You need to have a CM pinkies night out. When one of us is going threw bad times it's always
a comfort to know they will give you their ear anytime and lots of hugs.
After all we are Brothers and Sisters of Christ..
Just for you..
I have seen the Pinkies name going around a few times but to be honest with you I have no clue what it is
My heart goes out to you. A lot of us can relate to your feelings, but each of us experiences it as an individual. I am so sorry that your husband's family are doing these things, but I will add a thought that my priest presented to me recently........When people hurt us, they often feel as the 'victim' themselves...... That has me pondering things quite often. It doesn't mean you did, or didn't do anything wrong, but they are hurting too. When my husband passed away, it was his grown children that rummaged the closets. I told each of them, that if there was anything they wanted, to let me know, but please give me a little time to process what was happening. Death causes a lot of reactions....not all good. After a little time, I put together several boxes of items, including the items they asked for, and sent them to them via their uncle. Neither child communicates, nor does his family with the exception of his father. I get cards from him on my birthday, and Christmas. I have no words of wisdom, but I do offer my prayers for you. May God bless you with His peace, and guide you to a place of joy.
Ray, you are such an awesome man! Thank you for always giving of your time and experience to help all ladies and gentlemen on CM. Your wisdom helps everyone.
Always yes, Ray is a good and awesome man. He puts a lot of time in trying to help others understand or to look at a problem in a very realistic way. To say a kind word, and to give some comfort, hope to a situation. Sometimes all it takes is one person to reach out with kindness, and understanding to make a difference in somebody's day.
That's all it takes, one friend who is a sincere and honest friend is a treasure to hold onto to.
On this Internet, we are surrounded by many, and so many different opinions,many opinions cause confusion, and hurt feelings, for the lack of a better understanding, but one person will show up that does understand and can take away the hurtful feelings. I can spend hours on here, alone reading or trying to express a thought, and get ignored and passed on by. Not a person cared or given any a thought, maybe cause I am not in the limelight, there are others who are more popular and many have a talent for writing and more time to write it, I don't always have the time, nor am I a explicit writer. I don't always sugar coat my words, but say what comes to my mind. But I do have emoticons, feelings I cry and laugh just like the rest.
If I only just one friend..................
Debbie, I think you summed up how I've been feeling very well - and how iritating stupid comments can be, and how tiring every day life can be now that you don't have that special someone to share it with.
In my case my father-in-law actually tried to break us up (one day was bold enough to tell me I should leave my wife) so needless to say I don't talk to them! That said it was exhausting fighting with the whole family around the funeral, and trying to settle legal issues and how they tried to prevent me from doing so.
Anyway, hang in there, we all feel your pain and can relate to what you're going through!
Somehow God gives us the strength to make it through the day.
Michelle, very true! I was thinking about how burned out I was before my beloved passed, and how I was giving 110% and completly running on empty ... but even 110% wasn't enough. So how I managed to find the strength. Of course as its been said before you also need to find some downtime to recharge the batteries. In my case I went to Aruba because I had never been, and my Steph always said that was her "happy place" so I wanted to find out why.
In the Bible, Jesus mentions widows specifically and encourages all to help and watch over us. He knows the trials and challenges we face every day. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time.
Chris, thanks for the reminder! I've been doing a program at the Church called Seasons of Hope and it's been a great source of comfort because everyone in the program is mourning the loss of someone dear to them (spouse, child, parents, etc).
It was 2 days before what would have been our 5th Wedding Anniversary and I was remided that Jesus also comforts those who are baren. In our case we were unable to have children because my beloved became ill before we ever had a chance. You're right this "new normal" SUCKS!
My In-Laws have not spoken to me at all. and after 17 years of marriage I'm just not sure why.
They have never taking the time to be involved in my son's life till the death of my DH. They keep on insisting that he comes out to California for the summer. It's not that I mind but yet again I do mind I wonder what they have up their sleeve. I know this makes me sound bad but it's just how I feel.
Debbie, I could write a book on bad in-laws so TRUST me you don't sound bad at all! I got so tired of being reminded after Steph passed that I needed to remember that my father-in-law lost his only daughter, and I didn't understand. I finally got so upset and said "and I lost my ONLY wife, so you don't understand! It's not like I have an excess supply of wives just hanging around!"
In my case I almost ended up taking my father-in-law to court (I had already hired a lawyer but was advised it was too costly to pursue) so I knew I'd never hear from them again. I can relate to how you feel because I was outright blamed for my wife's death on several occassions by the in-laws.
Also, I am not ashamed to say I have been angry at God for a long time. It is perfectly normal! God is a merciful one and he understand the way we feel.
Rosa, yes Thank God our God is a loving God that understands our anger! I have had many days where I was angry at the entire world, angry at a "loving God" that could do this to me, angry at my late wife for things that happened.
I'm tired of all the games that people around me are playing . I'm tried of always having to smile when people talk to me. I'm tired of crying .
I'm tired of my In-laws treating me like I'm some sort of plague. I'm tired of them talking to my family members like I don't exists. I'm tired of having to deal with all the heart ache. I'm tired of paying all the bills. I'm tired of saying we are doing our best knowing that I'm not my best.
I'm tired of dealing with stupid family members that have no Ideal what I'm going though and the stupid things they say and do that hurt my feelings.
I'm tired of wondering what if I would have.
I'm tired of doing things on my own. I'm tired of being both Mom and Dad .
I'm tired of sleeping alone. I'm tired of not having someone to call with good or bad news. I'm tired of holidays. I'm tired of being sad.
I'm just plain tired and don't want to do it anymore.