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This room is for general discussion that doesn't specifically fit into one of the other CatholicMatch rooms. Topics should not be overly serious as this is to be more of a "cafe setting."

Saint Peter's Square was created so that more people could be in the presence of the Pope and was named after Saint Peter, one of Jesus's apostles.
Learn More: Saint Peter

James Garner (actor most known for Maverick and The Rockford Files) died yesterday night, July 19, 2014. (Saint Nicholas of Tolentino, Patron Saint of the Souls in Purgatory, pray for him.)

In reading his short bio on Wikipedia ( en.wikipedia.org ), I came across this:
Garner was married to Lois Clarke, whom he met at an "Adlai Stevenson for President" rally in 1956. They married 14 days later on August 17, 1956. "We went to dinner every night for 14 nights. I was just absolutely nuts about her. I spent $77 on our honeymoon, and it about broke me."
They remained married for the next 58 years until his death.

Do you think that such a short courtship is still possible today?
Do you think it wise?
Or was his a rash decision that just happened to work out?





__________
"Marriage is like the Army; everyone complains, but you'd be surprised at the large number of people who re-enlist."
--James Garner
Jul 20th new
I suppose that some people are both very ready and very discerning. No one's 'luck' is so good as to carry them through for 58 years.
On another thread a whle back I told the story of someone I know who proposed to a woman he had known for only four hours. They're still happily married 41 years later. He didn't propose to her on their first date, but BEFORE their first date. He asked her out for a Saturday night. After making the date but a few days before it -- probably on the Wednesday or Thursday -- he found himself in a bar, chatting up an attractive young woman, when he realized: I'm really not enjoying this. So he excused himself, went to a phone booth (remember phone booths?), called his date-to-be and said "I know we're not due to see each other in Saturday, but I happen to be not far away -- may I drop by and see you?". (Before asking her out he had barely more than a nodding acquaintance with her). She said yes, he dropped over, they had coffee, they talked for four hours, and by the end of that, he knew she was for him and he knew she was for her. I can tell you that the man is extremely intelligent and almost uncannily intuitive; I don't know his wife as well but she is probably much the same. It happens, and, no, I don't suppose luck has much to do with it, except for their good luck in meeting each other in the first place.
Oh, incidentally, one of the things he told her in that first conversation was "I don't believe in divorce".
Jul 20th new
Funny you mentioned this, because I was still in awe since the other day, a coworker just told me how he and his wife got married just a week after they met.
He was 20 at the time while his wife was 18, and they've been married for 43 years and still going strong (his word, not mine).
I wish it could be that easy these days!

To answer your questions :

Since I've witnessed it firsthand (his wife is also an acquaintance), I do believe it could work for some people. I am just not sure it is possible today, 'though.

In Garner's case, he probably was so madly taken with Lois during those nights spent together, he decide so quickly he didn't want a life without her in it.

I don't think it's wise to hurry, but that's probably why it gets me nowhere to this day.
Jul 20th new
A friend I know married his wife after their first date. He said to me - You'll always have something new you have to learn about your spouse eventually, so why wait :) They've been together 15 years now :) Traditionally I think it's better to get to know someone as much as possible, but it is true you'll continue to learn about them no matter how long you've been together.
If getting married is the equivalent of getting a BS, I want to continue getting my PhD :)
Jul 20th new
Just curious ... : was he Catholic?

As to possibilities: Sure! If we manage to truly listen for and act on God's messages, He might just lead us to that 'chance' meeting.
Jul 20th new
I think that before the 60's this might have worked out. People did things like they had always done it (mostly the right way). It was a different culture and the Church was more traditional and conservative. Today, people have suffered spiritually aswell as emotionally to a higher degree than they probably did on average in those days (I'm thinking of online pornography, children/teenagers having sex, highly sexualized culture and media, schools promoting premarital sex, free abortions, contraception etc).

People didn't get physical before marriage as much as today, they talked, they solved problems by talking, not by running away from them. They were more mature.
I think all of this made it possible to know eachother a shorter period of time before getting married. I know this is a generalization, but it's a fact that people did stay together until death did them apart in much higher percentage than today.

Jul 20th new
(quote) David-870960 said: Just curious ... : was he Catholic?

As to possibilities: Sure! If we manage to truly listen for and act on God's messages, He might just lead us to that 'chance' meeting.
Nope, Jewish, and not very religious, either. But he had strong convictions about divorce, which he made clear right up front so she would be under no misapprehension. Now that you mention it he'd make a great Catholic, though!
Jul 20th new
(quote) Paul-1049651 said: Nope, Jewish, and not very religious, either. But he had strong convictions about divorce, which he made clear right up front so she would be under no misapprehension. Now that you mention it he'd make a great Catholic, though!
He was also totally GORGEOUS!! We women are so visual that I could not help myself. May he rest in peace and I loved his acting and character in The Rockford Files.
Jul 20th new
This doesn't necessarily address a short courtship or love at first sight scenario, but there's a lot of truth in the song by Andrew Peterson, Dancing in the Minefields. This version shows the lyrics very clearly.
www.youtube.com

Jul 20th new
All I have to say about that is that I dated the man I was married to until his death a little under 4 months and then we eloped to the Chapel of Love. I was not pregnant. He was 21 and I was 27. It shouldn't have worked, and yet it did. We started as friends and I said no 19 times before I caved in and said yes to going out. After that first date, we just knew. It wasn't always easy, but I have never been sorry that two super responsible people did it right. We both had faith and faith was central to the relationship. We had the Ecc 4: 9-12 love. When I find that again, it will be my Chapter Two.
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