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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Hello

I was wondering if any of you had requested the information necessary to conduct a background check early in the relationship. I was advised to be very cautious and to do that with anyone I met over the internet. I contacted a professional firm to do the investigation and they had good articles on their website about pre-relationship background checks. One of their articles said seniors are particularily vulnerable. The person I was talking too was offended that I did not just automatically trust him, but I believe a relationship is too important to leave details like that to chance.

I have added in my profile that any serious relationship seekers will be asked for information for a background check. I am also offering to supply the information someone else would need to do a background check on me.

I would be interested in your comments.
Aug 29th new
(quote) Janet-1083900 said: I would be interested in your comments.

So first, Janet, could you clarify something here?

Are you saying this third-party "professional firm" contacts your person of interest and asks for their personal data, their SSN and so on?

I wonder how that is done, because the last time I supplied such information, it was to get a mortgage. I filled out a bunch of forms in advance, then went personally to a bank to submit it. Nothing from me was submitted online or mailed. And certainly, nothing was provided over the phone. By bringing it to a bank, I had an obviously reasonable assurance the whole information request wasn't just some kind of fraudulent cover.

I wonder how you or the person you are checking would have that same assurance in this case.

Aug 29th new
While not absolutely indispensable, I consider it reasonable under certain circumstances.
Aug 30th new
I agree some caution is necessary, but I personally wouldn't go so far as to use an agency or anything.

If I plan on meeting someone I 'met' online, I will do a google search on them. All I look for is information telling me they haven't lied about anything. I've never had to do a full background check on anyone. Google and Facebook have worked very well.

I believe people should assume they're going to get googled or researched when they're online dating. If someone is surprised about it or gets offended, than that might be a red flag.
Aug 30th new
even if you do a background check, whats to say that they won't go off their rocker once you're married.
doesn't give much hope, does it. Plus, I bet there is a way that some information can be hidden from anyone checking.
This is how I feel about it, I'll do a check if the relationship becomes serious but only go as far as to see that the information I've been given is true.
Aug 30th new
even if you do a background check, whats to say that they won't go off their rocker once you're married.
doesn't give much hope, does it. Plus, I bet there is a way that some information can be hidden from anyone checking.
This is how I feel about it, I'll do a check if the relationship becomes serious but only go as far as to see that the information I've been given is true.
Aug 30th new
(quote) Connie-17641 said: even if you do a background check, whats to say that they won't go off their rocker once you're married.
doesn't give much hope, does it. Plus, I bet there is a way that some information can be hidden from anyone checking.
This is how I feel about it, I'll do a check if the relationship becomes serious but only go as far as to see that the information I've been given is true.
weeping2nd time for double posting
Aug 31st new
Janet....absolutely!! Especially if your INVESTING your time on this person. If he gets offended to a background check, what does he have hidden or something he cannot back up his reasons. Life is too short for all of us and TRUST should never be taken for granted. Good Luck!
Aug 31st new
(quote) Connie-17641 said: even if you do a background check, whats to say that they won't go off their rocker once you're married.
doesn't give much hope, does it. Plus, I bet there is a way that some information can be hidden from anyone checking.
This is how I feel about it, I'll do a check if the relationship becomes serious but only go as far as to see that the information I've been given is true.
I just googled my somewhat unusual last name with my first and found a blogger with seemingly a bit of a following...weird.
Aug 31st new
(quote) Janet-1083900 said: Hello

I was wondering if any of you had requested the information necessary to conduct a background check early in the relationship. I was advised to be very cautious and to do that with anyone I met over the internet. I contacted a professional firm to do the investigation and they had good articles on their website about pre-relationship background checks. One of their articles said seniors are particularily vulnerable. The person I was talking too was offended that I did not just automatically trust him, but I believe a relationship is too important to leave details like that to chance.

I have added in my profile that any serious relationship seekers will be asked for information for a background check. I am also offering to supply the information someone else would need to do a background check on me.

I would be interested in your comments.
Google is amazing! If you know their first and last name and there they live that is enough to look into court records which are public and sex offender registries. I think these are two things that can give you an idea. Now if they committed a crime elsewhere that would be harder to find. But it's enough for me to feel comfortable to just search locally.
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