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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people under 45. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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Hello everyone, just wanted to get your thoughts on this. When you found the one that you are meant for, and have found their love language. How do you go about ensuring that the love you have made for each other last? Do you continue with what you have been doing, or do you intermix the love languages to keep the love vibrant and alive with new levels of endeavoring actions?
Aug 9th new

Talk to each other and listen to each other.

And -- regularly, without fail -- make time for each other away from jobs, chores, kids, parents, friends, to just be the two of you. All those things are like newspapers piled on top of a beautiful dish. If you clear them away, the beautiful dish is revealed to you again and again. If you don't clear them away, eventually you forget that the dish is there.

The biggest regret I have about my marriage is that only once in 18 years did we go away for a weekend alone. It was wonderful: free from all those distractions I re-discovered the wonderful, fun man I fell in love with. But the whole time I was thinking, "Where have you been all this time?"

Aug 9th new
Great question. You can't be thinking there is formula or plan to make things work and last. relationships work when you both communicate your needs , wants and desires . Understanding each other and listing to each other is also important .

You will find people change and grow during life and during the relationship so new ways to. Keep your relationship strong will happen naturally in most cases. If you have speed bumps or pot holes in the relationship you must or ought to work to get over them by communicating and really learn to hear each other.


Aug 10th new
I just read What Makes Love Last? by John Gottman and I feel like I learned a lot about what makes a marriage work. I'd recommend it.
Aug 10th new
Hey Jean, thank you for information, I will check the book out.
Aug 22nd new
(quote) William-888220 said: Hello everyone, just wanted to get your thoughts on this. When you found the one that you are meant for, and have found their love language. How do you go about ensuring that the love you have made for each other last? Do you continue with what you have been doing, or do you intermix the love languages to keep the love vibrant and alive with new levels of endeavoring actions?
I know how many of us here have the same questions in mind. But I think what we want to know primarily is :

How do we keep the love burning?

Maybe it could be doing new activities together? or maybe stay attuned with one another's love languages?

Or would it be that love is a unique experience for everyone that sad to say, there are no written formulas or proven methods that guarantee its success?

Because sometimes in the world right now, and I see this too among my friends, that we confuse love with its expression.We tend to consider love as love because it is passionate but then do we reduce it to a mere feeling?

I'm not saying here that love does not need to be expressed. However, it is not limited to it. Love is not just a passion, it is also spiritual. Its not just about feelings. So that when I no longer feel it, I no longer love the person.

I remember one time, we were discussing with one of our college professors. He actually loves his wife very much. And he shared that at some point, he was before something that he could no longer express. He was living the experience of love but it was beyond any definition. He stood right there before that person and he knew that it was her. He was simply being drawn to her.

Perhaps there were fine qualities in her that made him love her so much.

But it was more than that, because first of all, there was an experience of a person.

Of loving that person beyond his/her qualities and shortcomings, beyond his/her moods and likes... in a way mysterious because it tells us that all experience of love will always be unique - because it is all about a person. Love unites two persons together. And within that love, there's also a constant call to discover and to know the person for what he or she is. And we know that knowledge leads on to love, so then, we can also say that we can only love that person more and more.

Yes, we need to know the love language of that person, we need to know what activities we could share together, to stir one another in love. But still they should all lead us to the very heart of the experience with that person. To know that over time, anyway, our activities may change... our physical appearance may change... but there's something in each person that will remain the same...

... which will always be worthy of our love.

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