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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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05/02/2012 new

He's 6, and a boy... sitting for an hour is a HUGE task for most adults much less children and boys... I would suggest getting him some fidgets- little toys that will keep his hands busy. Brain research has shown that most people benefit from having something to do with their hands and it also can increase comprehension. If you think about it, how many times have you doodled on a paper while in a meeting? Same concept. Also, there is lots of research out there that says a child can only sit still as long as their age, that's why tiem out isn't very effective for very long. You might try taking him and setting a silent timer on your phone- 6 minutes is what he has to sit for at first, then take a walk in the vestibule for 10, then go back and sit for 6 more... Gradually increase the time until he reaches that magic onehour.

05/02/2012 new
(Quote) Kate-749265 said: I have a 6 yr old who consistantly acts out during mass. Its really hard to meet people when you're sooo emb...
(Quote) Kate-749265 said:

I have a 6 yr old who consistantly acts out during mass. Its really hard to meet people when you're sooo embarrassed and no one ever dares to sit near us, it's like a disease. I remember when I was little my sibs and I used to act up as well, and we eventually got older and quit going to mass all together. I've tried talking to him a million times and it doesn't seem to work. Tried bribing its hit or miss. Ignore him and it gets worse. I want to be able to enjoy mass and really pray and focus on the sermons, not constantly trying to curb his behavior. Does anyone have any ideas?

--hide--
I used to have a childrens book on the mass so I could hand it to my son to look at during Mass. It seemed to help....
05/03/2012 new

ok, w/no outstanding disabilities, i look at things from a different perspective. i am a trainer and have been into behaviour for most of my life. i work w/animals, but i assure you that dogs, horses, children and men can be "trained" in much the same way (please dear God, let me still get a date one day after stating that publicly)

anyhow, my suggestions will be brief here, feel free to private msg if you'd like. first off - do NOT be embarrassed for parading down the aisle to take your 6 y/o outside. everyone has either gone through it or is related to someone that has gone through it.


knowing your child is just acting up (does not have a personality disorder or set of behaviours that hinders them), is good in knowing what you can expect. you said your child is good at school, home, etc.... maybe because you are so worried about how it's affecting fellow parishoners, that gives the ok to misbehave?


sometimes kids just do what they do, because they can; BUT if you are consistent, you'll get it done.

and i'd like to thank you for being the parent that realizes sometimes a child should be walked outside, for the benefit of others - Thank You!!! wave


05/04/2012 new

You're getting great advice, so let us know how it goes this week.
My son walked up on the altar during the Eucharistic prayer once. Fr. just giggled and ignored him. (he's still a fast one!)

05/04/2012 new
How cute!
05/04/2012 new

(Quote) Kate-749265 said: Thanks for your great advice and stories! I feel so alone at my church, as I am the only one with ...
(Quote) Kate-749265 said:

Thanks for your great advice and stories! I feel so alone at my church, as I am the only one with a wiggley one. We normally do the 11am mass, but maybe the 8:30 would be better so we can go again if he acts up, I liked that idea best and haven't tried it. Sitting up front just means I have to walk him up the isle and out the door and advertise to the entire parish that my kid is miss behaving. I've done that before too! I wish I could say it's ADHD or something as all of my friends children have special needs, ADD, ADHD, Autism and so forth, because that way I wouldn't take his behavor so personal. But he's fine in school and everywhere else. I'm gonna try the early mass this Sunday, and maybe go back for the 11am one too. That oughta teach him!

--hide--


I would structure in some free play and exercise before mass for at least an hour so he tires out. He is too wound up and bored to sit there. Also some small religious childrens books, could help and/or a small assortment of little miniature statues to play quietly with?

05/04/2012 new

I'm not a parent, or know the first thing about parenting, but when I was 6 years old, you couldn't get me to sit still or "behave" for the life of you. Continue on keeping him involved throughout the service by informing him about what's going on, maybe praise him for being good, even if it's for a brief time. Bottom line, he's just a little kid. Kids don't like to sit still and behave for an hour or more. It hits a nerve when people play the whole "adhd" card in little kids when they act up when they shouldn't. Why would they? They have a short attention span, they want to play, be outside, explore their surroundings. Anyhow, that is my advice for you and your little one. As he gets older and becomes more aware of what is going around him, he will get the idea. Good for you for bringing him to mass, he will appreciate it later on. God Bless.

05/20/2012 new
I have 2 children with ADHD. One of which also has Tourette's syndrome. Both of them sit still the entire mass. They sit together and when my son starts snorting, my daughter rubs the back of his neck. It calms and distracts him.

My brother was a holy terror, even in church...until my mom sat in the very front row. He was able to see everything! He wasn't looking at a see of heads or backsides. He would sit, wide eyed, watching everything. It was like having a different brother.
05/20/2012 new
I have 2 children with ADHD. One of which also has Tourette's syndrome. Both of them sit still the entire mass. They sit together and when my son starts snorting, my daughter rubs the back of his neck. It calms and distracts him.

My brother was a holy terror, even in church...until my mom sat in the very front row. He was able to see everything! He wasn't looking at a see of heads or backsides. He would sit, wide eyed, watching everything. It was like having a different brother.
05/20/2012 new

Thanks everyone for your support and suggestions. Though I've tried most everything from giving him a book or small quiet toy, to sitting in the front row (most embarrassing!!) The past two weeks we've gone to mass twice each weekend!Yesterday, I made him apologize to Father for being disruptive and messing up one of the missilettes (he put it in his mouth yuk!) I really wish I could say he has ADHD or something, but that's not the case. Maybe it's because I have no back up, like no one there to say "do as your mother says" ? He's very bright and knows how to push mommy's buttons. Anyway, my gut is telling me to continue going to each mass till he behaves for a full one, plus you get to see more people that way (and realize mine's the worst one in the parish). I think I'm just gonna continue that route

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