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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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What does this really mean?

Aug 8th 2014 new
wave wave I was just doing a search in Ireland because I am planning a trip there and I was surprised to see that nearly every second person was "Never Married" some said yes" to children. One gent told me that because he was married outside the Church. another denomination or civilly and that marriage did not really exist according to the Priests, Bishops. I am curious to know why the clergy are telling people this. "no you have never been married" wondering what other folk think or maybe have come across.
Aug 8th 2014 new
I don't belive someone has (or is) married unless they've been married in the church or by a priest/pastor. A civil marriage is nothing more than paperwork for the government. It's the same as living together before marriage, but with papers to state it.
Aug 8th 2014 new

Thanks Amber

The problem I have with a NEVER MARRIED in the profile is that some folk who are my age put this answer up and then say that they are FREE TO MARRY. They should, I think put DIVORCED. Because legally they are divorced.

Aug 8th 2014 new
Legally, yes they're divorced. But it's different if they're divorced from a Christian marriage, versus a government one. Maybe that's why some put 'never married' even if they've been in a civil marriage.

I do agree it can be confusing on a site like this. CM should have some more options to chose from.
Aug 8th 2014 new
going to the FAQ section of CM one can find the following information in regards to marital status:

What marital status should I list in my profile?

July 29, 2014 08:37

When choosing the marital status to display in your profile, please keep these definitions in mind:

  • Never Married - You have never been married, either in a church or civil ceremony and have never been classified as being in a common law marriage.
  • Divorced - You have received a legal divorce and do not have an official annulment or lack of form documentation. This status also applies if you were not legally married to your spouse at the time of passing.
  • Annulled - You have received a final decree of nullity or lack of form documentation from your diocese, tribunal, or ruling church authority and can provide documentation showing that you are free to marry in the Catholic Church.
  • Widowed - Your spouse passed away while you were legally married.
  • Married - You are married in the eyes of the law and have not received a final divorce decree. If this is your status, we cannot offer our services to you until your divorce has been finalized.
I think the above puts it pretty clearly in the text above what "Never Married" means for anyone choosing that as their status - and if it is not the case a Help ticket can be opened with CM to address it I believe. I would stress that it should be done via a help ticket for the privacy of those involved. It may very well be an honest mistake that someone chose the wrong status.

The actual FAQ page here on CM addressing the above can be found at the following URL:
catholicmatch.zendesk.com

Aug 8th 2014 new
Maybe the marriage didn't exist in the eyes of the Church. But there's still an ex-wife, maybe alimony, maybe children and child support, too.
Aug 8th 2014 new
(quote) Amber-1078229 said: I don't belive someone has (or is) married unless they've been married in the church or by a priest/pastor. A civil marriage is nothing more than paperwork for the government. It's the same as living together before marriage, but with papers to state it.
Marriages outside the Church may be valid if both parties are non-Catholic or if a Catholic has received a dispensation from the requirement for canonical form.

While marriages of Catholics outside the Church are generally not valid from the Church's perspective, they are, nonetheless, valid legal marriages that carry with them certain potential legal implications. Living together as husband and wife with another person and the subsequent divorce are also significant life events that a person looking for a match might want to take into consideration. In fact, I think a strong case can be made for adding an additional marital status: x-POSSLQ (Person Of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters, for the young 'uns)

Aug 8th 2014 new
(quote) Jerry-74383 said:  In fact, I think a strong case can be made for adding an additional marital status: x-POSSLQ (Person Of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters, for the young 'uns)

A.k.a. Lover / Mistress.
Aug 8th 2014 new
(quote) Carolina-1069841 said: A.k.a. Lover / Mistress.
Well they might not actually have a sexual relationship, and so not be lovers. I'm not saying it's an okay thing to do. It could create scandal and be an occasion of sin. However, it's not really a martial status so much as an undesirable living situation.
Aug 8th 2014 new
I am just as confused as you are on this topic. When I see a person who is "Never Married" and has kids, I have to wonder if those children are born out of wedlock or adopted (if that is even possible for a never married person to do with the myriad of requirements for adoptions). It puts up a very big red flag for me. Catholic Match should consider adding what Jerry posted as a "living together" or "living together with kids" option so this question is more accurately covered.
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