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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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I am a somewhat traditional woman, meaning I think there is validity to a man pursuing a women in a relationship. However, I wonder how this translates online?
1.) Do you find it a turn off when a women sends the first message?
2.) Do you prefer emotigrams as an initial introduction and find messages too much?
3.) Take it as a sign of dis-interest when a woman looks at your profile but doesn't send a message? (Sometimes I'll mark a profile as a "favorite" but not send a message figuring that if a guy views mine he will message me if he likes what he sees. Am I correct, or are a lot of you presuming if I didn't send anything I already made up my mind?)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I'd love if you'd include your age bracket 1= under 40, 2=over 40 as I'm curious to see if the answers have different trends by age demographics - yes, I took a research class as part of MBA program. ;) #humorneverhurts



Aug 17th 2014 new
(quote) Michelle-914994 said: I am a somewhat traditional woman, meaning I think there is validity to a man pursuing a women in a relationship. However, I wonder how this translates online?
1.) Do you find it a turn off when a women sends the first message?
2.) Do you prefer emotigrams as an initial introduction and find messages too much?
3.) Take it as a sign of dis-interest when a woman looks at your profile but doesn't send a message? (Sometimes I'll mark a profile as a "favorite" but not send a message figuring that if a guy views mine he will message me if he likes what he sees. Am I correct, or are a lot of you presuming if I didn't send anything I already made up my mind?)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I'd love if you'd include your age bracket 1= under 40, 2=over 40 as I'm curious to see if the answers have different trends by age demographics - yes, I took a research class as part of MBA program. ;) #humorneverhurts



1 - No

2 - Either emotes or a message is fine; I don't like the CM chat function for general conversation, though.

3 - There are a number of reasons someone might view another person's profile without even wanting to evaluate them as a potential date (e.g., accidentally clicked in the wrong place in the forums, looking for clues as to the person's perspective after reading a forum post, etc.) I might assume there is some interest and she doesn't want to make the first move if the same woman views my profile multiple times (either that, or she is very forgetful laughing). [If you are tempted to use this signal on someone, be aware that only one profile view is reported every 30 days, so it will take a minimum of 2-3 months before there is any possibility of them getting the message.]

If you really want to know my age you can turn your head to the left and look under the placeholder for the missing profile photo.

Aug 17th 2014 new
Thanks for the reply. I'm new to the forums so didn't realize the age thing just shows up. :D Ooops!
Aug 17th 2014 new
Welcome Michelle. wave
Aug 17th 2014 new
1) no, I welcome it -- while I guess chivalry might say that a guy should make the first move, I also desire that sense of attention and "ooh, she finds me interesting!" that comes with receiving a message from someone who I have not initiated contact with.

2) emotigrams and messages are interchangeable to me

3) Yes although I think it's a greater sign of indifference if I message the girl and she doesn't reply -- which is fine, as I will often not write back to someone I'm not interested in. Ideally, sending back an "i'm not interested" type of reply would the most efficient, but on a website like this people should take it as an unspoken rule that if you message someone and they don't message you back, then they are probably not interested in you.
Aug 17th 2014 new
1.No.
2. either is fine
3. No, I sometimes do the same thing you mentioned.
4. ..oh there's no 4.. oops wink
Aug 17th 2014 new
(quote) Michelle-914994 said: I am a somewhat traditional woman, meaning I think there is validity to a man pursuing a women in a relationship. However, I wonder how this translates online?
1.) Do you find it a turn off when a women sends the first message?
2.) Do you prefer emotigrams as an initial introduction and find messages too much?
3.) Take it as a sign of dis-interest when a woman looks at your profile but doesn't send a message? (Sometimes I'll mark a profile as a "favorite" but not send a message figuring that if a guy views mine he will message me if he likes what he sees. Am I correct, or are a lot of you presuming if I didn't send anything I already made up my mind?)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I'd love if you'd include your age bracket 1= under 40, 2=over 40 as I'm curious to see if the answers have different trends by age demographics - yes, I took a research class as part of MBA program. ;) #humorneverhurts



Hi Michelle,

Being one of the senior CM members, I tend to get views from much older women then me. I figure it is because the pool of men at this age is rather thin. In my introduction, I put an age range that I would prefer. I would not mined if she contacts me first, but doesn't usually happen.

I don't usually respond to a view, but if a woman emotes or messages me, I will respond with at least a thanks for viewing my profile. For my searches, I start within a certain radius and a reason to start a conversation. I find the birthday list as a good ice breaker. If it's the ladies birthday and her profile shows compatibility with mine. I'll send a birthday cake emotigram and mention something in her profile like, "I see you like the shore, I have friends there".

If I see she has viewed my message by the new "viewed at 4:38pm" and there is no response I move on.

Hope this helps,

Bill

Aug 17th 2014 new
1. No, beats junk mail
2. Emotigrams with no wording seem kinda lazy, you might just be fishing
3. Who wouldn't want a guy like me??? scratchchin
Aug 17th 2014 new
1. No.
2. I am a very deep person, so I prefer messages with some thought behind them. That being said, it's nice to get smiles. :-)
3. I'm still trying to figure out the social guidelines about profile viewing. I only recently learned that sending a message is automatically read as showing interest. As a man, I understand that if I want to meet someone, I should make the first move. But, given today's culture, I'm not sure if other women my age feel the same way. So, lots of ambiguity there.
Aug 17th 2014 new
(quote) Joe-1086890 said: 1. No, beats junk mail
2. Emotigrams with no wording seem kinda lazy, you might just be fishing
3. Who wouldn't want a guy like me???
Who indeed?
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