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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Adoption as a single person?

Jul 25th 2014 new
Hi, I recently read an amazing story of a young American woman who moved to Uganda to volunteer and ended up adopting 14 children and raising them in her own. The book is called "Kisses from Katie". It made me consider giving up on dating and just adopting on my own because I really love children. Give me your opinions on this, since single adoption is not an official catholic vocation. I would appreciate hearing from you.
Jul 25th 2014 new

Hi Nneka,

Thanks for a great post!

Yes, I have always been interested in adoption. Even at my ripe age! Hehe!! I also think that if you are a responsible, caring, individual that it is fine to adopt as a single person. There are so many children out there that need love.

I too have always loved children and even though I have never married, the strong desire for children has never left my heart. I have to say, it is hard to find men at my age that want to have children for the first time or that want to start over at this age.

But, for me, I trust in the Lord, as HE knows what is best for me. I always say, "His Will, not mine." I just keep praying!

I am happy for all those who have found their soul mates and have children. I take the opportunity to offer to babysit and be around my relative's and friend's children. There I get my baby/child fix! I am good friends with a couple, that at my age, adopted a 5 day old baby, 4 years ago. They couldn't be happier!

You are still young. Never give up! But, if through prayer, you still have the desire for children, I would definitely look into it. You could also check with Catholic Charities.

I am excited to read the book you mention. Who knows, maybe that is just the push I need! :o)

I wish you all the blessings of God! Keep praying and I will keep you in my prayers also! Jesus I Trust In You! Veronica


Jul 25th 2014 new
(quote) Nneka-884955 said: Hi, I recently read an amazing story of a young American woman who moved to Uganda to volunteer and ended up adopting 14 children and raising them in her own. The book is called "Kisses from Katie". It made me consider giving up on dating and just adopting on my own because I really love children. Give me your opinions on this, since single adoption is not an official catholic vocation. I would appreciate hearing from you.

Hi Nneka,

I was speaking with a friend of mine recently and he suggested this book to me. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but it is on my "Books to read list."

Pray like crazy and keep us posted!

His Blessings,

Ruth



Jul 25th 2014 new
Hi Nneka, I think its wonderful what you want to do. Im not really sure how the Catholic Church views single parent adoptions. I dont know if there are any guidelines against it, but just as my opinion, I am for it. While the traditional family is the ideal, our world is so broken at this point, and so many children need stable homes, that it seems right to try to make a bad situation better any way we can. In my view, even a single parent who is not well off, but cares and shows love to a child is better than what some face without that positive person stepping in. I am a single parent myself. I have definitely been advised by some family, friends, and priests that I should seek marriage, but they all also agree that its not the end of the world if that doesnt happen. I also feel that I will be ok to continue raising my children as a single parent if need be. Children are a gift from God and I have always felt so much joy being a mother. Not easy in some ways, but they are worth every difficulty! I agree with Veronica, lets pray for His will to be done in our lives. If you feel He is leading you to motherhood by adoption, try to make that dream a reality. Its very selfless and thoughtful of you to consider this. God Bless and I hope the best for you.


Jul 25th 2014 new
I don't know what the official view is either but my personal feeling is that offering a child in need a warm and nurturing home can only be a good thing. There are so many children who need love and security. I am a single mother of 2 boys and feel called to foster/adopt at some point in the future. Being a mother is so amazing and has brought me closer to God and to the Church - even though my family is not currently a traditional one (though I would love for it to become one someday). I agree to pray for His will - that is what I've been doing as well.

Jul 25th 2014 new

Have you read every thread in the Single Parents forum? scratchchin

Being the only parent is not an easy path. I greatly admire those who do it from choice. But my own experience has been, the joy in parenthood was the sharing of it with my husband. Alone...it's pretty dismal....

Jul 25th 2014 new
My father once told me "Don't believe everything you read".
Jul 25th 2014 new
I absolutely love the idea of adoption. My brother is adopted from South Korea and I have a few cousins who are also adopted. I have looked into international adoption. From my own research, I have read that if you adopt from another country singles are limited to only a few countries. Each country has their own guidelines and some of them do not accept single applicants which is really unfortunate. I can't imagine that the Catholic Church would be against a single person taking a child out of an orphanage and into a loving home. My brother was adopted from Holt International- http://www.holtinternational.org They only work in certain areas or there might be another agency in your area. You can also look into adoption locally. Thank you for posting this in the forums. What a great topic!
Jul 25th 2014 new
Nneka, I think that loving and raising a child who has no one else is a beautiful, selfless, kind act that will change your life. In fact when I turned thirty I seriously had considered doing the same thing. But you have to be sure that you understand what you're getting into. I decided to become a foster mother prior proceeding with adoption, to first to try the single parenting out. And let's just say actually being a parent was a beautiful thing, however the intrusion of the state and family services upon my home and into the lives of the children I had under my care, came to be too much. I often fostered older children 12, 13, 14, who often had a TON of unfortunate circumstances happen to them which had I been informed about them, would have truly changed my style of parenting them when they were with me. But often times this info was never disclosed to foster parents and the often violent, upsetting, residiual effects of their pasts that I had been totally unaware of, ended up causing me to cease fostering after a few years. Not knowing 'your' child's past can make it awfully difficult to be the best parent you can be to that child. And because I was a single 'mom' (though most people I encountered tended to not feel as if this was true 'mothering'...) it was that much more difficult having the state constantly checking up on me and 'my' kids. All they wanted to do was to be able to be kids and all I wanted to do was to love and raise them. It is extremely unfortunate how these children are treated and often put on meds and moved around way too much to create any normalcy and stability in their lives in the foster care system (in the state where I live in the US anyway). Anyway, here in NJ a large percentage of energies of adoption are fueled from the foster care system, and though I'll admit I have no idea if the government is as intrusive upon one's life as they are when kids are temporarily placed in homes, it is something to consider. And if you do end up adopting an older child (these are often the beautiful little people that feel abandoned by the world, as if they are not good enough to be anyone's child...) try, try, try, try, try so very hard to learn and know of their past so as to be able to give him/her/them the type of parenting that is befitting to who he/she/they are in terms of what they've been through and the kind of love and direction and love they need to grow into the person God wishes for them to be. Praying for you in your search for a child(ren?)... Praying rosary Dove
Jul 25th 2014 new
A Facebook friend of mine recently did a mission trip to her Kupendwa ministries just this year...I don't know much about her or situation but, keep in mind she deals with teenage mothers and children all day everyday!!
The cost of living US vs Uganda is widely different...keep that in mind!! I personally want to raise kids with a husband not by myself!! If you don't already you should get a dog (I know it's not even close to having a kid) and see how you like it...Or volunteer to babysit for your friends kids for an extended period of time!!
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