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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people under 45. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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I have noticed several profiles that state that their match "must have a job" without any qualifications to as to the circumstances of "why." It is quite common for the younger generations to be considered lazy or irresponsible. I would caution anyone who would make this mandatory in their search for a spouse. I am not bringing this up because I have been rejected by someone who has had this rule or because I am self conscious about my own employment status. Instead, I wanted to bring this up to help broaden some people's perspective on the employment status of a potential match as well as a means to give support to those who are also unemployed, you are not alone :)
I am comfortable enough with my employment status to share that I have been unemployed since June of last year when I resigned as a Campus Minister in order to pursue a PhD in social work at a state university. After resigning and preparing to enter school I was faced with a decision one week prior to the beginning of classes. I was assigned an assistantship (that I was not informed of the specifics until a week before the semester began) that would have required me to act in direct contradiction of my Catholic faith. The research was intended to discover how to more effectively and efficiently promote artificial contraception to teens as well as increase access to artificial contraception. I immediately asserted that I could not participate in such a study. Prior to applying to the program I met with the program director to ensure that such a situation would not occur. I was told I had nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, the commitment on their part was not upheld. I was passed around from one member of the dept. to the next and all of them told me that there were no alternatives. I should note that I was granted a free-ride for the duration of the program, basically a free PhD plus a part-time job. My financial aid required that I participate in an assistantship. With no alternatives I faced having to either act in a morally illicit manner and contradict my faith or walk away. I chose the latter. doing so in the midst of a recession has left me without a job. Although I have two graduate degrees and over a decade of experience in my profession I have even applied to work in restaurants, as an office assistant, and even a parking meter reader (so I have not limited my job searches).
There are those who are unemployed and live with their parents because they are lazy, lack ambition, and don't want to work, only mooch.
There are others who are unemployed because they are on the receiving end of discrimination; they are let-go because of downsizing; their job disappears because their employer goes belly up.
I would suggest that those who place an employment requirement on their match consider finding out "why" a person is unemployed before they set such a rule.
for those who have found themselves unemployed for an extended period of time, you are not alone, and God is watching over you. He sees what you sacrifice for your loved ones in the midst of this trial.

04/20/2012 new
Amen! Have faith, don't judge a book by its cover, and enjoy the blessings God has now given to you! :)
04/20/2012 new

I've definitely seen profiles like that. I tend to think that "has a job" means something more along the lines of "not a do-nothing lazybones". At which point I think a very logical reaction is to question why on earth they would feel the need to bother spelling out that do-nothing lazyboneses aren't their preferred type - it's just one of a plethora of things that people write than cast more negative light upon themselves than upon those they are pre-emptively turning down.

04/21/2012 new
The reason why many people specify that is because there are a lot of lazy people. However in this economy it can be misleading because I know people who have been unemployed for years. I will say this though and that is it is easier for unemployed women to find mates than unemployed males and it's because of the idea that women don't need to be breadwinners.
04/21/2012 new

(Quote) Adam-399324 said: I've definitely seen profiles like that. I tend to think that "has a job" means some...
(Quote) Adam-399324 said:

I've definitely seen profiles like that. I tend to think that "has a job" means something more along the lines of "not a do-nothing lazybones". At which point I think a very logical reaction is to question why on earth they would feel the need to bother spelling out that do-nothing lazyboneses aren't their preferred type - it's just one of a plethora of things that people write than cast more negative light upon themselves than upon those they are pre-emptively turning down.

--hide--


That would be my impression to. It isn't "you must be making six figures" as much as it is "I appreciate a person who strives for a stable career that will know what it takes to raise a family."

04/22/2012 new

(Quote) Mark-786743 said: I have noticed several profiles that state that their match "must have a job" without an...
(Quote) Mark-786743 said:

I have noticed several profiles that state that their match "must have a job" without any qualifications to as to the circumstances of "why." It is quite common for the younger generations to be considered lazy or irresponsible. I would caution anyone who would make this mandatory in their search for a spouse. I am not bringing this up because I have been rejected by someone who has had this rule or because I am self conscious about my own employment status. Instead, I wanted to bring this up to help broaden some people's perspective on the employment status of a potential match as well as a means to give support to those who are also unemployed, you are not alone :)
I am comfortable enough with my employment status to share that I have been unemployed since June of last year when I resigned as a Campus Minister in order to pursue a PhD in social work at a state university. After resigning and preparing to enter school I was faced with a decision one week prior to the beginning of classes. I was assigned an assistantship (that I was not informed of the specifics until a week before the semester began) that would have required me to act in direct contradiction of my Catholic faith. The research was intended to discover how to more effectively and efficiently promote artificial contraception to teens as well as increase access to artificial contraception. I immediately asserted that I could not participate in such a study. Prior to applying to the program I met with the program director to ensure that such a situation would not occur. I was told I had nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, the commitment on their part was not upheld. I was passed around from one member of the dept. to the next and all of them told me that there were no alternatives. I should note that I was granted a free-ride for the duration of the program, basically a free PhD plus a part-time job. My financial aid required that I participate in an assistantship. With no alternatives I faced having to either act in a morally illicit manner and contradict my faith or walk away. I chose the latter. doing so in the midst of a recession has left me without a job. Although I have two graduate degrees and over a decade of experience in my profession I have even applied to work in restaurants, as an office assistant, and even a parking meter reader (so I have not limited my job searches).
There are those who are unemployed and live with their parents because they are lazy, lack ambition, and don't want to work, only mooch.
There are others who are unemployed because they are on the receiving end of discrimination; they are let-go because of downsizing; their job disappears because their employer goes belly up.
I would suggest that those who place an employment requirement on their match consider finding out "why" a person is unemployed before they set such a rule.
for those who have found themselves unemployed for an extended period of time, you are not alone, and God is watching over you. He sees what you sacrifice for your loved ones in the midst of this trial.

--hide--

I don't really belong in this room, but I just wanted to say 'Thank you!' for your comments above. wave

Really, really kind words I needed to read right now. God bless you Mark. theheart

04/22/2012 new
(Quote) Maia-181886 said: I don't really belong in this room, but I just wanted to say 'Thank you!' for your c...
(Quote) Maia-181886 said:



I don't really belong in this room, but I just wanted to say 'Thank you!' for your comments above.



Really, really kind words I needed to read right now. God bless you Mark.



--hide--


Ms. Maia, a place where you are NOT welcomed is a place I DO NOT want to be. You are most welcomed here as long as they still allow me to lurk around here :)
04/23/2012 new

Hi,
Well honestly , I think for a man if they do not have a job, then they cannot afford to date a woman, and they really should not put themselves out here at all. Its expensive to date and simply costs money, therefore they should not be ring to date anyone until they can pay for their own bils and expenses.
Thanks,
Yazmin

04/24/2012 new

(Quote) Yazmin-746121 said: Hi,Well honestly , I think for a man if they do not have a job, then they cannot afford to d...
(Quote) Yazmin-746121 said:

Hi,
Well honestly , I think for a man if they do not have a job, then they cannot afford to date a woman, and they really should not put themselves out here at all. Its expensive to date and simply costs money, therefore they should not be ring to date anyone until they can pay for their own bils and expenses.
Thanks,
Yazmin

--hide--
Dating is not necessarily expensive. A walk is free. Many public libraries rent movies for free. Cooking a meal at home is not free but it is pretty inexpensive. Going to most public museums are free. There are any number of activities that two people can do without spending money.

04/24/2012 new

(Quote) Meesch-691047 said: (Quote) Maia-181886 said: I don't really belong in ...
(Quote) Meesch-691047 said:
Quote:
Maia-181886 said:



I don't really belong in this room, but I just wanted to say 'Thank you!' for your comments above.



Really, really kind words I needed to read right now. God bless you Mark.




Ms. Maia, a place where you are NOT welcomed is a place I DO NOT want to be. You are most welcomed here as long as they still allow me to lurk around here :)

--hide--

Thank you Ms. Meesch! hug You are a gem! rose

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