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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Came across this article tonight and thought it was an interesting read, being myself an introvert. Society tends towards extroversion, especially in the United States it seems and introverts in general are often misunderstood as being "shy" or "anti-social" when it really has nothing to do with a single interaction with people but rather whether interacting with people is energizing (extroversion) or tiring (introversion) and thus how one chooses to interact with people over the course of time.

Seeing as how I currently live with a roommate who has no idea how to treat an introvert such as myself, I thought it might be a helpful read for those of you trying to understand more introverted partners or hopeful partners. Not everything applies to every introvert, of course, but you have to have some place to start!

16 Things You Need to Know Before Dating an Introvert
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Aug 2nd new
The article wasn't loading correctly in my browser, but I will definitely agree with you, it's tough being an introvert in the dating scene, perhaps more so for us guys, who are usually expected to be the ones to reach out and ask the lady to go out on the first date (and perhaps most of the dates thereafter). I don't really have a problem conversing with people generally, but when it comes to actually asking out a girl I like it gets really difficult. But few are the women still today who will be the first one to act, and such is the dilemma. I just have to learn that if I like a woman enough to want to go out with them, I have to get over my anxieties around them enough to step up and make the first move. At the same time, I have to hope/help them understand that even if I seem tired or nervous, it's not because I'm some creepy guy or whatever, it's just that I'm not used to being around other people and opening up as much.
Aug 2nd new
(quote) Pamela-880383 said:  introverts in general are often misunderstood as being "shy" or "anti-social" when it really has nothing to do with a single interaction with people but rather whether interacting with people is energizing (extroversion) or tiring (introversion) and thus how one chooses to interact with people over the course of time.

Did you find that your Temperament correctly describes your introverted nature? scratchchin wink
Aug 2nd new
I'm definitely an introvert - that list was great. I can do social things, talk to clients all day long but I *have* to have a good amount of quiet time to wind down afterwards.
Aug 2nd new
(quote) Dave-146273 said: Did you find that your Temperament correctly describes your introverted nature?
Actually, looking back at it, no. Some parts are accurate, of course, but I'm a very extroverted introvert and usually very personable in small groups. Most of my co-workers don't believe me when I say that I'm an introvert though if anyone takes one look at my hobbies - gaming, books, etc. that should be pretty obvious. So I guess my sanguine side shows pretty strongly on the outside and its my phlegmatic side that's harder to see until you really know me in person, which is opposite what my test says, but sort of makes sense from the perspective of a test-taker.
Aug 2nd new
(quote) Ben-1081622 said:  At the same time, I have to hope/help them understand that even if I seem tired or nervous, it's not because I'm some creepy guy or whatever, it's just that I'm not used to being around other people and opening up as much.
It's interesting...you would think that introverts would get each other better than extroverts understand us, but from interactions with other introverts, I have to remind myself that we're all individuals, even as introverts. It's a good reminder that we can't take each other for granted and can't assume we automatically "get" each other right away.
Aug 2nd new

Pamela,

I was very introverted, shy to the point of pain. One of my first girlfriends was also introverted. I had a hard time dealing with that awkward silence, so I started carrying the conversation. That got me started at being less shy. You have to break the ice eventually and anyone who you date should try to help you do just that. After all you need that support and be like a team mate to you to help you find the kind of person you need to be. But not every one is going to accept you for your introverted self. Be patient with people, some may treat you like you have antennae growing out of your head. You are not weird you are just a little different. I know what you are going through and it is not easy. Dating is a challenge and can be a good thing. Take every situation as a special and different.

Good luck in your journey and enjoy the prize when you get it,

Robert

Aug 2nd new
See, that's a huge misinterpretation of introversion. I am not at all what people would call shy. There's a reason most of my co-workers say there is no way I could be an introvert - I have no problem speaking to people, on a one-to-one or small group basis. I also have no problem going up and giving talks when I'm confident about the subject - I led several apologetics groups for years, speak up regularly in classes, and teach for a living.

However, put me in a large group setting and I will switch to one of two modes - I will either find a small group of people that I know and talk with them or I will go and people watch (and enjoy myself while doing so). And after being with people for a long time I will need to be by myself or with someone I am very comfortable with (i.e. a significant other or best friend) in order to recharge. I think nothing of staying home on a Friday night, or all weekend, reading or gaming.

Introverts can be extremely personable, they just have to recharge with alone time. Extroverts recharge by being out with others. It has nothing to do with shyness. Meet me in person and you will have no idea that I am an introvert unless I tell you so. We just find interacting with people to be emotionally tiring instead of energizing.
Aug 2nd new
Thank you for sharing that; I really enjoyed reading it. I would also recommend reading Susan Cain's Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a world that can't Stop Talking.
Aug 2nd new

Pamela,

It usually follows that an introvert is shy. Not knowing you personally, most people jump to the conclusion you are shy. Sorry misjudge you, but like I have stated not knowing you leads to misunderstandings.

Good luck,

Robert

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