Ana..your loss of your husband is really very recent. There are so many "firsts" to get through that first year... We all take our own time and journeys but it takes much longer than one realizes at first. It has been 6 years since I lost my husband and most of the time I think I do quite well with moving on and making a new life for myself..then a day will come and I just need a good cry to go on. I think our priorities change and some things that used to be important really aren't anymore. Be patient with yourself. Procrastination is pretty common I think...sometimes we just don't have the energy to get things done. They will wait. Sometimes we need a helping hand to just lift us for a bit, don't be afarid to get some help. I'm sorry for your loss Ana. Peace and may you feel God's warm embrace !
Depends on what it is! I am a naturall procrastonator to some extent, so that never helps. That said I never have a problem finding time to pick up a new toy (Apple loves me!!), or picking up tickets to go to a ball game! Finding time to clean house, or do the stuff that "should" be done ... well that's a little harder. Then again if I stopped going out as much I could find the time ... but it's the going out that keeps me somewhat "sane".
I identify with Peter with regard to procrastination. "never time for housework, etc., but always time to play when opportunity allows.
It has been three years for me now, and I appear to have actually gotten worse instead of better. I may just not be admitting to myself that I am still grieving and lonely.
Found that I am procrastinating things even after a year of my loss.
My wife tended to not throw anything away, and so I am faced with going through twenty-five years of 'stuff' including old bills and receipts, bins and bins full of fabric, many boxes of real estate papers (she was a realtor for some time), old books, journals, unfinished art work (try throwing that away), and more. I have realized I have only a limited capacity to do that at any given time, so I work on some pile for an hour or so and say, "That's enough." It's not the work that's hard, it is the emotions that the items bring up. And every so often, I find something precious or important.
Am I procrastinating or just being realistic about what is possible? I'm not sure it matters.
One of the things that I had to face in one capacity or another was that because Phil was military, I had a year to decide where I wated to start a life without him. The reason that I took a job overseas is that it gave me two years to figure out forever. I had to go through things we had in our house. Since things happened so quickly, I still have a storage unit that I will have to go through at some point, but I am stuck with military memorial things out the wazoo. I am still not sure what to do with it all. I donated some of it to a museum. Someday, maybe I will give it to grandchildren, but that is years away. I just became a grandma for the first time Memorial Day week.
Found that I am procrastinating things even after a year of my loss. I am working hard on this one especially during lent. Is anyone else having some sort of trouble that is hard to get going never before experienced until your loss?
Ana, I have a few suggestions:
1) I ahd Phil's shirts and uniforms made into quilts for my children. The memories are invaluable.
2) I went through everything at once, donated it, but some people need to ease into it and do it a little at a time. Decide what is best for you.
3) Decide what you really want to keep. for me it was the photos, military coins, the letters and cards, and his wedding ring for our youngest son. I gave other important things to our children. I do have the military flags and certificates. Someday grandchildren will get them.
Good luck. I stand with you.
Myself hast lost my wee bonnie lass 8 months agae an' e'ery day seems tae be a year. Thank the guid Laird myself hast my daughter an' son. Actually more my daughter than my son ast his wyfe canna see any sense in help'en some one oot.
My daughter an' granddaughter coom tae the hoose when they can an' we gae through Louise's things (clothing, etc.) Most o' the paper work wast done while she wast still a lyve. She dinna ken wah' myself wast dae'en ast she wast on morphine an' ither med's. The last 2 months were the hardest. Sometymes we could talk an' ither tymes she wast nae "there".
This past week-end (10 June 2012 actually) wast the hardest since her pass'en. It would hae been 50years for us. Myself ne'er kent tha' ye could hurt lyke this again. Myself's first loss wast a lass who had been my nurse after a terrible accident when myself wast in the Navy. We had gotten engaged wi'oot the Navy ken'en aboot it. Myself wast sent hame tae NJ an' she tae follow aboot a month later (she wast be'en trasfered tae the Brooklyn Navy yard). 2 weeks afore she wast tae transfer she an' 3 ither nurses were killed by a drunk driver ootsyde Great Lakes.
Now myself hast a 2nd loss which wast a lyfe tyme.
Myself ist gang through grief counsel'en an' while it helps myself tha' loss tae the point o' sevre(?) loneliness. Myself wonders if myself will e'er be the same again.
There are tymes tha' myself canna take nae more,but wi the help o' GOD, Family an' Knichts o' Columbus myself fynds tha' myself can.
Myself hopes tha' ye will forgie me for by wa' write'en but myself ist an auld an ancient Scot who thinks, speaks an writes in Gaelic-Anglish.
Thank ye for listen'entae this auld Scot.
GOD bless ye all an' hold ye in HIS hands.