Regrettably each and everyone of us on here has had our heart broken at one time or another. And, apparently, some of those wounds are still fresh because I've seen some men and women on these forums including myself so I'm not pointing fingers, venting about their success on CM or lack thereof. I've seen some comments where essentially the theme is that "Men Are Dogs" or "Women Are Too Much Work". I don't like it. I don't like it when people make generalizations about groups especially when they're claiming to be devout Catholics who are dedicated to their faith. Nobody is perfect and none of us would ever be able to honestly admit to being infallible, but reading some of these comments honestly is a turn-off for me as I'm sure that it is with others as well.
There have been some women on here that I initially took interest in, but after reading some of their posts I honestly had no interest in communicating with them for a myriad of reasons. For one thing, I don't think that some men and women on here should honestly be on this dating website let alone any dating website because they're obviously not over a past relationship, engagement, marriage, etc. I know that some people have friends that sign them up or put pressure on them to "move on" from being single and urge them to get back out in the dating world so they join Catholic Match, Ave Maria, eHarmony, etc. and the thing is that they're not ready. IMHO you shouldn't be on a dating website if you're not totally committed 100% in your heart.
I just think that it's wrong when some women start comparing me to an ex especially when they haven't even taken the time to get to know me and who I am. We may have some things in common, but I'm not your ex. Someone once told me that the problem with living in the past is that there's no future in it. Sometimes people have a hard time letting go of their past and it's good men like me who are sometimes the unfortunate recipients of negative feelings that are intended to be directed at someone else who is no longer in the picture to be affected.
I believe that men and women are equal. Different, but equal. And as many times in the past that I've had my heart broken, I never lashed out at all women or made generalizations against all of them because one of them done me wrong. It's fine to joke about men and women if it's playful and done in good taste, but the problem is that it often gets personal and that's when the generalizations start coming up. "Well, that's a man for ya!" "What do you expect from a woman?" "You're surprised that men are idiots?" "Must be that time of the month again." These are just a few of the things that I've heard from both men and women and shame on the people who have said these things especially coming from Catholics and Christians who should know better.
Pointing is rude. Pointing fingers isn't much better. If you wish to be mired in your negativity, you're certainly entitled to do that, but I wish to be no part of it. If you're unhappy because you haven't found love after being on a website for almost a decade, perhaps the problem isn't men or women, but staring back at you in the mirror. Maybe you need to focus on self-improvement before making judgments against others and how they live their lives. To be fair, sometimes it takes longer for some of us to find love, but I think that there's a distinction to be made between people who wait a long time yet remain positive and optimistic versus those who wait a long time and spend most of it being very negative and jaded when others find happiness.
There are many success stories on Catholic Match, but by no means is there a guarantee that you will find love or marriage here. All we can do is the best that we can and I think that it is great when we use the forums to help one another and come together as a community. That is what I have tried to do here during my time at CM and although I haven't always succeeded, I sincerely have tried more often than not to accomplish that goal. I hope that what I said makes sense. Thank you for listening.