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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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At what point-

Jul 18th new
So many posts concerning judgments and overly optimistic ideals-

Is it healthy to have an overly optimistic view about everything? Or is it healthier to live life on life's terms and have a view of the world as a realistic optimist? I keep reading posts about people who point out flaws about baggage, debt, life situations, etc expecting the perfect person to walk into their lives.....the realistic optimist in me realizes this is a far fetched goal since all humans make mistakes or have struggles...if anything I feel that struggles and the not so good parts of life are tests of our will and faith in God....

So why do so many people claim that they refuse to date anyone with baggage, or someone who isn't financially stable, or someone who has a scarred past...I don't know...but being overly optimistic I feel is a gateway to disillusionment and false expectations...
Jul 18th new
(quote) Maria-1022025 said: Is it healthy to have an overly optimistic view about everything?

If you begin with 'overly', you compel the answer 'no, it isn't'. \
I don't think that the person who says "I don't want anyone with baggage" is an optimist. An optimist would say "We all have baggage, I'm sure we can deal with it".
Jul 18th new
(quote) Paul-1049651 said: If you begin with 'overly', you compel the answer 'no, it isn't'. \
I don't think that the person who says "I don't want anyone with baggage" is an optimist. An optimist would say "We all have baggage, I'm sure we can deal with it".
Anyone who says she likes to travel certainly must have some baggage.
Jul 19th new

Each day I wake up with an optimistic heart and mind and say, "It's going to be a good day and everything will turn out ok". However, there are times when I do have bad days and not everything turns out ok. It can be disappointing and frustrating because in spite of the negative events of my day, come tomorrow, I will again wake up an optimistic song in my heart.

I sometimes wonder why I continue to begin each day with happiness and joy and then experience inconveniences and obstacles that can take a good day and make it a not-so-good day. Why do I continue to look on the bright side of life each morning even when things sometimes happens and knocks me to the ground? It's like a prize fighter who in spite of being beat up and bloodied in the ring, continues to get back up and continues to fight his opponent to the very end. When I see this I think, "Man, admit defeat. You've had enough already".

On the flip side, in a way, it would be easier for me to begin the day with a realistic thought: "Today may be a rough day to progress through so don't get too happy and joyful; your happiness and joy could possibly be crushed. Keep your feelings moderate; not too happy and positive and not to gloomy and negative ". However, I would hate to be the type of person who wakes up each day with this negative view of the day and with an ugly personality and think it's going to be a bad day (or just a so-so day).

I guess my optimistic heart and mind with which I wake up each day is God's hope and trust is indeed alive in my life. In spite of being bloodied in the ring, being knocked to the ground with bruises, scrapes and pain, I get back onto my feet, ready to continue the fight. I attempt to fight the good fight each day and find the good and positive in each event and each person and each day.

Each disappointment and obstacle I encounter is God's way of teaching me, helping me to become stronger, helping me to gain wisdom and grace, helping me to increase my reliance on Him, helping me to increase my trust in Him.

To paraphrase a Bible verse: This is the day the Lord has made; rejoice and be glad in it. smile thumbsup

Jul 19th new

Good post!

Both extremes -- super-pickiness and super-optimism -- are focused on "what I'm going to get".

The trick to love is to find someone who makes you want to GIVE.

Jul 19th new
(quote) Marge-938695 said:

Both extremes -- super-pickiness and super-optimism -- are focused on "what I'm going to get".

The trick to love is to find someone who makes you want to GIVE.

whoa, Marge can I really force/trick someone to make me GIVE and take .... sounds like a kid GIVE me this or that .... and what is my response most likely 'NO', bc manner is to ask w/please may I then maybe a 'YES' .... whether I might/maybe picky or optimism should I be more attentive to what is surely best for me or us in the long term/timeframe .... just like I have to dress appropriately everything has to be just coordinate right/best otherwise wouldn't/result in disaster/chaos/suffering of some sort ...... maybe it isn't so much what I get, but what is best for harmony/peace within us and around us, esp on a daily basis by contributing generously into the pot/house/job/environment .... similarly is like making someone wanting by gentle/kind force to give would you also want/expect them to change to by conforming/perception for your end result eventually having more similar/common interest, which might be rare and possible gained .... somehow Marge you do/might have a great point and may have to contemplate on it more on your wisdom .....
Jul 19th new
I'm a bit confused here. Overly optimistic view about everything is not the same as refusing to date anyone with a baggage. Maybe you meant overly idealistic view?

Overly idealistic will relentlessly look for flawless prospective matches, the ones who are devout, faithful, loyal, honest, beautiful inside and out (meaning : physically), and have no baggage whatsoever because their life is perfect, and would love to date these overly idealistic no matter flawed these overly idealistic are.

There's nothing wrong about being overly optimistic.
I actually think it is good to be overly optimistic about everything, because this type could always see the brighter side of the picture.
Jul 19th new
Cute new picture, Marge.

I am an optimist because I choose to be one. But, what I find more important than hope is acceptance. Accepting my own past and what I have gone through, accepting that I am in the place right now that God wants me to be in and most importantly, accepting others with the same graciousness I expect to receive.

This site is overflowing with individuals looking for and needing acceptance. It means letting go of what it is you think you came here for and opening your heart to what God wants for you. It is all about giving...and giving up, in a good way. I'll take a heart of gold over a pot of gold any day!

Jul 19th new
(quote) Genie-920495 said: whoa, Marge can I really force/trick someone to make me GIVE and take .... sounds like a kid GIVE me this or that ....t
I believe Marge used the word "trick" in the sense of "a difficult thing to achieve or manage" (as in "walking up those narrow steps is tricky"), not in the sense of being "tricky", sly, crafty or dishonest. "Trick" and "tricky" can be tricky words!:)
Jul 19th new
(quote) Paul-1049651 said:  "Trick" and "tricky" can be tricky words!:)
like trick or treat (Holloween - just kidding of course but you never know will we!!!) it is matter of capsizing life on the way to the seashore ......
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