have to remind ourselves to not get too invested too soon, before they've responded (or not). It's all part of the online search process. As hard as it is sometimes, we just have to move on when somebody doesn't respond the way we'd like them to. Personally I find it counterproductive to over analyze the reasons why they chose not to respond, or make the judgment that they are being rude, as we really don't know them, or what may be going on in their life at this very moment.
CM used to have a "not interested" button for replying but I guess it got tossed when they upgraded? Personally I think it should be brought back.
Jul 9th 2014 new
(quote) Jim-13836 said: CM used to have a "not interested" button for replying but I guess it got tossed when they upgraded? Personally I think it should be brought back.
"Not interested" is pretty brutal. Maybe we should imitate the example of the famous face-saving Chinese rejection slip. You press a button and a message is sent saying "We received your emoticon with rapturous joy. Unfortunately, we are altogether unworthy of your attention and after a date with you, would be unable either to face you again with all our inadequacies, or enjoy the company of anyone else. So, with immense regret, we must decline....."
Jul 9th 2014 new
(quote) Paul-1049651 said: "Not interested" is pretty brutal. Maybe we should imitate the example of the famous face-saving Chinese rejection slip. You press a button and a message is sent saying "We received your emoticon with rapturous joy. Unfortunately, we are altogether unworthy of your attention and after a date with you, would be unable either to face you again with all our inadequacies, or enjoy the company of anyone else. So, with immense regret, we must decline....."
It was delicate and not as verbose as you suggested.
Jul 9th 2014 new
Well I send out about 10 or so messages in a weeks period of time most of them never respond. If all those gals were to tell me they weren't interested honestly it would get to me and I'm a pretty confident guy. I'm ok with no response I just assume it to be not interested. Even if they did respond its no guarantee of continuing communication, or of a real world meet up, or even a relationship. Just enjoy each stage in its moment.
Jul 9th 2014 new
(quote) Paul-1049651 said: "Not interested" is pretty brutal. Maybe we should imitate the example of the famous face-saving Chinese rejection slip. You press a button and a message is sent saying "We received your emoticon with rapturous joy. Unfortunately, we are altogether unworthy of your attention and after a date with you, would be unable either to face you again with all our inadequacies, or enjoy the company of anyone else. So, with immense regret, we must decline....."
laughing Paul: You're right about the whole self-effacing tone being so effective in, well, saving face. All concerned know its just so much false humility, but it's also just so darn gracious. And the silence is so darn insulting.

Hope
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