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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

There's nothing nastily suggestive in it, by any means. It's perhaps a bit of banter or a witticism---an invitation to a friendly exchange. You're not thinking marriage, romance or even lifetime friendship. You'd just like to talk to someone, maybe share a laugh or smile.

And all you get from the person you've taken the time to communicate with is dead silence ... essentially a refusal to reply.

Now I'm not necessarily talking about the propriety or courtesy of not responding at all, at least not yet (though, as you might imagine, I have an opinion on it). Instead, I'm interested in your reaction.

Seriously ... how do you take it when you send someone a message, they take a look at your profile ... and then refuse to even communicate with you in any way? Now, granted, you can't require someone to find you attractive or personable, but considering the ease with which one may communicate here, well ... it's certainly definitive.

So, do you:

  • Shrug your shoulders, think nothing of it, and move on
  • Find it mildly irritating and then let it go
  • Laugh at their utter lack of taste and perceptiveness
  • Take it very much to heart as a judgment of your unworthiness to communicate with the outside world
  • Try again, putting a little more effort and thought into your communique
  • Message them a second time to tell them exactly what you think of them
  • Sigh and wonder what God is trying to tell you
  • Oftentimes don't even remember you sent someone a message unless they respond

I've done any and all of these over time (though it's been quite a few years since I told someone off). I'm curious, though, how you handle it.

Let me know, here.

Aug 6th new
Joseph you certainly have a way with words. I always reply, always. It never occurred to me to write back and give them a piece of my mind. That sounds scary. I have to say that mostly people do reply and they certainly don't think that I am wanting to get serious with them I write to people with interesting profiles both men and women. I have made some great friendships over the years I write to people who live thousands of miles away as well. I am in no rush to meet someone. You never know whats around the corner though.
Aug 6th new
May I add another bullet point (or 2) to your list?
  • Chalk it up to another case of "un-paid member-itis" --the inability of "free membership holders to read or return messages other than mind-numbing emotes
  • Petition CM to add a feature that tells paid members when they're waiting for a response from someone who isn't paid up

Aug 6th new
<-- forgot to close the quotation after "free membership"
Aug 6th new
(quote) Virginia-182942 said: <-- forgot to close the quotation after "free membership"
We'll let you slide just this once...... but in the future don't let it happen again!! laughing
Aug 6th new
(quote) Jim-13836 said: We'll let you slide just this once...... but in the future don't let it happen again!!
I try to never make the same mistake... New and different mistakes mean I'm learning.
Aug 6th new
(quote) Joseph-924851 said: Seriously ... how do you take it when you send someone a message, they take a look at your profile ... and then refuse to even communicate with you in any way? Now, granted, you can't require someone to find you attractive or personable, but considering the ease with which one may communicate here, well ... it's certainly definitive.

So, do you:

Shrug your shoulders, think nothing of it, and move onFind it mildly irritating and then let it goLaugh at their utter lack of taste and perceptivenessTake it very much to heart as a judgment of your unworthiness to communicate with the outside worldTry again, putting a little more effort and thought into your communiqueMessage them a second time to tell them exactly what you think of themSigh and wonder what God is trying to tell youOftentimes don't even remember you sent someone a message unless they respond

I've done any and all of these over time (though it's been quite a few years since I told someone off). I'm curious, though, how you handle it.

Let me know, here.

Think nothing of it and move on.
Aug 6th new
(quote) Joseph-924851 said: Seriously ... how do you take it when you send someone a message, they take a look at your profile ... and then refuse to even communicate with you in any way? Now, granted, you can't require someone to find you attractive or personable, but considering the ease with which one may communicate here, well ... it's certainly definitive.

So, do you:

Shrug your shoulders, think nothing of it, and move onFind it mildly irritating and then let it goLaugh at their utter lack of taste and perceptivenessTake it very much to heart as a judgment of your unworthiness to communicate with the outside worldTry again, putting a little more effort and thought into your communiqueMessage them a second time to tell them exactly what you think of themSigh and wonder what God is trying to tell youOftentimes don't even remember you sent someone a message unless they respond

I've done any and all of these over time (though it's been quite a few years since I told someone off). I'm curious, though, how you handle it.

Let me know, here.

Think nothing of it and move on.
Aug 6th new
(quote) Nicole-1018166 said: Think nothing of it and move on.
Twice, no less.
Aug 7th new
(quote) Claire-247015 said: It never occurred to me to write back and give them a piece of my mind. That sounds scary.

I wonder if that's in some measure because men do more of the pursuing and are thus ignored more often. We experience that feeling of 'rejected as unworthy of even a response' (unless we're some sort of moneyed demigod) on a far more regular basis than women, who are, generally, much more often making the choices. It's not easy to put yourself out there. It is easy (or at least easier) to simply ignore the person who makes that effort.

"Scary"? I'm not sure what you mean by that, Claire. I don't mean I threatened the person with a mob-style hit or even engaged in a lengthy, profanity-laced diatribe ... but I have in the past taken it personally enough that I wanted to sting them back a little bit ... to let them know that their refusal to respond is affecting a real person, even though I perhaps don't quite qualify as "a real person" in the landscape of their perceptions at that point. Is that gracious or graceful? Absolutely not. Is it, in my opinion, understandable and all-too-human? Yes.

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