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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jul 13th new
Did you omit a comment or a link?
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Jul 13th new
(quote) Paul-1049651 said: Did you omit a comment or a link?
Lol thats funny! Makes you wonder who this statement is addressed to.....
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Jul 13th new
Botched that already!!

What are the views on "what was mine before we dated will always be mine"?? Till death do us part seems to have exited stage left way too often.
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Jul 13th new
(quote) Kirsten-1064175 said: Lol thats funny! Makes you wonder who this statement is addressed to.....
I got distracted while burying another jar of retirement fund in the back yard.
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Jul 13th new
Glad you started this topic. Wonder what folks views are. I have kids and a grandchild (probably will get more grandchildren) and have had friends suggest if I was to marry that I should have a pre-nup. I don't know what to think about it. As with many issues I sort of "sit on the fence" and love to hear lots of opinions. Thanks in advance to anyone commenting!😄
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Jul 13th new
Just the other day someone - I think it was on another CM thread? -- said that the Church frowns on prenups. If anyone has a source for this, I'd be curious.
Whatever the rights or wrongs of prenups, it seems clear that they're a by-product of post-1960's 'no fault divorce', which makes marriage essentially an option that can be nullified at the whim of either party. If we reverted to the law that prohibited divorce except in cases of adultery or cruelty, prenups would be much less of an issue. But that doesn't help one decide whether or not they're permissible in the state of affairs that currently exists.
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Jul 13th new
I have done quite a bit of research on this, and concluded that although the Catholic Church is against prenups in general, there is an exception is for older folks who already have children, and want to make sure that their children will get an inheritance.

www.americancatholic.org

Older people, especially those with children, should have a prenup. The worst case may be this scenario: Joe marries Mary; both are over 50 and have children. Both Joe and Mary have family heirlooms, but they don't have a will or don't address heirlooms in the will. Joe dies, Joe's family heirlooms go to Mary. When Mary dies, Joe's family heirlooms go to Mary's kids, which is not what Joe intended, and makes no sense. Similarly, Joe's life savings could end up with Mary's kids. Note that if you don't want your spouse to get at least half your estate, you will almost certainly need a prenup, although the details depend on state law. In other words, if your will gives everything to your kids, and nothing to your spouse, that would be against state law, unless there was a prenup.

In my own case, the will I signed 20 years ago is still appropriate, but it would become completely inappropriate and actually against state law if I remarry.

A properly worded prenup would address both divorce and death, with the emphasis on death for older people.

To state the obvious, if you don't have a will, you need one. If you have an old will, you should review it and update it if needed. You also need a health care power of attorney and a general power of attorney. I am amazed at how many people have none of these. I guess they don't want to think about death, even though their chance of death is 100%.

There are lots of articles about prenups on the web. I figure that if I remarry, we would sit down and make a financial plan and agreement well in advance of the marriage. A prenup would naturally flow from a well thought out financial plan. Perhaps some kind of trust makes sense, but you would probably need a lawyer to figure out the right way to handle the situation. Older folks just have more complex financial situations than young people starting out.

Richard


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Jul 13th new
(quote) Paul-1049651 said: Just the other day someone - I think it was on another CM thread? -- said that the Church frowns on prenups. If anyone has a source for this, I'd be curious.
Whatever the rights or wrongs of prenups, it seems clear that they're a by-product of post-1960's 'no fault divorce', which makes marriage essentially an option that can be nullified at the whim of either party. If we reverted to the law that prohibited divorce except in cases of adultery or cruelty, prenups would be much less of an issue. But that doesn't help one decide whether or not they're permissible in the state of affairs that currently exists.
I don't think you can be preparing for a valid marriage while at the same time making plans for a divorce. Estate planning should be okay, though. Older couples with children could probably benefit from estate planning.
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Jul 13th new
(quote) Carol-979839 said: Glad you started this topic. Wonder what folks views are. I have kids and a grandchild (probably will get more grandchildren) and have had friends suggest if I was to marry that I should have a pre-nup. I don't know what to think about it. As with many issues I sort of "sit on the fence" and love to hear lots of opinions. Thanks in advance to anyone commenting!😄
Carol, I believe some estate planning would be appropriate without having to actually makes plans for a divorce.
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