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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Tomorrow that is. It is the 2 yr anniversary of Paul's death. I remember from last year that the anticipation of the anniversary of his dying was actually a lot worse than the actual day. All day I have felt a sense of dread, This year it seems like it's harder for my children than for me. Maybe because I got some good closure out on my retreat in Colorado in June. Praying that it will be a sweet time for all of us and not filled with anxious memories for the kids.


Jul 9th 2014 new
(quote) Kimberlie-1059215 said: Tomorrow that is. It is the 2 yr anniversary of Paul's death. I remember from last year that the anticipation of the anniversary of his dying was actually a lot worse than the actual day. All day I have felt a sense of dread, This year it seems like it's harder for my children than for me. Maybe because I got some good closure out on my retreat in Colorado in June. Praying that it will be a sweet time for all of us and not filled with anxious memories for the kids.


I do understand. June 8th was the 2nd anniversary of connie's death. Oddly enough, this year was a little harder than last year. You will be in my payers. Praying rosary
Jul 9th 2014 new
(quote) Kimberlie-1059215 said: Tomorrow that is. It is the 2 yr anniversary of Paul's death. I remember from last year that the anticipation of the anniversary of his dying was actually a lot worse than the actual day. All day I have felt a sense of dread, This year it seems like it's harder for my children than for me. Maybe because I got some good closure out on my retreat in Colorado in June. Praying that it will be a sweet time for all of us and not filled with anxious memories for the kids.


(((Hugs))) Kimberlie.

I will be praying for you tomorrow. I've always tried to do something special on that day. Normally we'd go to mass at the cemetery (being my husband's angelversary is on Memorial Day.) Maybe you can have a mass intention for Paul and go to mass and breakfast, or have a bonfire and write him letters (share them if they are comfortable) and let the smoke carry them heavenward. Whatever you do, I'm sure he will be especially close.

We went camping the first year and I thought some people would see it as being disrespectful, but it was something he would have loved. On our bike ride I was following my daughter and wondering/wishing why he couldn't be there with us. He was SUPPOSED to be there with us and then I saw my daughter and how she looked so much like her dad at that moment and I realized he is here, in our laughter, our smiles, our tears, our hearts.

Start a new tradition with your kids. Pitch a tent and eat lunch in there, go for a bike ride, or just throw rocks in a lake. The more you talk about him, the more they will talk about him and his memory will live on for them. Expect tears. They are healing. Good luck.
Jul 10th 2014 new
Hugs and prayers. hug Praying
Jul 10th 2014 new

It was seven years in March that Al died and each years year it was different not easier just different. I think we just have to take these days as they come without expectations and do whatever is best for us at that time. Our Father , brotherJesus. And Spirit of LOVE HOPE AND JOY are always with us on these days. God bless you.

Jul 10th 2014 new

hug hug

It gets better.

But you have to come up with coping mechanisms.

My husband died at Thanksgiving time -- so we don't do turkey at our house. Either we visit someone else or we camp or something. Our anniversary date coincides with a film fest, so I generally focus on that.

Unless your kids are young, I wouldn't worry about them. Each must mourn and remember -- or not! -- at his own pace.

Jul 10th 2014 new
Good point. It's a roller coaster ride.
Jul 12th 2014 new
I have been widowed for 12 years. The best advice I was given, through a widow support group was plan the day, do not let the day plan you. Make a decision to spend the day how you would like to remember your dearly beloved. SInce my children were 5-21 at the time we discussed what we would do. I learned the hard way it would differ each year. Blessings, Linda
Jul 12th 2014 new
Kimberlie,
By now you have managed to get through the day. I hope that your anticipation of the anniversary of your husband's death was worse than the actual day although I know that may not be true. The second year was more difficult for me - perhaps because other people pay more attention the first year and we are left more alone to figure it out the second year.
My husband died Dec 22nd and all the Christmas traditions which of course begin a good month before the holiday - just made it all the worse. I found I needed to create new traditions and the third year my son and I took a Caribbean cruise. Christmas day we were in Key West and celebrated mass in a beautiful chapel. The water, sun and people around me were a wonderful diversion. The key for me is how to move forward so that we are happy and those around us are happy also - maybe not every day but that it becomes a way of life. Balance, strength and happiness do return although there is still the occasional really bad day even 7 years later.

I have a plaque that I really like - by Washington Irving:
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love.

Thank God that we had a relationship worthy of grieving their loss. God will be with you through the hard days..................just ask for the strength to get through them. I believe everyone's suggestions are good ones. I would encourage you to think about a diversion for next year. Someplace you never went as a family and something you never did as a family - an adventure that belongs to you and your children.
God bless you and the kids.
bernie
Jul 12th 2014 new

Praying heart Prayers for your children & you. In time it will get easier for them.

There have been so many milestones in my family since Joe passed away 2 and a half years ago. We get sad but we also think about how he would be celebrating with us. How he IS celebrating with us. I'm wondering how he feels since I just found out I am going to be a grandma!

I am wishing your children peace & comfort in remembering their dad!

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