(I'm going out of town soon so this will be my last thread, I promise!)
I just wanted to share this article and get some feedback. What would you add, change or take out?
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This statement has really fueled my fire today and makes me say "NO, I will not allow this!". The statement from the article:
"Women are joint heirs of the grace of God, but someone has to make the final decision when you both disagree. When one person votes one way, and the other person votes another, I believe it's the responsibility of the husband to listen carefully and wisely consider the counsel of his wife. It's upon him and to the Lordship of Jesus Christ as being led in the power of the Holy Spirit to make that decision, and then it's upon the wife to be able to follow under the same influence".
Early on, I didn't know that my former husband would turn out to be an emotional abuser. He made all the decisions-he thought me, as the "little woman," was not capable and not knowledgeable enough to make decisions. He made me feel insignificant and stupid and that I was totally dependent on a man to make important decisions.
After that experience, I will not allow anyone to think of me as the little woman: fragile, dizzy, indecisive, stupid, helpless, and not able to make final decisions. Ok, rant over.....carry on.
Interesting food for thought. Upon reflection, I don't think the lists are very balanced.
It does not say a woman should seek a man who wants to be a husband and a father. It does talk about seeking a man willing to love, but that is not the same thing. The premise that women must be family-oriented, but it doesn't really matter for the man is untenable. If only women are concerned with family matters, we are in big trouble as a society.
There are lots of men out there who want to be neither a husband nor a father, but they seek a semi-permanent "girlfriend" or "companion". A lot of women get caught up in this trap, hoping the man will marry her after living together for a while, as a "step along the way". Unfortunately, if a man is not family oriented, he will not view marriage as a priority. Such a man may put his career first, or not really care about a career either, just kind of drift through life, and keep a woman around for sex, doing the laundry and cooking, but not seek to respect her as a person and not be welcoming of children into the equation.
The number 6 on both lists seem to contradict each other. In general, I don't think theres anything
wrong with a husband and father "speaking for the family" in a lot of
situations, as that's the sort of leadership that should be provided by the man. However, in the event that the husband and
wife disagree, the view that the man's position is automatically superior (because due to
human nature, he is not likely to overrule himself in a tough decision) does
not always lead to the best outcomes.
Sometimes, it is far better to seek the counsel of an elderly family
member who can provide some advice based on life experience. Sometimes the husband and wife will have to
arrive at a compromise position that is not either his way or her way, but a
way in the middle. I'm not sure that is made clear in the article.
I find a lot of the points in the article seem to place the two sexes in unreasonable pigeonholes.
- If the man is not a natural leader, and the gal is...let her lead.
- Why does modesty apply only to women? Men are often immodest in their speech, which I find more offensive and a greater occasion of sin than bare skin.
- I think once you're over 30, your attitude towards your parents is largely immaterial, unless either you behave towards them with gross immaturity.
I think any "rules" should apply to both sexes. Kindness and generosity and piety and fidelity are needed by BOTH parties, or you're not going to get anywhere.