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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Providing

Aug 1st 2014 new
In the garden of Eden akk material needs were provided. Adam failed to provide protect to Eve when Satin tempted.

In 2014 "The man is to provide for his family" is well accepted. Is it more important for a man to provide material needs or spiritual? Is there a ratio between the two?

What happens when a man is physically limited, i.e. disabled? Before or after marriage?
Aug 1st 2014 new

I know with my married kids(5. now in wedded bliss the girls have taken maternity leave of up to a year and now have a couple of kids and work 3 days a week. Men are working full time.I think the person who has the most family friendly working conditions should be the one to work full time. I think that it is such an individual thing that it should be decided on before children come into the picture If one partner has a disability and cant work then it is an obvious choice.

For better or worse, in sickness and in health and so forth


Aug 1st 2014 new

How are we defining "provide"?

In this day and society, women are more than able to provide material comforts for themselves.

The most important things a spouse (of either sex) provides are: emotional support, encouragement, advice, kindness, forgiveness, and hope.

Aug 1st 2014 new
(quote) Claire-247015 said:

I know with my married kids(5. now in wedded bliss the girls have taken maternity leave of up to a year and now have a couple of kids and work 3 days a week. Men are working full time.I think the person who has the most family friendly working conditions should be the one to work full time. I think that it is such an individual thing that it should be decided on before children come into the picture If one partner has a disability and cant work then it is an obvious choice.

For better or worse, in sickness and in health and so forth


Does disability occurring before marriage, dating, or first meeting change the for better or worse part?
Aug 1st 2014 new
(quote) Clair-6292 said: Does disability occurring before marriage, dating, or first meeting change the for better or worse part?
Ideally it shouldn't change anything, if you really love the person, especially the closer you get to marriage. After marriage it shouldn't matter at all. But I am a diehard romantic. What do i know?
Aug 1st 2014 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said:

How are we defining "provide"?

In this day and society, women are more than able to provide material comforts for themselves.

The most important things a spouse (of either sex) provides are: emotional support, encouragement, advice, kindness, forgiveness, and hope.

The woman's proper role is to be taking care of the children, not providing for the material needs of the family. Obviously, there are situations which require the latter; however, often the distinction between lifestyle choices and necessity is not made.

Aug 1st 2014 new
(quote) Clair-6292 said: Does disability occurring before marriage, dating, or first meeting change the for better or worse part?
Clair
I think that spouses are a team. They work together with the help of God to handle the hardships that come their way.
If one party has an impairment of any kind prior to the marriage they have a duty to be totally open about that impairment and all it ramifications in advance. Then the vows are the vows for better or worse, in sickness or in health.....
However, if one party has an impairment of some kind and they deliberately conceal it or it's known ramifications from the other In order to insure the marriage takes place this deceit can invalidate the marriage.
I don't think there's any hard and fast rule about when to discuss such things but definitely well before vows are taken. I would think one would want to anyway to be sure that things were going to be fully embraced and supported.
Hope that helps.
Cindy
Aug 1st 2014 new
I believe in traditional roles, as Jerry described. I also like Cindy response that spouses are a team. My experience was that I had to step-up as a provider and work two jobs since my former spouse was an alcoholic. I didn't resent him for it because I loved him and just assumed a leadership role as he battled addiction.
Aug 1st 2014 new
I believe in traditional roles, as Jerry described. I also like Cindy response that spouses are a team. My experience was that I had to step-up as a provider and work two jobs since my former spouse was an alcoholic. I didn't resent him for it because I loved him and just assumed a leadership role as he battled addiction.
Aug 1st 2014 new
Hi Claire,
I think that as long as the man's heart is pure and as long as he is in agreement with God then regardless of his inabilities to provide for his family materialistically then God will provide for his family where the man cannot. Just as long as the man doesn't allow his inability to provide for his family to be from his own ignorance. After all the bible does say that if we sin in our ignorance it is still a sin. The bible is full of stories where the man had failed to provide for his wife and/or children but it was God who came to the rescue. Example: Abraham and Sarah, when Abraham went around telling kings that Sarah was his sister and when the kings made a pass at her, it was God who protected her virtue. Another story is Lot. Where Lot offered his own daughters to the people of Sodom & Gomorrah, but it was God who protected his family. God is essentially the glue in a marriage and in a family. Humans are prone to sin and we will never be perfect, yet as long as we keep God first in our lives then when we fall down in life it will be God to be there to pick us up and help us out. I believe that when it comes to the head of the house, it shouldn't be the man but instead it should be God that is the head of the house.
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