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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
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Rejection always hurts

Aug 9th 2014 new
I'm new to Catholic Match and felt blessed when after only a few days, I met what I thought was a very nice man. We clicked almost instantly and communicated frequently throughout the day for about a week. Then, for no apparent reason, he abruptly stopped communication, and I haven't heard from him since. His membership to Catholic Match has lapsed, so he's no longer here (although he has my phone number), so I feel comfortable saying out loud that rejection hurts, and unexplained rejection hurts most of all. I understand that I knew this man for only a week -- we hadn't even met in person yet --, and that we were just in the very early stages of a relationship. I had no right to have any expectations of him. But we had grown close enough that I had taken a risk and opened up to him -- and he had seemed to have done the same. After a few days of zero response from him, I realized and accepted that for whatever reason, he no longer wanted to continue getting to know me. I texted him and wished him well, and that was that. He may never have read the text, but it made me feel better to give myself some closure. Because we knew each other for such a short period of time, I've been able to pick up fairly easily and go on with my life, but I will say that I had a couple of days of pain and self-doubt. So why am I posting this message? I guess I feel the need to say out loud that I took a risk, that I opened up a little after years of staying within myself, and that it hurt for this person to disappear without a word -- and that I beg others to avoid this behavior of simply disappearing without explanation. Perhaps it's the online environment that makes someone think he can simply disappear "cleanly," but it's not that way. Everyone here is precious and special and a child of God, and those of us who are divorced may be a little more vulnerable and cautious. Please, let's treat each other with courtesy and respect. Tell me you've lost interest in me or that you don't think we're compatible, but don't simply disappear and leave me wondering what I may have done wrong and wishing I hadn't been as vulnerable with you as I was. Anyway -- thanks for listening, everyone.
Aug 9th 2014 new
You're preaching to the choir here, Kimberly. I'm so sorry you were hurt.
Aug 9th 2014 new

Kimberly,

This is the first time I've responded to anyone on forum although I've been really following it very closely for a few weeks now and find it very helpful.

I sympathize with you completely as i have had a similar experience. However, someone

on forum said the best words....and I repeat them often.

"Rejection is God's protection"

So, I have faith and trust in God that he is watching out for my interests and perhaps

knows something I don't yet know about the relationship I might have had with this person.

Obviously, he wasn't meant for me. So, I'll move on and stay strong and positive. Also,

as my mother use to say when I was much, much younger, There's plenty of fish in the sea. The right one will come along at some point and probably be a more fitting person for you.

Pray, thank God every day for our being and remember:

Rejection is God's Protection

Aug 9th 2014 new
(quote) Kimberly-708358 said: I'm new to Catholic Match and felt blessed when after only a few days, I met what I thought was a very nice man. We clicked almost instantly and communicated frequently throughout the day for about a week. Then, for no apparent reason, he abruptly stopped communication, and I haven't heard from him since. His membership to Catholic Match has lapsed, so he's no longer here (although he has my phone number), so I feel comfortable saying out loud that rejection hurts, and unexplained rejection hurts most of all. I understand that I knew this man for only a week -- we hadn't even met in person yet --, and that we were just in the very early stages of a relationship. I had no right to have any expectations of him. But we had grown close enough that I had taken a risk and opened up to him -- and he had seemed to have done the same. After a few days of zero response from him, I realized and accepted that for whatever reason, he no longer wanted to continue getting to know me. I texted him and wished him well, and that was that. He may never have read the text, but it made me feel better to give myself some closure. Because we knew each other for such a short period of time, I've been able to pick up fairly easily and go on with my life, but I will say that I had a couple of days of pain and self-doubt. So why am I posting this message? I guess I feel the need to say out loud that I took a risk, that I opened up a little after years of staying within myself, and that it hurt for this person to disappear without a word -- and that I beg others to avoid this behavior of simply disappearing without explanation. Perhaps it's the online environment that makes someone think he can simply disappear "cleanly," but it's not that way. Everyone here is precious and special and a child of God, and those of us who are divorced may be a little more vulnerable and cautious. Please, let's treat each other with courtesy and respect. Tell me you've lost interest in me or that you don't think we're compatible, but don't simply disappear and leave me wondering what I may have done wrong and wishing I hadn't been as vulnerable with you as I was. Anyway -- thanks for listening, everyone.
Yes, you are right, Kimberly. It is easy to 'disappear' here. I am sorry for your pain.
Would it help to look upon this as another of God's stepping stones? He lovingly places each one in our path. Speaking for myself, I can look back and plainly see them and realizing His plan, I am grateful. It sounds glib but I think we always have an 'aha moment' later, and feel His embrace.

Aug 9th 2014 new
This has happened to me as well, even after long correspondence. It hurts. It always hurts. To love (or begin to love) is to make oneself vulnerable to another person. I've come to accept the pain of rejection as an indication that I am still alive, my heart still beats, and warmth rather than ice runs through my veins. I pray for a strong filter rather than impenetrable armor, and continue to enjoy the process of making new friendships while (hopefully) keeping at least a few of the old. When a guy goes POOF, the sadness can settle in, but we have to lay it at the altar and move forward. Chin up. Peace to you! theheart



Aug 9th 2014 new
Kimberly, I am sorry that you have been hurt but you have a great attitude and good sense! This too shall pass ( one of my favorite sayings) and you are stronger for having gone through it. Yes, yes, by all means take risks and open up - Our Blessed Lord created us to love and be loved!

God bless!
Aug 12th 2014 new
Kimberly, so sorry to hear that he chose to lose contact, its never easy, nor does it ever get easier....I like the comment that Kimberly quoted: "Rejection is Gods Protection". Never heard this before, but it makes sense. I am always reminded of what my mother always tells me: "Its on Gods time...not your time"!! I totally agree with my mom and she knows what she's talking about, married to my father for 53 years. However, I make the comment to her: "I know I am Alone....I just don't want to be Lonely"!! I wish I knew how to make all this feel better. I believe God has a plan for all of us, just have to wait for the Right Time, all about timing.
Aug 12th 2014 new
Kimberly, I would encourage you to consider that something happened and he can't contact you. He could have been in an accident or had a health problem. A couple years ago I was dating a local man who suddenly stopped calling me and didn't return my calls. I sent txt messages too but always just asking him to at least let me know if he was OK. Finally after over a week he called. He had been assaulted when going to the ATM at night and had a serious head injury. They had stolen his phone. His mother came from out of state to bring him home from the hospital and he finally could get my phone number off his email. In the end he and I parted ways for other reasons but this situation taught me to never write a goodbye text just because someone suddenly stops calling. (We parted ways when he moved to get the rehab he needed a couple months later but we stayed friends for months and I was pleased to be a support for him and cheer him.)

That said, I have also had other men stop calling for no reason and I've never heard from them. This is just one reason why I never have long distant relationships. I only get to know men during face to face dates. I use this and another single site to be introduced. I don't open up and become vulnerable with anyone until we are dating.
Aug 31st 2014 new
Ages ago I was corresponding with an Irish gentleman who lived in Cork Ireland. We got on famously and he even sent some photos in the mail all the way from Ireland. Then he suddenly stopped. I actually thought something might have happened to him. I sent him a couple more messages just asking him to let me know he was okay. Nothing. so I do not know what happened to him.
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