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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Here is a good way to hold someone accountable, to prevent the question marks from arising when someone unexpectedly stops communicating with us.

Use your interview. People usually do not object to taking your interview. Mine has been called "intense" and some girls even say they almost cry, and they still take it! Yay!

Include this question or something close to it. I try to do a good job to cover the most probable answers within five multiple choice options.

"If we have good communication back and forth, especially when I think we are getting along quite well, what is it going to mean if I have not heard anything from you for six days? [Optional: Keep in mind, I will not stay interested in you nor waste my time on you if you treat me poorly without improvement.]" (I used 6 because that is the length of time from Sunday to Saturday, if someone can communicate only on the weekends.)

A. It means I am no longer interested in further communication, so let go of your hope of hearing anything else from me.

B. No matter what, I PROMISE to send you a message if I am no longer interested in further communication, within one week.

C. Something may have come up to keep me busy or occupied, and at a convenient opportunity, I PROMISE I will take the mere five minutes needed to send a message to give you an update and whether or not I am still interested in further communication.

D. Something probably came up to keep me busy or occupied and to make it simple, just never expect to hear from me again. I won't keep you waiting.

E. I would be taking time to think and pray about this, so please be patient, and I will get back to you. Do not be afraid to send additional messages because you think they might push me away. I would value and consider anything else you have to say during this time.

Anyone else that thinks of other probable answers I have not thought of, post below if you desire. May people read this topic and choose what they would want to hear as answers.

I am one of your problem-solving engineer's minds proposing a practical solution that should work. Let us be true to our word and keep the promise we make when answering this question or explain this issue up front.

CatholicMatch, maybe you can figure out a practical way to require a statement concerning this common issue on people's profiles? Maybe a multiple choice option or a fill in the blank with "When I do not respond after 6 days, it means __________."
Jul 22nd new
Your interview was not bad at all, after your post...I had to take it..LOL

I thought it was very insightful and interesting. You put a lot of thought into it, but no, did not make me cry! hahaha
Jul 23rd new
Honestly, if a guy doesn't respond after a few days, no matter how well I thought the communication was going, I assume that he's not interested for some reason and I move on. If I hear from him after that, fine, if not oh well.
For instance, last week, three different men on here asked me for my number and the communication was going relatively well with two of them (one was kinda out of the blue). But that week? I had a family issue; my aunt miscarried a baby in the second trimester and then had to have a hysterectomy. She was in the hospital for several days, then the rest of her children were sick, then we had the funeral for the baby. Also, my boss blamed me for something that wasn't entirely my fault, and it hurt because I realized that he was (and still is) looking for a reason to fire me. It's also still kind of soon after my last CM relationship ended, and it still stings that I wasn't good enough for him.
All in all, I was not in the mood to give out my number and flirt with anyone for the past several days. And it's not because I'm being rude, it's just that life gets in the way sometimes. So for CM to "require a statement" from me detailing why I didn't get back to some guy I never met in addition to a hard week would REALLY be a buzzkill.
How about this: just be patient and recognize that not everyone is 100% available all the time, even when they truly believe that they are called to the married life and are actively seeking love.

Jul 23rd new
Hi Aisleigh,welcome to the Forums wave
Jul 23rd new
People may have unknown reasons they are unable to contact you that are beyond their control, so I never discount them in a negative manner. I have to admit things have gotten a little quite for me, and I kind of like it :) lol. When she doesn't respond I leave it at that and pace myself. I'm in no rush. If she messages back, cool, if not, oh well. I try not to get too attached unless something more is happening between us, and I can't see that happening unless we're actually dating. I have been staying in touch with one person, and that for me is good enough. I'll stay the course and see what happens.
When my friend emailed his wife for the first time, I think it took like three weeks before she responded. It might have been 3 months, but they took their time and now they're married. biggrin
Jul 24th new
Heck, I haven't got a reply back from any of the women within 100 miles of me as well :/ Not many more to try and connect with on her. Only other option is to try POF or something which is kinda trashy imo when it comes to the quality of people!
Jul 24th new
(quote) Tom-1111642 said: Heck, I haven't got a reply back from any of the women within 100 miles of me as well :/ Not many more to try and connect with on her. Only other option is to try POF or something which is kinda trashy imo when it comes to the quality of people!
very warm welcome to the fora Tom wave smile
Jul 24th new

How about:

F. I have a busy life and you are as yet only a very small part of it; if you give me a chance, maybe you will become a big part of it. Or maybe not. Meantime, chill out, dude.

Not everyone logs in on a daily or regular basis.

Jul 25th new
(quote) Marge-938695 said:

How about:

F. I have a busy life and you are as yet only a very small part of it; if you give me a chance, maybe you will become a big part of it. Or maybe not. Meantime, chill out, dude.

Not everyone logs in on a daily or regular basis.

As usual, Marge, you speak words of wisdom. Are you related to Paul McCartney's mother? :-)
Jul 25th new
(quote) Myrton-1093185 said: As usual, Marge, you speak words of wisdom. Are you related to Paul McCartney's mother? :-)

No, but I know all the songs she would know.


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