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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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I'm a big guy - always have been. Weighed 12 lbs at birth. The only time in my life that I have been arguably near average weight was when I was around 5-7 years old - heavy before, heavy since. Have lost some weight from my peak, but not as much as I'd like. Yet, I feel it is important to like myself as I am, at whatever stage. God made me, after all. I am healthy in every other way, and I don't smoke, rarely drink.

I am wondering whether to even respond to women's profiles that say things like "I take care of my body and so do you", etc. There always that awful assumption that "fat" people are lazy, that we don't care about how we look. This is the major reason I have avoided Asian women because I have worked in Korea and Japan and was tired of the nasty comments I would get from them, many of whom looked anorexic and way too thin. I don't like their obsession with appearance.

Big people have hearts too, and I have regularly done well in my physicals. I work in Saudi right now, but not forever. I am decent, and I do care about morals. There is nothing wrong with me, except for normal human failings, and no, I am not in denial. I'd like to lose more weight, but I am comfortable with my looks.

I find it interesting that men are often said to be more "visual" than women. I think it's equal between the genders.

What I am trying to say is this: Ladies, if you don't like men being shallow regarding appearance, please don't be shallow with us. Give us a chance, take a little time to get acquainted.

Blessings to all!

Aug 16th 2014 new
Weight is just one of the many things people have strong feelings about.
I come from a big family of big-hearted, XL people. The most generous, happy, selfless people I have known were all large people. What's not to love?
Healthy is way more important than looks, but I understand fearing for someone's longevity. A person who looks to be headed for a heart attack may not seem like a good bet to someone our age. That's never stopped me, but I can see where it might deter the feint of heart (pardon the pun).




Aug 16th 2014 new
Andrew, I am sorry you face this same prejudice. For me, size isn't important on the whole. My mom was always heavy, I am heavier now than I have ever been, the sad thing is, when I was a little tiny thing, I thought I was heavy because I was curvy and not a straight board like my sister. It is what is inside that matters and unfortunately most people are afraid to look beyond the cover. Be happy with yourself and that will show through and those that will matter will see that and not the other.
Aug 16th 2014 new

Good post.

I don't think it's women being shallow so much as it's women rebelling against hypocrisy.

A common discussion among women goes along the lines of: "He says he wants a woman who is slim and athletic and works out regularly -- when he himself is happy to be an overweight couch potato."

While each of us has a physical "type" we find exciting, the truth is, a kind and generous heart trumps everything else.


Aug 16th 2014 new
I will take an adventurous, interesting, and genuinely caring man your size ANYDAY, before I would even consider a man who has looks, brains, and a narrow view of the world. I was 20 when I left Detroit and moved to Spain. My life was never the same after that! My world grew and never stopped!
Aug 16th 2014 new
(quote) Andrew-1045895 said:



I find it interesting that men are often said to be more "visual" than women. I think it's equal between the genders.

What I am trying to say is this: Ladies, if you don't like men being shallow regarding appearance, please don't be shallow with us. Give us a chance, take a little time to get acquainted.

Blessings to all!

You do make good points. But unfortunately, some of us are victims of our life experiences.

I'll never forget two dates with a larger guy. He didn't hide his weight, it was apparent in his photo. He had an interesting profile so I thought it would be cool to meet him and give him a chance. The first meeting, I noticed him checking out and acting a little overly chummy with our waitress. He said he knew her from playing at an open mic in the place on several occasions. I thought, "well, okay" but it made me a little uncomfortable. Date #2 - his eyes followed every female that walked by. He later asked me if I always wore my hair short, asked a few questions. He obviously didn't like it. He was also super attracted to a female friend of his who was singing in the place that night. I started feeling completely invisible around him and was mad at myself for accepting a second date.

I apologize, but slim or fit men are not the only shallow guys out there. I agree with Marge.

Aug 16th 2014 new
Are you giving overweight women a chance?
Aug 16th 2014 new
(quote) Julie-42315 said: Are you giving overweight women a chance?
When you get up to our age, I think the faith and the personality of the woman becomes preeminent. Besides, I believe what Madison Ave tries to make women look rather unhealthy with their obsession with weight and weight control.

Aug 16th 2014 new
Of course I am, Julie. Why would I not? I know what it's like...
Aug 16th 2014 new
(quote) Andrew-1045895 said: Of course I am, Julie. Why would I not? I know what it's like...
I have seen this topic come up before,But usually in the context of the ladies.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Today entertainment media dictates what is acceptable.My wife was a rubenesque lady and I thought she was beautiful. My daughter is full figures and I think like wise, My son in law is plus size fellow. I once saw a post by a young lady that was humiliated by a respondent who told her that she had a lot of courage to post a full body shot. Sadly enough, this is the norm in our society.
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